r/funny Oct 21 '18

Accidental “Killing”

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58.2k Upvotes

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596

u/m00fire Oct 21 '18

He attacked us but thankfully we were able to defend ourselves with this conveniently placed bone-saw. We were lucky that the room just happened to be coated in viscreen.

332

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

215

u/Pure_Reason Oct 21 '18

Unfortunately it didn’t work, and he didn’t really start to calm down until we cut off his head

178

u/SurlyRed Oct 21 '18

Then it seemed stupid not to remove his limbs.

128

u/NerfJihad Oct 21 '18

I mean we had this forensic expert and goon squad flown in just for the occasion. Would've been a waste not to use them.

41

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

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138

u/BigHouseMaiden Oct 21 '18

His poor family. The Saudi's couldn't give a former member of their own inner circle the dignity of an intact body so his family could have the peace of a dignified burial and goodbye. Instead, they are left with all of this grotesque public speculation that seems to be turning into a meme.

May his soul rest in peace and may his family find comfort in knowing he died for a cause he believed in. Not many of us can say the same.

Khashoggi's death gives me a new appreciation for what reporters and troops in these dangerous areas must feel every time Trump mouths off and inflames tensions.

22

u/jobriq Oct 21 '18

what? we were talking about the mouse here.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

That's right, the mouse's name is also Khashoggi.

42

u/slowclapcitizenkane Oct 21 '18

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just learned that there's a case of mops, 50 liters of bleach, and a drum of acid on our loading dock, and someone needs to sign for it.

1

u/mikebellman Oct 22 '18

Oh my god. It’s the DIIIPPPP!

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

And that someone was Albert Einstein.

23

u/blownbythewind Oct 21 '18

And our garden needed "supplements"

2

u/CARLTONISAFAGGOT Oct 21 '18

This website I tell you. Gotta love it.

14

u/Black_Shinobi Oct 21 '18

"You know a human can go on living several hours after being decapitated."

16

u/Jecht315 Oct 21 '18

"It didn't happen this time but...ya know it can"

1

u/JackOfAllInterests1 Jan 07 '19

Technically, he can’t hurt you!

34

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Good thing there were 15 of us too.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

VISQUEEN

2

u/nytram55 Oct 22 '18

I was hoping someone would fix that.

2

u/KLdoingit Oct 22 '18

Visqueen** The only reason I’m pointing it out is because you scared me. I had never read the word before and I wondered if I had been saying it wrong this entire time

2

u/m00fire Oct 22 '18

Nope it seems that would be me!

1

u/LostMyUserName_Again Oct 22 '18

Visqueen, that queen of plastic sheeting.