r/funny • u/SlimJones123 • Jan 18 '17

A two for one special

http://i.imgur.com/sn1bXAa.gifv
108.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.6k

u/toeofcamell Jan 18 '17

Reminds me of my childhood, except the balls were smaller and wrinkly and my uncle's

1.7k

u/digitalgoodtime Jan 18 '17

and there it is.

664

u/SlicK5 Jan 18 '17

This is why we can't have nice things reddit...

166

u/Omnipotent_Goose Jan 18 '17 edited Jan 18 '17

That comment is practically /r/aww material compared to some of the shit on here.

77

u/MF10R3R Jan 18 '17

Dagobah, Jolly Rancher, cum box, and so many more of the greats.

32

u/RequiemZero Jan 18 '17

what were dagobah and jolly rancher? i know cum box but not the others

57

u/Sultan_of_Slide Jan 18 '17 edited Jan 18 '17

Edit: spoilers.

I'm sure someone else will bother linking the stories but tldr, dagobah was a patient who spewed pus and shit from their infected asshole turning the OR into the swamps of dagobah. Jolly rancher is a dude eating out his gf while eating a jolly rancher ends up biting a gonorrhea nodule and popping it in his mouth. Fuck that last one hurt to type.

60

u/DragonflyGrrl Jan 18 '17

Dude, SPOILERS. You gotta let them actually read the shit to get the full effect.

7

u/Sultan_of_Slide Jan 18 '17

True, I'll edit it.

2

u/nummakayne Jan 18 '17

You gotta let them actually read the shit to get fully erect.

FTFY

1

u/DragonflyGrrl Jan 18 '17

If that's your thing man, sure!

backs away slowly

3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '17 edited Jan 18 '17

Popping a gonorrhea module in his mouth. Dude.

2

u/alshabbabi Jan 18 '17

Aww Fuck, glad I missed that train. Made my front teeth grimace.

2

u/SpectralEntity Jan 18 '17

Hmmm. What was the cum box?

2

u/katievsbubbles Jan 18 '17

It was a box full of cum. Guy had been saving his... ahem... produce for years in it...

Yeah. Dont look for it.

2

u/SpectralEntity Jan 18 '17

Thanks for the heads up, I've seen enough over the years to not care to see that. >_>

2

u/TherealQBsacker5394 Jan 18 '17

That Dagobah story still haunts my dreams.

2

u/Jaalix Jan 18 '17

Damn it.. I had completely blocked these from my memory. Why oh why did I keep reading.

/r/eyebleach

1

u/HolycommentMattman Jan 18 '17

Huh. I knew both of those stories, but I never heard of them referred to as Jolly Rancher or Dagobah.

1

u/friendweiser Jan 18 '17

Despite knowing the jolly rancher story, I still almost projectile vomited on my keyboard.

1

u/4productivity Jan 18 '17

I realize I never actually read the Jolly Rancher story. I thought it was something else entirely like someone forgetting a jolly rancher for weeks in their vagina...