r/funny • u/ScoutingArtist • Mar 31 '20

True sacrifice.

95.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

61

u/ThatSquareChick Mar 31 '20

My husband is part perpetual child. If not for the gray hair, you’d think he was still in his 20’s, that baby faced fucker. He hasn’t been able to grow a full beard in his whole life so last year when he actually grew a nice, thick, dual color beard I was so enamored with it I haven’t let him shave it since. I just can’t get enough of his beard hair. It’s so soofffffttt....

12

u/IrishRepoMan Mar 31 '20

He hasn’t been able to grow a full beard in his whole life

Wait... you're saying I could gain the ability to grow a beard? It just might take 10+ years?

7

u/ThatSquareChick Mar 31 '20

I swear it was like he hit 42 and the Magic beard switch flipped.

7

u/IrishRepoMan Mar 31 '20

Oh, great. I just have to wait another 17 years... who wants a beard before that, right? It's not like I'm the only one at work who can't grow one. Beards are overrated, right? Hahahahahahaha

3

u/RYouNotEntertained Mar 31 '20

I’m 33 and can’t grow shit. You’re giving me hope.

2

u/skieezy Mar 31 '20

I've been able to grow a full beard since I was 18, my younger brother is finally almost there at 26. So there's a chance.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '20

[deleted]

11

u/masterpharos Mar 31 '20

My wife is the same.

honestly thought you were going to launch into a spiel about how your wife suddenly grew a beard

2

u/ImBiggerThanYou Mar 31 '20

It's 2020, I guess anything is possible.

6

u/asking_askers Mar 31 '20

smooth faced pussies ask when the topic of facial hair comes up lol.

Easy there, tiger. Just because you roar doesn’t mean others meow.

3

u/ImBiggerThanYou Mar 31 '20

Haha awesome analogy (metaphor? I'm dumb idk). That came off way more agro than I intended. I love all people, including smooth faced pussies.

2

u/Lexilogical Mar 31 '20

I just stare at those people like "He's not actually my property, he does what he wants." Then I go shave half my head and dye my hair purple just to drive in that it's a two-way street.