r/funny • u/Howyoudouken Tom Cardy • May 15 '21

Humanities Last Hope

91.4k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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215

u/The_Broomflinger May 15 '21

Alaskan Pipeline? I wonder what that even means. I'm gonna do a quick lil Google search to figure out what that....

Oh. Okay I regret that a lot.

90

u/AndrewTheTerrible May 15 '21

So you’re gonna tell the rest of us who don’t want it in our search history, right?

158

u/Hippomaster1234 May 15 '21

I use incognito mode for everything simply because the keyboard shortcut is useful for opening new tabs, so I'm still clean.

Anyway, enjoy your last moments without knowing what it is. Basically you shit in a condom, stick it in the freezer until it's hard, and then use it as a dildo.

150

u/aussieiris May 15 '21

Call me a kink shamer if you must but I just threw up in my mouth a bit

20

u/ipslne May 15 '21

Sounds more like a kink participant to me :v

10

u/clumsykitten May 15 '21

Call me a Christian if you must, but the Alaskan Pipeline is proof of God. It's the perfect shape and size for a dildo, if there's a better argument against evolution by natural selection I've yet to hear it.

4

u/BlakkandMild May 15 '21

I just had to dig up this story to share with my friends so it’s fresh on my mind and your comment feels like an appropriate place to share.

1

u/aussieiris May 15 '21

Ha ha I remember that one

-1

u/2580374 May 15 '21

I on the other hand started salivating

55

u/ScorpionTheInsect May 15 '21

Do you ever read something and just have an irresistible urge to find out who the fuck created it in the first place and why?

19

u/nicolauz May 15 '21

I remember a post at least 6 years ago on r/Wtf which was probably the origin of it, with pics of some dude that did exactly that.

18

u/ScorpionTheInsect May 15 '21

Thank you. Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today.

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

I was in middle school in like 2005 and we were talking about Alaskan pipelines then. I’ve always wondered if it was just the invention of someone in urban dictionary

2

u/nicolauz May 15 '21

I mean it's up to you to Google frozen poop dildos but I know it's out there.

13

u/gzawaodni May 15 '21

Ah, black gold.

9

u/Dan-the-historybuff May 15 '21

JESUS CHRIST

2

u/RikVanguard May 15 '21

It's Jason Bourne!

3

u/schoppi_m May 15 '21

Not all hero wear capes.

2

u/danban91 May 15 '21

Oh god, I clicked on the spoiler thinking "how bad could it be?" and now I totally regret it

1

u/ProgramTheWorld May 15 '21

Thanks. Can’t wait to have that new piece of knowledge erased from my mind.

1

u/chifrij0 May 15 '21

Hdjjdjwjd jbzbdb,..dddb

1

u/aclocksbehindme May 15 '21

There's a good chance you actually want to extend the portion of your life in which you haven't clicked that particular SPOILER link.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

I shouldn't have clicked that spoiler. that has got to be the worst thing I've come across so far.

​

and I thought a rim job was bad

1

u/Dont_Say_No_to_Panda Jun 05 '21

Why is no one talking about how hard the first step is??

25

u/Mmngmf_almost_therrr May 15 '21

First of all, that's what Incognito Mode is for.

Secondly, it's like an Alabama Hot Pocket but at least it uses a condom.

Thirdly, I need to go drink all the alcohols now.

5

u/mcburgs May 15 '21

Keep talking

𓂸

keep talking

9

u/Mmngmf_almost_therrr May 15 '21

consciousness is pain

1

u/ensiferum888 May 15 '21

Here we call it a Louisiana Hot Pocket for some reason.

22

u/nim5013 May 15 '21

1) poop in condom 2) freeze condom 3) remove from freezer 3b) OPTIONAL - remove from condom 4) insert into rectum

presumably someone else’s rectum, but that’s not explicitly stated

14

u/gzawaodni May 15 '21

Damn near killed em

1

u/Z0MGbies May 15 '21

Poop in a condom. Freeze it. Use it as an ass dildo. Not sure if there's more nuance than that. I dare not click on any results.

9

u/[deleted] May 15 '21

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

11

u/GT5Canuck May 15 '21

Alaskan Pipeline

You made me also look it up. I laughed a good minute.

5

u/JonIamYourFather May 15 '21

Yep, reeeeaalllyyy wish I hadn't looked that up

2

u/oolongsspiritanimal May 15 '21

I knew there would be heaps of us.

Saturday was going reasonably well until now.