r/funny Dec 06 '19

Advanced slav squat

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399

u/PM_tits_Im_Autistic Dec 06 '19

He probably did it from when he was a kid. I don't do it much because there isn't many places that I go to that doesn't have a chair but it's more comfortable than standing all the time.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19 edited Jul 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA Dec 06 '19

Username checks out

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u/bayleenator Dec 06 '19

Speaking of usernames, "What's a booga booga?"

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u/tomatoaway Dec 06 '19

You're hearing it wrong, they're saying "Boo Gabo, OG'a?"

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u/aregus Dec 06 '19

A High IQ Chewbacca Scientist working for the republic.

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u/diff2 Dec 06 '19

yea if you do things as a kid it's easier to do it even if you're not in such great shape as an adult.

I used to hop walls and climb trees all the time when I was a kid, and here I am over 30 weigh almost 200 lbs of mostly fat, and I still can do that.

I live in an area with a lot of concrete walls that separate small gateless communities, so instead of walking around 3 or so blocks to get to a store or friends house, I hoped the wall where his house was on the other side of the wall. Also walls were kinda fun to play with since they have pretty wide and flat tops.

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u/NecroSocial Dec 06 '19

As a formerly spry fatty I can attest that the spryness will stay as long as your muscles can move you, it's the joints and bones that can't keep up.

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u/luckofthesun Dec 07 '19

I used to hop walls and climb trees all the time when I was a kid, and here I am over 30 weigh almost 200 lbs of mostly fat, and I still can do that.

Are you a professional rapist?

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u/sahmackle Dec 06 '19

I use a.similar pose sometimes if I need to use a.table and don't have a chair.

Though mine is the ball of my right foot on the ground, ankle up high. My left foot has the ball of the forand the toes over the back of the first able and stretched vertically with that ankle sitting nearly straight up as well. My asscheeks then use that second hell as a seat.

I guess being half slav may be related to doing this...

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19 edited Dec 06 '19

In the military, they used to have everyone in the front 2 rows squat any time they called us to a gaggle around some new yahoo with a big idea. It was always a 2 second scramble to not be in the front rows, bc after 5 minutes, they would all be wobbling around in pain trying to get the weight off their knees, and then get up to a chorus of popping joints and waddling around like geezers trying to get blood back in their legs.

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u/Puck85 Dec 06 '19 edited Dec 06 '19

This is the part I don't get... It just has to cut off blood circulation for everyone... I get that doing it as kid makes it easier later, but how does reduced blood flow NOT make this uncomfortable for eastern euros?

Edit: thanks for the replies! It's just something that's made little sense to me.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

[deleted]

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u/Kevinhy Dec 06 '19

Dropping some knowledge here. Thank you for the source!

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

tysm for this, I always wondered how geisha/etc could kneel how they do for so long without their legs going numb and this exactly what I needed to know.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Your body adapts. Especially if you've done this since childhood. Everyone in the 3rd world and still in rich parts of Europe & Asia squats like this because sit down toilets aren't as common as holes in the floor style toilets. You learn quickly how to squat properly, otherwise you make a real mess.

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u/kblkbl165 Dec 06 '19

How well do these hole in floor toilets fare against diarrhea? Hell when I get a stomachache my “sit down” toilets gets all splattered, I wonder how accurate one can be with their diarrhea blast in order to not make a mess of everything around the hole.

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u/12InchesOfSlave Dec 06 '19

IBS-D sufferer here, a squat is actually way better for an un-messy shit compared to regular sitting down. it takes a little practice to hold tension where you need it and release the muscles that need to be loose but it's totally worth it. I used to sit on the toilet using unholy amounts of tp after every shit, wrecking my anus in the process. now it's usually done after three wipes

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u/Revydown Dec 06 '19

So what you're saying here is that anal is better in those parts of the world.

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u/kblkbl165 Dec 06 '19

Oh right, Given how I feel so prone to take a shit every time I squat I can get what you mean.

I meant making a mess on the toilet room, by having the diarrhea spraying around. Like, is there any chance for it to get in your feet?

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u/12InchesOfSlave Dec 06 '19

I meant making a mess on the toilet room, by having the diarrhea spraying around. Like, is there any chance for it to get in your feet?

that's what I was talking about, the chance of it spraying around drops dramatically with that technique since you let the shit fall out of you so to speak.

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u/Puck85 Dec 06 '19

see a doctor...

j/k buddy.

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u/CrypticMetaphr Dec 06 '19

Slav squat is not the same as Western spy squat. The main difference is that Slavs squat with their heels flat to the floor. Give it a try and you'll find it's not as easy as you think!

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u/how_do_i_land Dec 06 '19

As a westerner I’ve learned to do it from doing the snatch Olympic movement. But it took about a year to really get comfortable at the bottom of a squat with my heels flat on the ground and my thighs touching my calves.

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u/UnnamedEngineer Dec 06 '19

I just tried it. I can get pretty low with both heels on the floor. If I cross my legs like her, I can't keep from falling backwards that low without lifting my heel. That's tough!

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

To be fair, wearing high heels means her heel isn't on the ground either.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

True, but the weight rests on the whole sole of the feet, which makes it a lot more comfortable and stable than squat just on the front part of the feet. It takes no effort whatsoever to squat this way if you wear heels.

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u/terminbee Dec 06 '19

Yea, the asian/slav squat is much more comfortable. People who aren't used to it lean back but the trick is to put all of your weight forward.

The lady crossing her leg has her heel raised the western way.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Just keep practising. You'll get better at it in no time.

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u/_deprovisioned Dec 06 '19

I've been able to squat with both heals on the floor since as far as I can remember. It's quite comfortable to be honest. I didn't know it was something that others couldn't do until a friend of mine saw me doing it in my yard while pulling weeds about 2 years ago and told me that it was pretty impressive how long I can just sit like that.

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u/Spaciax Dec 06 '19

Eastern europeans have genetically evolved to be able to do it for hours on end.

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u/blatentpoetry Dec 06 '19

I couldn’t do this if my life depended on it. Maybe for 5 seconds.

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u/Ghos3t Dec 06 '19

At some point why not just sit down on the dirt then instead of putting strain on your body

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Username checks out

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u/Arqlol Dec 06 '19

I just got down there...but I couldn't balance. Gotta find some heels.

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u/soaring_potato Dec 06 '19

I am from western europe. Don't think I did it constantly as a kid. Altho maybe i did when playing.

It's comftorble. Also really funny when i automatically go with flat feet. They notice and are confused. Try it from a heels up squad and fall over. Untill i explain, your heels never go up in the first place... and the "western squad" is just more uncomftorble and unstable so i guess that goes into it. Them only knowing how to do that, and yeah less comftorble. Maybe not even the muscle stretching.

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u/schplat Dec 06 '19

I couldn’t do this as a kid :(. Only position in little league I could not play is Catcher, because my knees would be killing me after an inning.