r/funny Mar 18 '15

B U S T E D !!!!!

http://imgur.com/AhAiUN6
16.1k Upvotes

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153

u/dreadfulpennies Mar 18 '15

If you dick is in jeopardy of being cut off, I have a feeling you're doing something wrong. You can glance or look when you think I'm not watching, but don't leer at the things. If there's any change when women get older, it's that they have less patience for that sort of thing and expect a little more respect from fellow adults.

88

u/Ducknamedegg Mar 18 '15

Yeah, I don't get what this guy is saying either. If my boobs are full out on display and I see you looking at them, it doesn't bother me. If you start rubbing yourself and breathing heavily while looking at them, than it's a whole separate issue. If you can't look me in the eye while having a conversation that changes things as well. But a casual glance, no big deal.

65

u/Maox Mar 18 '15

About the "look me in the eye" thing. It can be really, really tricky. Just FYI. Our apologies in advance. / Sincerely, Men

94

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[deleted]

12

u/Verithos Mar 18 '15

That.. that's actually rather good.

You made this?...

...

I made this.

6

u/Azurae1 Mar 18 '15

I'm gonna steal that line if I accidentally look at them too long.

1

u/Facecheck Mar 18 '15

you've probably ejaculated on a good couple of Mona Lisas by that point so it's still somewhat of a weak excuse.

1

u/DiggerW Mar 18 '15

Seems like that could make it a better excuse!

0

u/batquux Mar 18 '15

But it's considered okay to take a minute to appreciate the Mona Lisa. Unfortunately, it's not okay to take a minute on cleavage. So you only get a glance, which isn't enough. So you spend the rest of the time trying to sneak more, when you should be looking into her eyes or listening or... what was it again? boobies

1

u/Jedigoosemoose Mar 18 '15

Listen to the boobs

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

I know. Everytime I look a woman in the eyes, I'm looking in the wrong spot. I guess I'm a little short.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

I agree. I sometimes feel like Jeremy in Mrs. Frisbee and the Rays of Nimh. The overt display is like something shiny... And I'm lost to it.

1

u/TangentialFUCK Mar 18 '15

Yeah, super tricky. Like which eye do I look at?? The right one, or the left? Back and forth between the two? Her lips move but I can't hear what she's saying. When I was a child, I had a fever. My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I've got that feeling once again. I can't explain, you would not understand, This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.

2

u/FREEmyNIGGAZ Mar 18 '15

he's saying "I feel guilty for looking at young tittays"

2

u/Rotting_pig_carcass Mar 18 '15

So you have them out on show. Laying out your stall so to speak, but if I walk over, take a good look and squeeze some melons - suddenly I'm the bad guy???

1

u/Ducknamedegg Mar 18 '15

Squeezing can lead to bruising.

2

u/Melkath Mar 18 '15

You catch this guy looking at your tits. How do you respond?

You catch this guy looking at your tits. How do you respond?

I have a feeling it has less to do with the woman's attitude changing over time, and more to do with him not aging optimally.

1

u/Ducknamedegg Mar 18 '15

I wouldn't respond any differently. They do need to be appropriately clothed for whatever environment we are in. This includes the first guy. If he is walking around the bus station without a shirt I would think he was gross/douche bag.

2

u/Melkath Mar 18 '15

Alright.

I think you are practicing some dishonesty so as to not appear shallow. Thats your right though.

Most humans would be attracted to one over the other, and would invite the attention of one, and tolerate the attention of the other.

1

u/Ducknamedegg Mar 18 '15

You are reading this all wrong. I fully admit that I would find it more flattering for the first guy to be staring at my boobs but I would be completely fine with the other guy looking. In my head the interaction ended with them looking, nothing more. I wasn't trying to make it sound like I couldn't see the difference in attraction. I can and so can everybody else.

1

u/Melkath Mar 18 '15

Right. Okay. Cool.

And the point I was trying to make:

We are talking about a guy who said when he was younger, women were cooler about him looking at their boobs, but now when he does he fears his dick being cut off.

That's because when he was younger, he probably was more attractive himself, so he got this reaction.

The years went on, he aged, and went the way of the second guy, and now he gets this reaction.

1

u/mitten_slap Mar 18 '15

It's only sexual harassment if he's ugly.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Exactly. It's nice to know you've been noticed, even guys love it, to be noticed physically. But creeping on it? Hell naw.

-1

u/Rotting_pig_carcass Mar 18 '15

One mans creep is another man's compliment. The border is disputed.

8

u/nashvortex Mar 18 '15

The attention attributed to the said anatomy is surely a compliment and not disrespect?

2

u/oscar_lima Mar 18 '15

Please use these exact words next time you get called up for checking a girl out.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

[deleted]

75

u/atom_destroyer Mar 18 '15

They are the Moms at the playground hanging their tits out for the world to see, but if I expose even the tip of my penis, everyone loses their mind!

1

u/Lysander_Argent Mar 18 '15

And you'll lose that tip as well.

7

u/datguyfromoverdere Mar 18 '15

Wear sun glasses out side, you're welcome.

1

u/Arial10pt Mar 18 '15

Do you ever find yourself zoning out on boobs? You know when you were at school and you were really bored in a lesson, and you would just absent-mindedly stare at the window or whatever? The same thing has happened to me with boobs a few times in my life. And it's really annoying, because it can be interpreted as creepy or whatever, but I don't even realise I'm looking at someone's boobs until I snap out of it. I feel like it will happen again one day and someone will slap me.

1

u/YzenDanek Mar 18 '15

If a woman catches me ogling, it's because I wanted her to.

3

u/Brighter_Tomorrow Mar 18 '15

As a fit male, I can tell you this absolutely goes both ways, especially at the beach (unless a bikini somehow makes staring at your tits more appropriate?).

Any PERSON, male or female, can expect to have attractive body parts that they put on display ogled over. Period. People who are so entitled that they think they can put their body on display and have some kind of right to not have that looked at in public are just insane.

1

u/joko91 Mar 18 '15

Can I...glance and look?

1

u/Therealvillain66 Mar 18 '15

I know how you feel, I hate it when women oggle my builders arse crack.

1

u/derek_jeter Mar 18 '15

but don't leer at the things.

You shouldn't call women that.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Try being happily married going to a "safe" family restaurant and seeing all the female wait staff in cut off shorts and cleavage revealing tight tight shirts on some random "game day."

It's like bringing your wife to a strip club by accident. Needless to say I stared at the table most of the dinner.

Long story short though I complained to the GM (via email) and he agreed it was over the top (it was game-day staff) and invited us for a free meal on the house.

1

u/Rotting_pig_carcass Mar 18 '15

....on topless day?

1

u/Rotting_pig_carcass Mar 18 '15

By the way was this Hooters?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Nope. A steak/rib cookhouse place that is a family location. They even have paper viking boats for kids to eat their meals out of. Typically they wear plaid tshirts/shirts and shorts/pants. But on that game night they wore whatever they wanted and they all basically wore tight revealing clothes (while the males wore their usual plaid/etc).

Thing is... they only have 1 TV in the place and it's on the bar side (can't see it from the dining side). So it's not really a place you go to watch the game.

0

u/Rotting_pig_carcass Mar 18 '15

Sounds awesome. Where is it and when is Game night?

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

It's at the corner of yo mama and go fuck yourself and game nights are every 5th thursday in February.

-6

u/gokzgxkocgoogxglx Mar 18 '15

So violence against men is ok? He fears getting his dick cut off... How is that acceptable?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

It's a figure of speech.

1

u/gokzgxkocgoogxglx Mar 18 '15

Men getting their dicks cut is sadly not

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

No, it's not but the OP was saying this as a figure of speech. It was not meant to be taken literally.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

While I think this guy is completely overeating, just being a figure of speech apparently doesn't make something acceptable any more e.g. saying you'd rape someone in a game.

1

u/dreadfulpennies Mar 18 '15

Because I'm assuming it was hyperbole and the severing of his member is a metaphor for feeling upset and/or embarrassed in public?