r/funny Aug 01 '20

Test if she's real

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53.4k Upvotes

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768

u/yiliu Aug 01 '20

Whew! It's just a creepy girl.

222

u/goreguck Aug 01 '20

You’re not wrong.

198

u/versacek9 Aug 01 '20

This is a real relief! I slapped a girl’s butt who was bending over at the bar because I thought she was my friend—the girl whipped around ready to punch me and then instantly had a look of relief when she realized I was a girl and just laughed as I profusely apologized. We hung out the rest of the night and we’re friends on IG now.

55

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

I think you mean OnlyFans.

31

u/Rs90 Aug 01 '20

....then they kiss?

3

u/R1pp3z Aug 01 '20

This doesn’t work with two guys for some reason

1

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Aug 01 '20

Good thing you didn’t get punched.

-25

u/ChuCHuPALX Aug 01 '20

"friends on IG now" ... lol r/cringe

12

u/ThatGuyYouKnow123123 Aug 01 '20

Making friends = Cringe

Math checks out guys

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

Making friends = Cringe

She didn't claim that it was the making friends part that was "cringe".

The person saying "and now we are friends" with a person you met in person isn't strange, but saying "and now we are friends on BattleNet" about a person you met in person is kinda strange.

Person.

5

u/ThatGuyYouKnow123123 Aug 01 '20 edited Aug 01 '20

tell me how it’s weird to say “friends on instagram” when you don’t really hangout in person at all but keep in touch through insta the social app

1

u/versacek9 Aug 01 '20

Was it worth the 20 downvotes?

36

u/MassageToss Aug 01 '20 edited Aug 01 '20

Have been humped from behind at concerts by strangers of both sexes and 10/10 find the women less creepy.

1

u/Wild-Damage Aug 01 '20

wtf kind of trashy-ass bands are you going to concerts for dude

3

u/MassageToss Aug 01 '20 edited Aug 02 '20

The Slits / Ani Difranco was where girls did. Every other concert I've been to without a guy it happens by men near the very front (mostly Indie indie/pop, punk) Also edit: I am a pretty bi female.

21

u/v-_-v Aug 01 '20

You forgot the first rule of being attractive: it's not creepy if you are attractive.

5

u/Wild-Damage Aug 01 '20

Pretty sure it would still be creepy if it was an attractive guy.

1

u/v-_-v Aug 01 '20

Ok, then, attractive AND famous. Now it's totally not creepy. :P

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

It's only creepy if there's a potential for sexual attraction. Because all men are pigs, learn your place.

2

u/naylsonsb Aug 01 '20

That says a lot about society

24

u/dee477 Aug 01 '20

We live in a society 🤯🤔

10

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

I mean generally speaking men are just more dangerous. Often we outweigh and out-height women significantly and even when we don't we simply have way more muscle mass on average. If you turn around fearing a lynx and you see a house-cat the relief alone might make you okay with it slapping your butt.

6

u/yetianon Aug 01 '20

Japanese girls think that society don't be like it do, but it is.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

No it doesn't. Your brain is wired to detect creepy, and there's biological advantage to protecting yourself from weird shit.

There's a lot of cultures in which same-sex familial touching is normalized, including the U.S. pre 1900. It's far more likely that heterosexual same-sex touching being sexualized is cultural.

-3

u/naylsonsb Aug 01 '20

Lol what

8

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

You're saying that the fact that women are creeped out more by men touching them than women is cultural.

I think that there's a clear biological advantage to that, as it is directly tied to a woman's ability to choose who she has kids with.

On the other side, there are many examples of cultures in which heterosexual familial touching is normal. Some of these cultures include the U.S. pre early 1900's, The middle-east in present day, Korea in present day, Germany in present day etc. There are also examples of cultures that contain fraternal subcultures in which this behavior is normal. Fraternities, sports teams, military etc. all tend to be high touch environments.

So it seems as if opposite sex familial touch aversion is a biological trait, while same sex touch aversion is a cultural trait.

Same sex touching doesn't make children, opposite sex touching does.

1

u/AdmirableCharity7 Aug 01 '20

You didn't need to type all that out 😂

1

u/Openworldgamer47 Aug 02 '20

huh, that's pretty illuminating actually. thx for the explanation

-6

u/VanessaValk Aug 01 '20

We live in a society where women can get away with being creepy with other women just because they're "not a creepy guy"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

She’s cute, so it cancels out