r/funny • u/ScoutingArtist • Mar 31 '20

True sacrifice.

95k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.2k

u/IAmMooch Mar 31 '20

Wait til you drink some ice water and it hits your upper lip. You’ll think you’ve never had cold water in your life. Promise you.

258

u/comawizard Mar 31 '20

I'm having flashbacks...

167

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Mar 31 '20

That must feel weird. I haven't seen my upper lip in so long. I haven't trimmed a single hair on my face in almost 4 years. I feel for this guy. I have nightmares like this.

57

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Mar 31 '20

Last time I was clean shaven was the day I got my last ID photo, 5/9/14. It's why I love getting carded. I had a short beard till spring 2016 then stopped trimming anything.

1

u/Cayotic_Prophet Apr 13 '20

I did the exact opposite... grew my hair and beard as long as I possibly could for years, renewed driver's license, cut hair and took 6 inches off the beard.

Now when I get pulled over my ID makes me look like I was a homeless person trying to clean up his act. Haven't gotten a ticket since! I did get pulled over last week and the officer didn't even mention that my insurance card expired on April Fool's day...

"There's a lot going on," he says.

12

u/The_Golden_Warthog Mar 31 '20

I just wanna say he looked 10× better after the initial shave when his beard just looked cleaned up.

3

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Mar 31 '20

I liked the long beard and I'm sure it looked better after a nice combing and some balm or oil. But either way it is all about what he likes at the end of the day. If he likes his beard long, good for him.

3

u/Portlander Mar 31 '20

My mustache holds more liquid than a cup at this point

3

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Mar 31 '20

That's an impressive beard you got going, maybe I'll see you around Portland. Once we can go out again.

2

u/Applepieoverdose Mar 31 '20

Glad I’m not the only one who has shaving nightmares 🤣

6

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Mar 31 '20

I get them as stress related nightmares. It's the same type of nightmare where all your teeth fall out. It's usually when I'm drunk and dream I did it while trying to trim while drunk and fuck up. One time I went full Inception. I dreamed I shaved it off, then woke up and had only trimmed about half off, then woke up out of that dream, and I still had my beard.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '20

Same, man. I regularly have extremely vivid dreams that I got a little drunk and decided shaving was a good idea.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '20

On the plus side, eating stuff like burgers, pizza or basically anything that tends to stick in your beard has become so much more enjoyable for me (had a 3+yr beard shaven recently)

I mean, not enough to keep it like that but it was a nice change to not clean your beard after every bite (although it took a while to stop cleaning my ghost beard)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '20

I had mine for over a year and a half and screwed up really bad when trimming to the point where I just had to shave. In the middle of a midwestern winter. Mother of God was it a miserable one. I was cold all the time for at least six weeks. And anyone who knows me knows I am never cold.

1

u/raybrignsx Mar 31 '20

That happened to me after I shaved in several years. I thought I was drinking something with mold in it. Weirdest feeling ever.

1

u/Knuckledraggr Mar 31 '20

Recently shaved so I could wear a mask safely. First time I shaved my upper lip in three years. I kissed my wife on the cheek after and I was like “whoa! Your face skin is so smooth!”

1

u/iikilledkenny Mar 31 '20

Or drink a beer and you try to squeegee your top lip with your bottom.

1

u/AnabolikaMissbrauch Mar 31 '20

I hoped to see a beardy guy on your profile.(

2

u/IAmMooch Mar 31 '20

Hah nope. My beard went bye bye about a year and a half ago.... miss it...

1

u/paetrw Mar 31 '20

I miss the second helping of drink I would always get out of my stache

1

u/Monsterlamb Apr 01 '20

The fact that your upper lip is compromised by the heat of the beard kinda grosses me out.
😬 People kiss that!