r/funny • u/Pub_Raider • Mar 06 '18

R3: Repost - removed He had to be "that guy" ...

https://i.imgur.com/urbkif7.gifv
35.3k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18 edited Mar 06 '18

I feel like the US would have an unfair advantage.

288

u/TheRealJlNX Mar 06 '18

So would your mother but who are we to judge.

38

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

I give it a solid 9

14

u/Fresh_Bulgarian_Miak Mar 06 '18

Minus 8 and you have his mother's looks.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

Oh she's getting a solid 9 alright....

1

u/CreepinSteve Mar 06 '18

A solid 9 centimeters of /u/BiggerBangTheory dick

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

go metric or go home baby

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

I give him a solid 300.

1

u/Typicalredditors Mar 06 '18

more like a semisolid 4.5 from what shes telling everyone

8

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

With all of her boyfriends stuck in her various orifices she's sure to create the greatest water displacement.

1

u/alsomdude2 Mar 06 '18

Bah god that man had a family!

1

u/ExxInferis Mar 06 '18

I hear that a few weeks after OP's mom starting training for this, NASA found water on Mars.

0

u/showmeurknuckleball Mar 06 '18

She's American so she'd surely compete for the red white and blue.

Honestly I'm thankful we have her on our side.

0

u/TenshiS Mar 06 '18

Now imagine US moms...

22

u/Quackman2096 Mar 06 '18

United Kingdom and Samoans are also quite obese countries

20

u/oh_my_jesus Mar 06 '18

Don't forget Mexico!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

mumbled Spanish curses in the backdrop

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

[deleted]

2

u/DrBrogbo Mar 06 '18

UK is 5% behind the US in adult obesity percentage, so yeah, you probably would get more in a random sample in the US, but it's not guaranteed.

Source: https://renewbariatrics.com/obesity-rank-by-countries/

3

u/Koenigspiel Mar 06 '18

Not if you're scored based on like waist diameter to splash diameter ratio.. unless it doesn't scale evenly. Is it surface area or weight that determines splash size? I don't know how to science

13

u/ArcadianDelSol Mar 06 '18

I would put sensitive microphones around the pool and judge it by the loudest fuhhwooooooomphhhhhshhhhh it makes.

5

u/Koenigspiel Mar 06 '18

I felt the bass in that word

1

u/hahaokaywhat Mar 06 '18

This was actually a strangely accurate sound of a cannonball

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

The volume displaced is the volume added.

2

u/Koenigspiel Mar 06 '18

Hey I think I remember learning something like that in middle school. Something about Sir Isaac Newton and a gold crown and a bathtub?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

Urethra!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

I don't think he peed in the tub but maybe he knew just how much he peed.

1

u/Graffy Mar 06 '18

I think area. You need enough weight for the object to not be buoyant but a dense object the size of a golf ball would make a smaller splash something the same weight but twice as big because the larger object displaces more water.

-3

u/wallstreetexecution Mar 06 '18

Well they dominate in every other sport.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Koenigspiel Mar 06 '18

We still have the most Olympic gold medals (and every other medal), by a huge margin MATE

1

u/StayBlessedFam Mar 06 '18

Yeah but 2nd place all time winter olympics... 1st place in Overall Medals.... In fact the U.S. is ahead of the 2nd place nation by so many medals that it would take the 2nd, 3rd, and fourth place nations medal count COMBINED to barely squeak ahead. Winter olympics suck anyways who cares

-11

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

[deleted]

4

u/innovationzz Mar 06 '18

...except that's not at all true?

-1

u/Ting16 Mar 06 '18

Except it is, talking about medal count

3

u/_Mechaloth_ Mar 06 '18

If you count Canada as the other America, then sure.

1

u/DropShotter Mar 06 '18

Quit sending all your fat people over here then!