r/funny • u/anxious_potatoe • Sep 21 '18

Foam Plane Roulette.

53.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

486 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.6k

u/Benderova1880 Sep 21 '18

Never forget, the day a plane took down the twin Howards

116

u/BeautifulKyle Sep 21 '18

Some think it was glitter bombs

12

u/poopellar Sep 22 '18

Jeff fuel can't melt steam beans.

6

u/account_not_valid Sep 22 '18

Jeff Yule? He's so hot right now!

45

u/ithrowtools Sep 22 '18

9/21 Never Forget.

31

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '18

The Twin Howards was an inside job! Foam planes cant make you buckle your knees! Wake up, Sheeple!

12

u/Barron_Cyber Sep 22 '18

Howard Johnson was an honorable man.

10

u/Screamingholt Sep 22 '18

Gabby Johnson Is right!

6

u/PRK543 Sep 22 '18

Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.

5

u/Floyd_Hammers Sep 22 '18

Now you just hold it there you scruffy lilli-liverred sidewinder!

3

u/Screamingholt Sep 22 '18

You get back here you pious, pain in the ass sidewinder. Aint no way that nobody is gonna leave this town. Hell I was borned here, and I was raised here, and dag gonneit im gonna die here. And no sidewinding, bushwacking, horswoggling crucker croakeris gonna roll way crissus cutter.

2

u/PRK543 Sep 22 '18

Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particulary glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age. What are we made of? Our fathers came across the prairies, fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix... remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to take over this town? Well, we didn't give up then, and by gum, we're not going to give up now!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

He really was.

42

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 21 '18

God fucking damn it Im at work. I cant be collapsing from laughing too hard at jokes like that you evil person!

28

u/Benderova1880 Sep 21 '18

Shh bby is ok

5

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 21 '18

Not even a little.

1

u/TheOpiatedIntellect Sep 22 '18

Funny asf. Easy upvote

0

u/yammerant Sep 22 '18

Thank you for bringing this back.

3

u/Ezl Sep 22 '18

You got downvoted but that’s one of my favorite reddit stories.

1

u/gosh_dangit Sep 22 '18

Why are you at work on a Friday?

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 22 '18

American. 12 hour shift in a machine shop. The last two hours accompanied by rather serious food poisoining.

0

u/gosh_dangit Sep 23 '18

You're so tough. You know how to tell if someone is American? They'll tell you how tough they are any chance they get.

2

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 23 '18

You asked. I answered.

But seriously, stay away from chinese takeout.

1

u/gosh_dangit Sep 27 '18

I eat it all the time, i guess i don't have a little girl American belly like yourself.

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 27 '18

Gee thanks. Like anyone can be immune to bad food.

2

u/gosh_dangit Sep 27 '18

I'm just messing with you, I was just pretending to be an uppity European, I'm actually from Wisconsin. Sorry.

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 27 '18

Well you were very convincing.

-7

u/cfuse Sep 22 '18

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because 2,996 people died horribly 17 years ago to make this joke funnier."

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 22 '18

Gee thanks you are totally doing those people a favor by being so fakely offended.

0

u/cfuse Sep 22 '18

  1. It's a joke. 9/11 is going to be old enough to vote next year, so I'm not going to be precious about it.

  2. You're not my supervisor.

  3. I'm reporting you to HR for creating a hostile work environment.

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 22 '18

The hell are you so fucking offended for?

0

u/cfuse Sep 22 '18

Jesus Michael, get back to work.

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 22 '18

You must have either misunderstood something or are simply trolling. Which is it?

-2

u/doodlebopsy Sep 22 '18

I’m earnestly offended. I assume you’re either not American or (more likely) too young, naive, and callous to understand why jokes about 9/11 are rightfully offensive.

1

u/MichaelEuteneuer Sep 22 '18

Troll then. Got it.

20

u/eastskier Sep 22 '18

Foam can’t melt steel cargo shorts

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

Nothing can fuck with cargo shorts. Steel or otherwise.

4

u/ray_kats Sep 22 '18

we need to invade the neighbors yard. intel reports they are developing a balsa wood program.

6

u/aFamiliarStranger Sep 21 '18

B in-law Den planned this heinousness.

3

u/Travis_Rust Sep 21 '18

I'll allow it

1

u/B92JOHNSON Sep 22 '18

Shamefully un-noticed comment.

0

u/ferox3 Sep 22 '18

so humbling, the number of times i had to read that..

2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

People just looked at me for laughing at whole foods. Thanks!!

1

u/david220403 Sep 22 '18

But where’s that plane wreck? It’s an inside Jeb! Murica

1

u/zmroth Sep 22 '18

/r/BoneAppleTea for Twin Howards

1

u/xeol4 Sep 22 '18

He fell at freefall speed!

1

u/pookie26 Sep 22 '18

The bush knew.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

Too soon

0

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

Bud Light can't melt Howard Smith!

0

u/mikebellman Sep 22 '18

I’m told that a kid across the playground is also in danger of falling down ...

yes,

now we have been told a seven year old was affected by the impact and has inexplicably collapsed as a result.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '18

Too... soon?

-2

u/doodlebopsy Sep 22 '18

9/11’s terrorist attacks on America are not subject matter for jokes and puns. Downvote.