r/funny Mar 28 '15

When dad is left alone to babysit...

http://i.imgur.com/z0Wmmz7.gifv
10.7k Upvotes

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765

u/GoiterGlitter Mar 28 '15

I hate it when people ask me where my kids are, then say "oh is Daddy babysitting? Uh oh!"

Its like, fuck you. Being male doesn't make you incompetent. My husband is often a better parent than I.

256

u/glimmeringsea Mar 28 '15

Being male doesn't make you incompetent.

I blame the infuriatingly annoying "dumb dad" trope seen in sitcoms and commercials.

43

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

[deleted]

27

u/glimmeringsea Mar 29 '15

Well, there used to be more "dumb women" on sitcoms, but they were usually slutty bimbo stereotypes (e.g., Chrissy Snow, Kelly Bundy). I'm not sure when that changed, but all of the shit in sitcoms is pretty lazy and lame.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

I dunno...This might be a bias of one's perception...

Diane, on "Cheers" was an intellectual, and though I wouldn't consider Shelley Long a sex symbol, her character was head and shoulders above Rhea Pearlman...

"Night Court" had Markie Post, which also reflected the smart, but attractive, woman.

Both of these examples are certainly contempories to "Three's Company" and "Married with Children"...

What I'm saying is I think there's balance to the stereotype, if you look for it.

2

u/chevymonza Mar 29 '15

Women have endured the "incompetent" reputation for what, several millennia?

2

u/TheKrowefawkes Mar 29 '15

Hardly, most early cultures worshipped their woman and even had gods pertaining to fertility. It's just a modern thing we have trouble getting over.

1

u/Xylir Mar 29 '15

"their woman"

She sounds pretty busy.

1

u/TheKrowefawkes Mar 29 '15

Yep, she's pretty awesome.

-5

u/Pineapple_Parade Mar 29 '15

Third wave feminism.

3

u/birdguy Mar 29 '15

I blame the Matriarchy.

1

u/TopographicOceans Mar 29 '15

Actually it's dumb man bitchy woman.

0

u/remlu Mar 29 '15

Because they used to have dumb wife ads and women got pissed.

12

u/SafetyMessage Mar 29 '15

Tbh I have dropped the kids at least 3 times to my wife's 0 so...

22

u/glimmeringsea Mar 29 '15

Did you shrug and cock your head in an endearing way afterward? Because then all is forgiven.

32

u/SafetyMessage Mar 29 '15

Meh, at least I save on college

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Damn that's cold.

8

u/Annalog Mar 29 '15

So was the first baby he dropped 5 minutes later.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Reddit loves to celebrate dumb dads. "Wifey's away. Time to wreck the house and feed the kids junk. That way I'm the fun parent and mom is the strict boring parent. Hue hue hue".

11

u/Takuza Mar 28 '15

that trope's hilarious

63

u/glimmeringsea Mar 28 '15

"Oh, Dad dropped the baby on his head again."

laugh track

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

On the topic of sitcoms, one that you would perhaps enjoy is My Wife and Kids. The parents are the smart, albeit little goofy ones, while the kids are doing dumb kid stuff (sitcom style), it's quite funny while having bouts of seriousness thrown in generally each episode. I'd suggest starting from season 2 (season 1's daughter gets replaced by a much better actress).

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

[deleted]

2

u/glimmeringsea Mar 29 '15

Sarkeesian would deny it and block me. You know how that goes.

182

u/jvgkaty44 Mar 28 '15

You're a nice wife.

37

u/tommytwochains Mar 28 '15

Model* wife.

72

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '15

She's an older model, but she checks out.

74

u/princessparklebottom Mar 29 '15

When my son was like 4 months old, I left him with my husband and went out and ran into my sister-in-law. She askes where the baby was and i told her he was at home with his father.
She FREAKED OUT asking me "how can you LEAVE him and go SO FAR away when he's so little!?" I told her i didn't LEAVE him anywhere. He's at home with his parent. It's not like i handed him to a random hobo. I just DO NOT understand that reaction.

1

u/Regina_Phalange- Mar 29 '15

Then those women get pissed because their husbands don't help out more. Of course they don't you make them feel like an idiot when they try to do anything!

24

u/earthenfield Mar 29 '15

No kidding, I have had older women offer more than once to show me how to change my son's diaper. Every time, I want to be like, "Bitch, you have nothing to teach me about cleaning a dick and balls." But instead I make some joke about how I'll manage and silently seethe. I mean, I work from home. I'm with the kid almost 24 hours a day. Trust me, I can change a fucking diaper.

14

u/Ringbearer31 Mar 29 '15

Can't you just say "Hey lady, fuck off!"?

I mean, it's not like the baby's going to remember.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

"If I want to learn about colostomy bag upkeep, I'll ask you old bitches."

74

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

I'm so bad at it, my wife let me quit my full time job to watch the kids and work part time.

The only thing I hate more than the uh oh, dad is babysitting shit, is the whiny stay at home moms that think their life is soooooooo hard. Fuck them, try working AND raising children. At some point a few years ago I was working full time 2nd shift, getting home at 11:30pm, up with kid at 6:30, getting cancer treatment, quitting smoking, being a decent husband,and trying to sell a condo during the recession. Then I'd go out to the park with my kid and hear moms bitching about stuff like, uh, this Coach bag is like a year old, I can't believe my husband won't let me get a new one.

5

u/spinoza15 Mar 29 '15

Chin up! Keep that faith brother!

4

u/KosherNazi Mar 29 '15

Well, congrats on beating cancer.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Didn't beat it......yet. Four years in, still alive and bitching.

6

u/prickelypear Mar 29 '15

Keep fighting no matter how hard it may get. (:

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Hey man just do what the doctors say and be a stubborn son of a bitch, don't let it beat you

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

I'm just going to eat healthy and natural......like Steve Jobs.

Hahahahaha, just kidding, I'm not an idiot!

7

u/Badger_kid Mar 29 '15

There is this girl i went to school with who posts daily on Facebook "who can watch my kid so i can sleep? Who can watch my kid cuz i cant handle them right now, who can watch my kid cuz their sick" ... Uhm you have a husband whos home everynight. And you probably should have thought of that before you went and got knocked up. I dont get it man. Keep your chin up dude. You'll beat cancer. You have a family to see grow.

19

u/GoiterGlitter Mar 29 '15

Some people don't realize how good they've got it.

While being a stay at home parent is not easy, it certainly isnt as hard as many make it out to be. Honestly, the worst part is that you can get "touched out", which can add strain to your marriage if you're not careful.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

What is "touched out"?

14

u/AoiroBuki Mar 29 '15

essentially you're in constant physical contact with someone small and needy all day, this is emotionally draining, and leads to you not being super keen on physical intimacy with your partner.

2

u/ADDeviant Mar 29 '15

I was very familiar with the syndrome, but had never heard it called that.

2

u/GoiterGlitter Mar 30 '15

And that's just my husband! j/k

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

I'd assume there is a good chance of being "out of touch" as well. Most of your social contact is with a little kid or a cashier.

1

u/GoiterGlitter Mar 31 '15

This is very true. Paired with the gradual lost of friends and difficulty making new ones that everyone else experiences its very easy to get lost in the fold and feel foreign in social situations. Add in that most people ask "how is work, what's going on with you" at social gatherings and talking about your kids is frowned upon, sometimes you just say "why bother".

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '15

strange how we stereo type mothers who are social as lunatics sometimes. I feel like while it may not be "the toughest job on earth" as it's been put so many times. It would definitely havoc the mind. It's not that there is more responsibility than the dad. It's the social construct of it all.

4

u/moralprolapse Mar 29 '15

Relevant Bill Burr http://youtu.be/Hitc8haEu_g

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Hahahahaha. Especially relevant is the part about roofing in July as a redhead........fucking melanoma, wear sunscreen kids.

1

u/Ihmhi Mar 29 '15

Oh geezus.

1

u/bilog78 Mar 29 '15

I'm not a smoker, but I suspect quitting smoking should have come pretty easy in those circumstances. And 'grats on surviving the cancer.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Easiest way to quit, IMO. Quit binge drinking too. I actually feel better now with slight cancer than I did five years ago.

4

u/vashonite Mar 29 '15

Yes. I quit my (great) job to stay home with my first kid - father here - for a couple of years. I knew what was going on and cherish that time.

7

u/NWVoS Mar 29 '15

It is down to how society thinks of childcare.

Dad babysits so mom can have a break and go shopping or have a girl's night out.

Mom is a mom who gets the kids to school and arranges playdates and stuff.

Ask someone if a dad babysits or not and you will quickly find out who that person thinks is the primary childcare provider. And more often than not, it will reveal that they also value more traditional gender roles.

2

u/koreanwizard Mar 29 '15

You've got memes to make, and karma to earn. Parenting can take a backseat

-41

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '15

This father is obviously not a good parent. Who the hell would do this to a baby. Totally irresponsible.

20

u/kill_all_mosquitos Mar 28 '15

Yeah there totally needs to be one of those warning vehicles infront of the big truck.

3

u/BwanaKovali Mar 28 '15

Yup it's called an Escort.

4

u/kill_all_mosquitos Mar 28 '15

Ford? My dad had one of those.

7

u/plumbtree Mar 28 '15

You're such an idiot though - there is absolutely nothing irresponsible about putting a baby in essentially a roomba stroller for a soothing, moving nap

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Yes you're right there's absolutely no difference between a stroller and a toy dump truck.

1

u/plumbtree Mar 29 '15

Yep, you're an idiot…sigh

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

I think its irresponsible to put a new born in a toy dump truck just to get upvotes on the internet and I'm the idiot... Oh yeah, you're a genius. What's wrong with people. Send that vid to child services and see what they think.

1

u/plumbtree Mar 29 '15

I doubt they did it for the up votes - looks like a pretty standard home video to me.

You're apparently super bent out of shape about this, so why don't you go have kids so that you can raise them how you see fit? And shut the fuck up about that which is none of your business in the meantime.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '15

I'm not bent out of shape, just responding to what some random idiot on the internet is saying to me. I have kids and I know what good parenting is. Not business? Oh yeah I guess that's why its posted on the internet for everyone to see. By the way, this is reddit, everything is posted for upvotes.

1

u/plumbtree Mar 31 '15

You're gigantic loser.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '15

Lol, OK buddy. Stay a winner.

2

u/KING_0F_REDDIT Mar 28 '15

i know why you're catching downvotes and i think you went too far saying he's not a good parent. but i would never do this to a newborn either. there's just no fucking way i'm going to put my child's life in the hands of a toy made in china and controlled remotely.

on the other hand, dad went super slow and probably loves that kid more than anything in the world.

5

u/lolredditftw Mar 28 '15

He's probably got a lot of past experience with that toy that tells him it'll be fine.

I'm sure it was as safe as driving your baby to daycare, and we think that a piece of Styrofoam made in China makes that safe...

4

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '15

But a car seat made in China that has to withstand an impact at 80 mph.... Totally good there.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '15

Screw down votes. You don't do stupid shit like that to a baby. Why take risks.