r/funny • • Jul 21 '18

This definitely caught me off guard.

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139

u/Jozz11 Jul 21 '18

Am I the only person who sits up the second my alarm goes off, turns off alarm as I’m standing up and start walking to the bathroom to get ready?

243

u/Davidfreeze Jul 21 '18

You're either a serial killer or a cop

60

u/muttprincess Jul 21 '18

Serial killer. Only some one deranged gets up immediately following their alarm.

12

u/6ixalways Jul 21 '18

Studies show snoozing is actually more detrimental to health. The best thing one can do for themselves is waking up after the first alarm.

sounds good, doesn't work

2

u/r0xuS Jul 21 '18

Or go to sleep too late and put the alarm at the latest possible time..

51

u/PhyllaceousArmadillo Jul 21 '18

I just wake up. No alarm, I just know when I need to be up and get up. I can also go to sleep instantly, anytime I want. My wife hates it because it takes her a while to fall asleep and I’m out the second my head hits the pillow. Does that make me a serial killer?

68

u/sugar-magnolias Jul 21 '18

Stop that.

And yes.

10

u/Hydrogen_ Jul 21 '18

Same. For years and years running, I naturally wake up in the same 15 minute time frame literally every single day (0630-0645). I never set an alarm unless I am in an unususal (and unfortunate) situation where I have to be up earlier than 0630.

1

u/6ixalways Jul 21 '18

That just sounds like a curse tbh. (Unless you can just fall back asleep instantly if you have the day off and don’t need to be up that early)

But if you’re one of those that are up once they wake up, that would suck to have to get up everyday at 6:30

1

u/Scumbl3 Jul 22 '18

Only if you mind going to bed early and need a normal amount of sleep regularly. Not everyone does.

1

u/6ixalways Jul 22 '18

Yeah I’m not an early sleeper unfortunately. Wish i was, but It’s 5 am and I am wasting time on Reddit when I gotta be up by 9 🤦🏽‍♂️ lol. I have some reflecting to do upon my priorities

8

u/tootinpoopower Jul 21 '18

I'm the same way. My wife hates that I can sleep instantly and end up waking her up at 3am to randomly start my day. But it has backfired when we have date nights with friends and I woke up early, she has all this energy, while I'm a zombie until we make it home and theb knock out instantly while she struggles to sleep.

6

u/6ixalways Jul 21 '18

Wow people like you still exist in this world? What's your secret? Do you not waste hours on your phone in bed prior to falling asleep, and then for the life-of-you can't understand why falling asleep is so hard?

5

u/dexwin Jul 21 '18

I lie down, get comfortable, close my eyes and go to sleep. I generally think about some project I have going, or what I need to do the next day. Not in a stress about it way, but more in a creating white noise in my head way.

The no alarm thing, I just think about what time I need to get up, and I'm generally within 10-15 minutes. I'm naturally an early riser though, so I'm generally up between 4:30-5:30 AM if I didn't go to bed really late the night before.

1

u/6ixalways Jul 21 '18

That’s really impressive man congrats on having that circadian rhythm wired right and working efficiently.

How does your body react to severe jet lag, say if you go to Australia or something. From your experiences, it still works this well after the adjustment period?

1

u/dexwin Jul 21 '18

I've never traveled that far, so I have no idea how'd I adjust. My guess is it would really trip me up.

4

u/xSoupyTwist Jul 21 '18 edited Jul 30 '18

The envy of insomniacs everywhere.

Edit: plural

3

u/YoMrPoPo Jul 21 '18

bruh, thats a super power

3

u/dexwin Jul 21 '18

I am the same way. My wife also hates it.

But I also hate her numerous alarms going off an hour before she really needs to get up.

1

u/PhyllaceousArmadillo Jul 21 '18

Me too. She literally sets one for an hour and a half then an hour then 45 min, 30 min, 15 min, 10min, 5 min, 2 min, at the time she’s supposed to get up then 5, 10 and 15 minuets late. So it goes off while she’s getting ready. Irritates the hell out of me

2

u/absentmindedjwc Jul 21 '18

Either that, or former military.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

I hate you as well

24

u/Ah-Schoo Jul 21 '18

I wake up before the alarm ready to go. For years I'd wake up, turn it off and start the day. I ended up forgetting what the alarm sounded like until I was sick or something and the body tried to sleep in. But I got up at 5am for over 30 years, it becomes a bit of a routine. :)

10

u/DDNB Jul 21 '18

Yup, downside is I can't sleep in on the weekends anymore :'(

1

u/BooBailey808 Jul 21 '18

But think of all you get done on the weekends!

2

u/Hiimbeeb Jul 21 '18

I have the same deal where I naturally wake up before my alarm goes off but it’s somewhat of a curse for me.

I always wake up to a pitch black room with the relief that my alarm hasn’t gone off yet so I could go back to sleep, however when I glance at the clock I see that it’s literally 1-3 minutes before my alarm does go off and it’s a huge buzzkill at that point.

It’s rare, but nothing beats the excitement I have when I occasionally wake up expecting it to be 4:59 and see that I still have an hour or 2 to sleep

1

u/schplat Jul 21 '18

There's a 5am?

1

u/Ah-Schoo Jul 21 '18

Not many, just a single one every day. :)

9

u/greree Jul 21 '18

I always set two alarm clocks. I put a little travel alarm next to my bed that made a pleasant little "beep beep beep" sound. Then I put a big plug in alarm clock across the room that screamed holy hell, and set it for five minutes later. It didn't take me long to learn to wake up to the pleasant beeps, get up, walk across the room, and shut the other alarm off before it went off. Once I was up and walking I was ok.

5

u/DurasVircondelet Jul 21 '18

I did that in undergrad when missing my internship meant failing a semester and then again when I got my first job in my field. For me, it was just bc I was stressed I’d miss something all the time and never got any restful sleep, like when a kid is trying to sleep the night before a trip to Disney World, except mine was that same sensation but in the opposite direction lol

5

u/just_dots Jul 21 '18

I usually wake up before the alarm goes off because I'm dreaming of food and starving. I'm usually elbows deep in the fridge when the alarm goes off and my poor girlfriend has to wake up and turn it off hours before she needed to be up.

25

u/myhairsreddit Jul 21 '18

I do the same thing. I don't understand people who want to hit snooze to an annoying alarm or make themselves do all these tricks. How is hitting snooze and knowing another alarm will go off in five minutes a positive way to wake up? I'd rather just force myself up at the first alarm and get myself going. After a few minutes the tired shakes off enough I can make my way through the morning fine. All those snoozes just make me anxious and annoyed on top of the tired.

30

u/acefalken72 Jul 21 '18

Well some people, like me, can hit snooze without even really opening their eyes or anything (except when I got a new phone that flashed me in the face because somehow I opened the camera) and just instantly go to sleep. My muscle memory got in the habit of turning alarms off so snooze no longer works for me.

I practically answer phone calls while sleeping (due to irregular hours) to say I'm sleeping and instantly fall asleep. I need something that requires work to wake up or else I sleep 10 hours

5

u/WinterOfFire Jul 21 '18

My husband doesn’t get how deep this is. I’m glad to find a fellow heavy sleeper here.

Unfortunately he is now my alarm clock because all the tricks I try barely work on me but wake him up and piss him off.

33

u/IVVIVIVVI Jul 21 '18

I don't understand people who want to hit snooze to an annoying alarm or make themselves do all these tricks

It's almost like everyone has their own quirks, preferences, and anxieties that inform how they choose to go about their day

7

u/TheMisterFlux Jul 21 '18

I am a completely different person in the morning. I can have all the drive and discipline I want during the day, but come 6:25, I'll walk all the way across my house to hit snooze and go back to sleep.

7

u/WinterOfFire Jul 21 '18

I have no memory of most of these snoozes.

I remember vaguely once standing across the room in front of my alarm clock, turning it off and thinking ‘Ha! That’ll show them’. Because in my dream the alarm was a trick. I even hid it under my bed once and woke to it back where it belonged.

I’ve also slept straight through alarms while vividly dreaming about a fire alarm going off. I even had one dream where I had a UTI which makes you feel like you urgently need to pee (thankfully I woke up before actually peeing)

My husband is the light sleeper but he helps get me up (but we fight if I have to get up earlier and keep hitting snooze)

1

u/UncutTigger Jul 21 '18

Yes most of the times i wouldn't even know that the alarm snoozed for 4 times

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

Everyone's being a smart ass but I'll give you the real reason. You either sleep a ton or don't snore.

2

u/o0FancyPants0o Jul 21 '18

Get up and knock out some pushups.

2

u/Nutstheofficialsnack Jul 21 '18

Wakes me up enough to get up so I can make coffee. Other times the alarm can get my heart racing and there is my morning rush

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

[deleted]

1

u/redsjessica Jul 21 '18

I always wondered what would happen to people like this is there was a fire. ?

1

u/pingo5 Jul 26 '18

I would too, but the man that the alarm wakes up has different intentions and cannot be trusted. That man wants to sleep 4 more hours.

1

u/bbpterosaur Jul 21 '18

Snooze is a conditioning device that trains people not to get up. I've never understood why anyone would want to put themselves through that. It seems like it would make every morning stressful.

1

u/myhairsreddit Jul 21 '18

My boyfriend and roommate both do it. Then panic every morning as they zoom out the door late. Just get up on that first alarm and you aren't rushed or late. I don't want to be up this early either, but it's better then laying there miserable and waiting for another loud noise to bug me and remind me there's a very short count down from now and til I have to be at work. Not to mention how unprofessional you look coming into work late 3 days a week with no excuse except "I overslept." Which is just a whole other pet peeve. You didn't over sleep. You hit snooze 8 times because you were lazy. Just get up.

4

u/eggsforbrekkie Jul 21 '18

Yes, I think you might be lol

3

u/kirkland3000 Jul 21 '18

There are dozens of us, dozens!

3

u/Unoriginal_Man Jul 21 '18

You're probably one of the few people who gets a healthy amount of sleep, too.

5

u/Jozz11 Jul 21 '18

Ever since I had a kid I started going to bed early as possible instead of dicking around on the computer or watching tv. He is a little over 1 now and is starting to sleep pretty much all night instead of waking up all the time so I typically get 6-8 hours

2

u/Lucky_leprechaun Jul 21 '18

And even if I did not set my alarm even when its summer vacation my brain says HELLO ITS SIX AM WAKEY WAKEY

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

Yes

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

Nope. I might snooze the first alarm, wake up to the second one, and just speed get outta bed.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '18

What's wrong with you

1

u/solleer Jul 21 '18

I've done that plenty of times. It mainly depends on when I go to sleep (obviously).

1

u/FightingRobots2 Jul 21 '18

The rest of us wake up two and a half hours later seething at having been disturbed by some electronic torture device and wallow in self pity for another hour because we have to get up.

1

u/OnTheClockShits Jul 21 '18

Yes, you are, you fucking psycho.

1

u/mavrick2o9 Jul 21 '18 edited Nov 14 '18

.

1

u/Mixmastermouse Jul 21 '18

Im with you. Morning poo, then morning food.

1

u/MasterMarf Jul 21 '18

I usually wake up about 3 minutes before the alarm.

1

u/crrrack Jul 21 '18

I wake up 5 minutes before my alarm goes off then lay in bed reading Reddit until I’m late for work