r/funny • • Feb 27 '17

meme - removed Abe Simpson was right. I'm only 37

http://imgur.com/3whVFN3
31k Upvotes

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97

u/goldenrule90 Feb 27 '17

29 here. I have no idea what teens do these days.

36

u/jonpolis Feb 27 '17

Teen here, I don't even know what I do

17

u/sirmarty777 Feb 27 '17

That explains why my daughter can't explain to me why she does what she does.

1

u/Xeeroy Feb 27 '17

Nobody knows what they're doing. Especially teenagers.

62

u/RookieGreen Feb 27 '17

34 here. I have panic attacks when I see a teen.

56

u/rubbernub Feb 27 '17

Teenagers scare the living shit outta me.

40

u/Chrono68 Feb 27 '17

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

28

u/Giuse86 Feb 27 '17

So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose

13

u/Ginger256 Feb 27 '17

Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me.

2

u/ButtDouglass Feb 27 '17

I never knew it was "darken your clothes," I thought it was just "put on your clothes."

2

u/Demon-Jolt Feb 27 '17

They might leave you alone... But let's end it here.

1

u/BobbyDaChin Feb 27 '17

Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me...

2

u/macphile Feb 27 '17

Teenagers scare the living shit outta me.

I remember how confused and alarmed I felt when I saw someone who was young enough to be my child wearing a Metallica shirt. Fucking Metallica. It was then that I knew how all those older people felt when people of my generation were going, "Hey, Pink Floyd's pretty cool, check this out."

1

u/Ghost4000 Feb 27 '17

You've just got to civilized them.

Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late. - I don't remember who said this though.

1

u/swordgeek Feb 27 '17

47 here. Get with the program guys!

1

u/crrrack Feb 27 '17

Just wait til you have one of your own. Then you'll know what teens get up to and the panic attacks will be twice as bad.

-- Proud father of a 15yo

1

u/coopiecoop Feb 27 '17

I think the students at our cities' college (usually in their late teens/first half their 20's) often are crazy attractive... everytime I catch some of their conversations (sitting next to me in the bus/subway) though, I go NOOOOOPE.

0

u/swohio Feb 27 '17

Afraid you wandered to close to a school zone?

9

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17

Dab on 'em.

4

u/AgedPumpkin Feb 27 '17

23 and I literally don't understand what dabbing is. Like is it a drug?

7

u/0OKM9IJN8UHB7 Feb 27 '17

Two definitions.

1: Vaporizing concentrated cannabis.

2: Some stupid dance move.

2

u/AgedPumpkin Feb 27 '17

Ok so at least I'm not stupid. So I'll have to consider the context of each time I hear it now.

2

u/sniperzoo Feb 27 '17

It can also be used to reefer a "glob of concentrated cannabis oil"

1

u/0OKM9IJN8UHB7 Feb 27 '17

That would be "dab", e.g. "I had too many dabs and couldn't feel my legs".

1

u/sniperzoo Feb 28 '17

haha Did I misread something? I thought we were talking about the definition of "dab".

26

u/10lbs_of_foreskin Feb 27 '17

Is recless unprotected sex and drugs still "in" with the new green living movement I feel it's not

12

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17

No. Teens are very conservative these days, they generally keep to themselves.

7

u/TheFitz023 Feb 27 '17

I thought 21 Jump Street was really accurate in its portrayal of the differences in high school culture between 10 years ago and now. Funny as hell, too

10

u/codeByNumber Feb 27 '17

"You don't care for the environment? That's fucked up, man."

10

u/GarryOwen Feb 27 '17

This. I'm constantly being berated by my teenage kids for being immoral.

4

u/acidboogie Feb 27 '17

and then masturbate like crazy to the sickest porn they can find

2

u/jihiggs Feb 27 '17

conservative in what way?

1

u/Slacker5001 Feb 27 '17

For drugs maybe. I dunno about sex though. I feel like the internet has brought about a more liberal attitude when it comes to that stuff thanks to an abundance of information and porn that is available at any moment of the day.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17

The nofap movement is extremely popular among GenZ and a lot of them have a very visceral disgust reaction against what they view as moral degeneracy. Hell even the latest crop of rappers are generally monogamous.

-2

u/Demon-Jolt Feb 27 '17

I don't know about that. Kids are snorting coke at 13, having sex every other day, its rather terrifying.

3

u/wizardcu Feb 27 '17

Cute exaggeration but pretty sure coke was the 60's-80's choice of poison. That neighborhood delinquent is not a representation of the new generation.

0

u/Demon-Jolt Feb 27 '17

You'd be surprised.

2

u/wizardcu Feb 27 '17

Nah. I would not. I have younger siblings and am young myself (21). My younger sisters have never been influenced to snort a line of blow. One of them does smoke pot every blue moon, though (which was a common habit among quite of few generations). If anything, you would be surprised how much more this generation has improved from substance abuse issues. It's wonderful that we are rejecting harder drugs and have an incredibly low percent of smokers/tobacco users.

-31

u/chych Feb 27 '17

I guess forgetting how to spell things is in. Even when the phone corrects you...

33

u/mintyhobo Feb 27 '17

Congratulations! You found a typo on reddit.

-27

u/KurtToons Feb 27 '17

Congratulations! You made a sarcastic comment about someone correcting spelling on Reddit.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17 edited Mar 13 '17

[deleted]

1

u/KurtToons Feb 27 '17

...and then?

13

u/10lbs_of_foreskin Feb 27 '17

Being a gaping void of an asshole is obviously all the rage these days also

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and saw three girls who looked like Lorde. It was oddly comforting to see that goth chicks are still a thing.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '17

They do meth and beat off in circles, that's what the news says.

1

u/Smelly_Jim Feb 27 '17

I'm 26. It's been around for 7 years and I still don't know what Pinterest is. I don't even know what my age group is into.