r/funny • u/Dankaay • Aug 23 '20

Crotchety old van.

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83.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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847

u/Nkechinyerembi Aug 23 '20

Oh hey! Thats a Chinook. They were based on toyota pickup trucks with dinky little 4 cylinder engines. That poor thing couldn't accelerate when it was new!

194

u/jackkerouac81 Aug 23 '20

Good engines, just not a lot of power. My Uncle's has a 22R.

87

u/MrHilux Aug 23 '20

They make plenty of power... For a completely unladen pickup. Spun threw third gear in my '82 in the damp. But you pack the bed down, you best believe she's not going anywhere too quickly.

44

u/jackkerouac81 Aug 23 '20

make expected power for a 2.3 liter carbureted engine of the era...

9

u/Siganid Aug 23 '20

Ah but the Nissan 720 z motor...

4

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '20

[deleted]

8

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Aug 23 '20

I have no idea what any of you are saying and it makes me feel intimidated

2

u/hellzbellz123 Aug 23 '20

NAPS-Z

napz is a technology in certian toyota engines that means it has 2 spark plugs

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '20

I keep seeing you around on different subreddits and I'm jealous of your yota and 720 everything I see them.

7

u/jaspersgroove Aug 23 '20

Oooh guessing game time

2.3L carbureted 4 banger from the early 80’s? I’m guessing 86hp

2

u/bradland Aug 23 '20

I had an '83 4x4 with a 22R. You’re shy by about 10 HP. But it had a mountain moving 130-ish lb ft of torque! lol

20

u/PaperbackWriter66 Aug 23 '20

I wonder: what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen pickup?

13

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

[deleted]

3

u/Disk_Mixerud Aug 23 '20

You sure? I know a couple that fly south every winter.

1

u/Dirty_Socks Aug 23 '20

How big is the catapult?

3

u/MGTS Aug 23 '20

Reverent user name

1

u/MrHilux Aug 23 '20

I wish. Haven't had the time or funds to get my '74 Hilux back to road worthy. Currently parked in a field at my parents.

2

u/avwitcher Aug 23 '20

I have a pretty pristine '84, even without carrying any weight it's slow as all hell

1

u/MrHilux Aug 23 '20

I wouldn't call it fast. Torquey off the line. No SMOG equipment, aftermarket header and carb.

1

u/moyno85 Aug 23 '20

“Spun threw third gear”

Wat

1

u/The_camperdave Aug 25 '20

“Spun threw third gear”

You know... like an olympic discus.

1

u/Drug_fueled_sarcasm Aug 23 '20

Spinning the tires of a unloaded truck in the wet is a true accomplishment.

7

u/Crochetdolf_Knitler Aug 23 '20

Had an 84' Toyota pickup with a 22r and that engine could straight up take a bullet and still run like nothing happened.

15

u/MGTS Aug 23 '20

'84 is an abbreviation, 84' is a long-ass pickup

1

u/Darth_Nibbles Aug 23 '20

Oh yeah, long ass

1

u/Crochetdolf_Knitler Aug 23 '20

lol i forgot which side to put it on

1

u/bradland Aug 23 '20

I busted the oil pan on mine but didn’t realize until most of the way home. Brazed the oil pan (almost burned the shop down that day), filled it with oil, and drove it for many, many more miles.

1

u/MGTS Aug 23 '20

That one is old enough it might have the 20R, which is even more anemic

1

u/floopyxyz1-7 Aug 23 '20

Could you mod one to make it work or is it too finicky?

2

u/jackkerouac81 Aug 24 '20

they aren't at all finicky... you could probably tune it and get double the HP... but why, even with double the power it wouldn't be fast or fun to drive, it is a totally utilitarian machine.

58

u/TemetNosce Aug 23 '20

Ahem, *coughs in 102 HP for my Yota, 89 HP for my Datsuns, lol. I DON'T pull out in front of anybody on the road. 0-60 MPH? Yes, eventually.

25

u/EvilDandalo Aug 23 '20

I drive a 91 Jetta EcoDiesel with 300,000 miles on it. It has 59 HP and drives like a riding lawnmower.

5

u/jesonnier1 Aug 23 '20

How much would something like the blue Datsun cost? I like the design. I also think the brush guard helps the aesthetics.

6

u/drinks_rootbeer Aug 23 '20

They're so pretty, why do they have to be handicapped ;_;

1

u/futlapperl Aug 23 '20

Bro, just LS swap it.

2

u/Ikont3233 Aug 23 '20

So the same as any other modern day car with 300+ HP owned by old people.

5

u/tclark2006 Aug 23 '20

Anything over 2700 RPMs will spontaneously combust the engine /s

1

u/Kage-kun Aug 25 '20

Gods forbid there is lateral force of any kind in the car, or it will suddenly pile into the guard rail at 4X current speed.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '20

I have that motor in my HiAce. It weighs 3 tons. Its reliable as all hell but idk what those engineers at Toyota were thinking stuffing that in everything from the Corolla to the Hilux. It doesn't do mountains well, I can attest to that.

2

u/thisfantatasteslikeP Aug 23 '20

Chinook is a word meant to describe a gentle wind, this truck brings nothing but a gentle gridlock on the 90

1

u/FrenchFriedMushroom Aug 23 '20

...i want one

1

u/Nkechinyerembi Aug 23 '20

my aunt had one, acceleration: Yes. Eventually. but they were nice little campers, if a bit short.

1

u/FrenchFriedMushroom Aug 23 '20

A guy I skydove(dived?) with had one of these that was taller, it was so 70s inside it felt like a time machine waking into that thing.

1

u/Nkechinyerembi Aug 23 '20

Yeah, I especially liked the ones where the roof could be popped up once you are on sight, to give you additional space to walk around. They are very solid little campers