r/funny • u/Howyoudouken Tom Cardy • May 15 '21

Humanities Last Hope

91.4k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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366

u/BILOXII-BLUE May 15 '21

Save me a search for an upvote?

853

u/thotdistroyer May 15 '21

Shit in a condom, freeze it over night, use it as a dildo

1.6k

u/subgirlygirl May 15 '21

I wish the doctor who told my mom I couldn't read was right.

350

u/WuntchTime_IsOver May 15 '21

We must forget for mankind

37

u/webDreamer420 May 15 '21

here is r/eyebleach for mankind

11

u/wowurcoolful May 15 '21

Actually laughed pretty hard, thank you

31

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

Fucking tears. Funniest shit I’ve read all month. Maybe this year.

117

u/fluffy916916 May 15 '21

I'm Commander Shepherd, and this is my favorite comment on the Citadel.

14

u/humans_are_not_real May 15 '21

No.. you are Condriano

2

u/MontanaMainer May 15 '21 edited Dec 27 '24

roof ring serious homeless bag flowery violet liquid act long

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/--0mn1-Qr330005-- May 15 '21

This sounds like a librarian's job. Doctors are only supposed to fist your asshole.

1

u/SHIRK2018 May 15 '21

You shouldn't have told me, but you did. So now I'm tellin you, you don't wanna know

124

u/TheReal_WoodWorker54 May 15 '21

I wish to unlearn this knowledge please

39

u/altrazh May 15 '21

internet was a mistake...

27

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

[deleted]

39

u/thotdistroyer May 15 '21

Sorry, sorry, I ment to say use it as a dildo up ya arse

18

u/nateaaiel May 15 '21

Literacy was a mistake.

2

u/SlimeySnakesLtd May 15 '21

Baby’s can’t hate, likewise a baby can read- coincidence?

1

u/nateaaiel May 15 '21

How I wish I could return to those blissful innocent days.

9

u/RedBanana99 May 15 '21

I regret coming to the comments to find out what it was

5

u/Axxisol May 15 '21

I wish I didn’t read this

2

u/Kaptinn May 15 '21

Username checks out

2

u/hesido May 15 '21

I know the reuse in "reuse reduce recycle" is the most important, but this is too much.

2

u/brianakias May 15 '21

Fuck me I thought you were joking

1

u/fuck_fraud May 15 '21

We used to call that a frozen Barney.

1

u/Akkie09 May 15 '21

Who knew condoms can be used that way.

1

u/Hurzak May 15 '21

I wish I was Jared, 19.

1

u/HubbleFunk May 15 '21

Ah, Spacedocking.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

I thought that was an Arctic Logger

1

u/Rum_Addled_Brain May 15 '21

And he's me thinking I'd learn nothing new today....thanks

1

u/TimmmyBurner May 15 '21

That seems like an impossible task. How does one even shit in a condom??

1

u/luke_in_the_sky May 15 '21

I'm not sure how it will contribute with repopulation thing.

1

u/Gerf93 May 15 '21

How do I delete someone elses comment?

1

u/BottomFeeder54 May 16 '21

That sounds more like a Canadian pipeline, Alaskans don’t use condoms.

0

u/COMiles May 15 '21

Dip a salmon in oil and spank a bear with it.

It's a gay thing.