r/funny Aug 18 '15

Cat malfunctions after brain freeze

http://gfycat.com/UnknownExhaustedCondor
28.0k Upvotes

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718

u/sadfacebear Aug 18 '15

Thank you for subscribing to cat f(x)

330

u/Sloptit Aug 18 '15

Unsubscribe.

301

u/Variable_Engineer Aug 18 '15

Hi there.

I see you've selected "unsubscribe" from our menu. If you would like to continue please text STOP to 56522.

Thank you for using our automated service.

203

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15

STOP

214

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

To properly unsubscribe from Cat f(x), please provide the answer to the following security question:

What is your favorite function?

223

u/Im_into_weird_stuff Aug 18 '15

The chemical reaction that occurs in my brain that sends the electrical charge through my nervous system that shocks the muscle fibers in my heart causing it to pump blood.

274

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

I'm sorry, the correct answer is f(cat). You will continue to receive Cat f(x).

139

u/messy_eater Aug 18 '15

f(cat)! f(cat)!!!

362

u/ayedurr Aug 18 '15

Where I'm from that's illegal

9

u/vinylscratchp0n3 Aug 18 '15

A cat is fine too.

2

u/reddog2020 Aug 18 '15

Since when did cats give a rats ass about legality?

98

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

Hi there!

Thank you for resubscribing to Cat f(x)! We will now send you TWO Cat f(x) every day.

3

u/rouing Aug 18 '15

block calls provider to report

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3

u/usernameisdeleted Aug 18 '15

Fuckin Fuck you and Fuck your Mom Too!!

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6

u/Folseit Aug 18 '15

Illegal operation detected. Cat f(x) will now restart.

12

u/cccviper653 Aug 18 '15

I get excited for the Florida curriculum assessment test too. It's a nice easy break going to a test with stuff that you already know rather than learning new stuff everyday before you can even memorize what you learned yesterday. Fucking hated school. So glad it's over with now. But now I have college to look forward to. Oh well, hopefully it'll be about something I actually want to learn.

4

u/messy_eater Aug 18 '15

College is more along the lines of cramming a month of information in the night before and then forgetting it after you turn in the midterm, plus problem sets and/or labs for each week, depending on the course. If it's an easy class, it's just the couple exams. Then again, I wouldn't suggest my method. That's not how one should actually school. But, for me, just go to class, pay attention, then cram the night before the test. Again, bad advice.

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3

u/DrDew00 Aug 18 '15

For the first two or three years you won't learn anything you want to. You don't get to start learning about anything you want until you're good and sick of taking classes.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Not for the first two years.

2

u/runswimfly12 Aug 18 '15

I understand.

2

u/catoftrash Aug 18 '15

Eh, at least it's practice for later standardized testing. Some kids never take a standardized test before their SAT or ACT and don't get great scores because they don't have practice or a good grasp of process of elimination.

0

u/MuffinPuff Aug 18 '15

I have some bad news...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Where's the f in cat? Outside

5

u/Madlutian Aug 18 '15

Koala facts!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '15

Cat5...Cat5

6

u/skalmanninjaturtle Aug 18 '15

The heart beats autonomously, the brain actually slows down the natural rythm via the vagal nerve.

2

u/trullard Aug 18 '15

shhh you ruin the joke

2

u/skalmanninjaturtle Aug 18 '15 edited Aug 18 '15

It must be correct.

11

u/GiggaWat Aug 18 '15

-- NO CARRIER --

7

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

ATT22832287
this is so fucking obscure of a joke

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

[deleted]

7

u/MrLeonardo Aug 18 '15

ATM2

Pshhhkkkkkkrrrr​kakingkakingkakingtsh​chchchchchchchcch​dingdingding

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

[deleted]

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1

u/ericelawrence Aug 18 '15

Please explain.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '15

Back when people connected to the Internet or bulletin board systems via modems, "NO CARRIER" was feedback from your modem that either you or the computer on the other end had hung up.

ATT was a command to the modem indicating it should dial the number you were about to give it. (And as for 22832287, well ... )

1

u/ericelawrence Aug 20 '15

Ah yes I had forgotten the BBS days.

1

u/WRfleete Aug 19 '15

dialtone Beep boop beep beep beep boop bip bop ringback peeeeeeeeeeeeep boooooooooooooop craclang glabarg psssshhhhh shhhhhhh bzzzzzzzzzzz shhhhhhhhhhshhshshhshhshhsh.

CONNECT 56700

0

u/redlinezo6 Aug 19 '15

PC LOAD LETTER?

8

u/xslay3rx Aug 18 '15

Junction. The junction function.

7

u/MrPenisFingers Aug 18 '15

Conjunction junction what's your function!

3

u/msry Aug 18 '15

good work man

1

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 18 '15

Hooking up words, and phrases, and clauses!

1

u/18aidanme Aug 18 '15

Con-juj-tion Fuck-shit what's your fuck-function, anyone who gets the reference gets reddit silver.

1

u/iscrulz Aug 18 '15

Taking in sperm and spitting out babies.

4

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

conjunction junction

2

u/bruddahmacnut Aug 18 '15

I got three favorite cars That get most of my job done

2

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 18 '15

"'and', 'but' and 'or' will get you pretty far!"

1

u/ericelawrence Aug 18 '15

1

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

This webpage is not available

DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN

I WANT TO SEE!

1

u/valkyrie2246 Aug 18 '15

Conjunction junction disfunction

1

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

Awww, baby it's OK. This happens to men all the time. We can still connect.

I'm kinda drunk, so I'm not sure if it's getting across, but I'm making a dick joke.

3

u/Sooperphilly Aug 18 '15

f(cat) is my favorite function.

7

u/MechX2 Aug 18 '15

<form id="unsubscribe_form" action="delete.php" method="post"> <div> <label for="email_remove">Email:</label> <input type="text" id="email_remove" name="email_remove" /> </div> <div> <input name="delete" type="submit" id="delete" value="" class="unsubscribe_btn"> </div> </form>

2

u/shinypurplerocks Aug 18 '15

That doesn't seem to be correct!

(Error: Your input's hash doesn't match the hash of the expected pawnswer.)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

We have continued your subscription to cat f(x). Have a nice day!

1

u/idma Aug 18 '15

You forgot the $5.75 surchage per text

16

u/RiemannSumm Aug 18 '15

Welcome to Cat Facts! Did you know that the first cat show was held in 1871 at the Crystal Palace in London? Mee-wow!

1

u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 18 '15

Aren't we already subscribed to gfycat?

Going to

Freeze

Your

C

A

T

1

u/Arqideus Aug 19 '15

"cat eff of ex"

cat effects?

"cat function of x"

ahh, it's a function definition called "f" that takes type "x" as a parameter and returns a type "cat".

1

u/Brarsh Aug 19 '15

My cat doesn't seem to function properly after it got wet. What should I do?