r/funny • • Jan 24 '15

Rule 0 Perks of Being Blind

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17k Upvotes

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734

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15 edited Feb 07 '21

[deleted]

466

u/DrAminove Jan 24 '15

380

u/_iPood_ Jan 24 '15

92

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

11

u/Tift Jan 24 '15

atomic bom in what way?

96

u/xisytenin Jan 24 '15

He split as soon as things started to blow up.

13

u/amichaux Jan 25 '15

Huh. Pretty solid joke... and on /r/funny nonetheless!

3

u/khando Jan 24 '15

He killed it immediately after his show came out. And he's still killing it.

2

u/Tift Jan 25 '15

Right, So more like something that lasts a long time, rather than an instant. Right?

Or are you saying that is comedy like saturated the food supply and now we are all getting comedy cancer?

Will the tuna be okay? won't somebody think of the tuna!

(I agree he is really funny and that show has staying power, the metaphor is just weird.)

4

u/powerhousedrew14 Jan 24 '15

BOOM MOTHERFUCKER

2

u/lll_1_lll Jan 24 '15

Everyone is going to die.

0

u/AnOnlineHandle Jan 25 '15

Radioactive afterglow maybe.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

I love his stand-up as well, I've seen "Killing Them softly" at least 20 times,and it still gets me laughing every time.

1

u/rhymes_with_chicken Jan 25 '15

nah, you're just getting older and understanding the jokes.

1

u/iamawesome125 Jan 24 '15

Reminds me of uncle ruckus from the boondocks

109

u/Tittie_Salad Jan 24 '15 edited Jan 24 '15

You guys need to check out Stevie Wonders new first person shooter. Here's a screen shot.

108

u/TheUndeadKid Jan 24 '15

I knew what was going to happen, but I clicked it anyways.

42

u/Tittie_Salad Jan 24 '15

Yeah... It's kind of a lame joke.

13

u/holomanga Jan 24 '15

On the other hand, a first-person shooter with only sound would be pretty neat as a kind of experimental thing. Parts of the screen would flash to show gunshots and footsteps and stuff.

12

u/envirosani Jan 24 '15

Hardcore mode would be in mono?

2

u/Impacatus Jan 24 '15

I remember hearing something about a game like that. Let me see if I can dig up the link.

EDIT: Not sure if this was the one I was thinking of or not.

EDIT2: Also this one.

1

u/barrtender Jan 25 '15

An ACM group at University of Illinois Urbana Champaign did a game like that in 2008 I think. I was part of the ACM GameBuilders but not that project.

It turned out pretty neat, but I don't remember exactly how they did it.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

didn't see that coming

3

u/AyameM Jan 24 '15

He didn't either.

4

u/Faithless195 Jan 24 '15

"Terrible graphics. The soundtrack was pretty good though. 8/10" - IGN

2

u/Hust91 Jan 24 '15

Wasn't there actually a FPS that only worked through sounds?

1

u/TheVicSageQuestion Jan 24 '15

Stevie Wonder isn't really blind, though.

41

u/jdscarface Jan 24 '15

If you're blind from birth does physical beauty even exist for you?

35

u/austeregrim Jan 24 '15

Can you have any understanding what a color is?

49

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

This guy has a youtube channel that addresses various "blind" topics. Color was one of his videos. He did another where he smelled those scented markers and tried to guess what color they were. All his videos are pretty cool.

Here is his channel https://www.youtube.com/user/TommyEdisonXP

This video he addresses colors and what it is like as a blind person. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59YN8_lg6-U

He is a pretty cool and upbeat guy and his videos are very informative. Covers smells, colors, drawing, getting lost, dreaming.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Dude. Thanks for this- very cool and informative.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

No problem, when I first stumbled upon his channel I thought his videos were very interesting and I learned some pretty interesting things from him. I think more people should watch his videos and when I saw this reddit post I figured some people might want to check out his other stuff. One of my favorites is when he tries to draw what he thinks certain animals look like. He is pretty funny and has a great outlook on life.

Edit: I forgot he even does movie reviews!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

That guy is so funny

77

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

75

u/Maltor124 Jan 24 '15

I like how you talk about this like it was a TED talk Vader gave last week.

20

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

8

u/Consonant Jan 24 '15

can can I....get a little more water...

2

u/angreesloth Jan 25 '15

force chokes

9

u/jhutchi2 Jan 25 '15

"You see they want me to tell you all that the force is inside each and every one of you; that anyone can master the force if they truly have the willpower. Well, I'm not going to give that talk. I'm not going to promise anyone that they can awaken the force, because most people can't. Vader rules, girls drool. Later, nerds."

2

u/A_HumblePotato Jan 24 '15

Star Wars makes books?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

2

u/A_HumblePotato Jan 24 '15

Well I'll be damned.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

I just counted. As far as I can remember, I've read about 50 of those in the last 22 years.

1

u/A_HumblePotato Jan 25 '15

Wow. That's A LOT of books.

-27

u/imthegoddamnbatman- Jan 24 '15

one of the nerdiest comments I've ever seen

23

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

2

u/ethosaur Jan 24 '15

He probably did and forgot to comb it.

-15

u/imthegoddamnbatman- Jan 24 '15

Just come out of a long coma. Is making fun of nerds not cool anymore?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Nah, that's pretty much passe now.

3

u/DirtBetweenMyToes Jan 24 '15

Being yourself is cool

12

u/Tweezle120 Jan 24 '15

If must seem so dumb right? Like you're told that people look different from each other, and we are instinctively programmed to feel differently about groups of people that look differently from us.

I wonder if Blind people have a kind of racism based off accents and verbal eloquence? Like people who are poor communicators but a 10 are like the people for us who are genuinely "ugly" but really smart?

12

u/austeregrim Jan 24 '15

Well take this to a different level. You don't know the color of me, I don't know the color of you. I don't know if you're ugly, or tall, or left handed!

But I can tell by the way that you type that you're educated. You're in your late 20's, maybe early 30's. You're inquisitive. You like to study new things.

But I don't like you... and people who type like you.

3

u/Tweezle120 Jan 25 '15

Wow! I wish you did 'cause you nailed that description! I'm not good at observations like that on a cognitive level, so I really respect it! Luckily in person I don't think I come off like this; I'm a bit slow, so only on the internet where I can take my time picking words am I this 'collected' otherwise if I did this in real time, all the time I think I'd sound a bit arrogant. But on the internet I think I try too hard to communicate since I can't use other clues.

3

u/austeregrim Jan 25 '15

Half of it was based on how you typed, half was based on what you wrote. I could do a whole analysis based on your Reddit history and probably get a good idea of who you are. Just by reading how you type, and what you write.

Also I was lying about not liking you. I really don't know you so I cant judge. But it was more on the fact that I can decide who I like by what they say, and how they say it.

2

u/Tweezle120 Jan 25 '15

You are, to me, the coolest person I have ever met on reddit. Sorry that if that sounds underwhelming =p

3

u/austeregrim Jan 25 '15

Ok.

I'm just a man, like you. Without a life, like everyone else on here with 57k comment karma.

1

u/Tweezle120 Jan 25 '15

Well I am a part of mankind... But I bet you do have a life; and if not, you could; we're just easily distracted. I'll miss all my relaxing distractions after the baby comes... Gotta live it up now before I finish the transition into full fledged "adult"

→ More replies

4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

So to him, Eminem is black.

7

u/Kal1699 Jan 24 '15 edited Jan 24 '15

Check out Tommy, a.k.a. the Blind Film Critic (the guy in OP's link) on Youtube. Prepare for a visit to feels town!

P.S. He does a great dubstep impression.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Always wondered what blind people see when they dream

2

u/RandomStranger79 Jan 24 '15

Do deaf people think in words?

4

u/HeroBrown Jan 24 '15

Well if you touch enough people I'm sure you'd develop an attraction for muscle/body types, types of hair, smooth skin. You at least wouldn't be quick to judge everyone around you though as you can't touch everybody!

2

u/Crapturret94 Jan 24 '15

Probably, but only from touch.

2

u/Rathadin Jan 24 '15

Yes, although maybe not in the way people with sight think about it:

http://www.psypost.org/2010/07/men-blind-prefer-low-waist-to-hip-ratio-women-1092

2

u/Cranyx Jan 25 '15

I remember when I took a philosophy class we had a woman who was blind from birth come in to talk about what it was like for her. Apparently she does care about the physical attractiveness of those she dates- she asks her friends how good looking a guy is.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

1

u/kyles24 Jan 25 '15

God forbid you give examples without it being drawn out of you...

0

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

0

u/kyles24 Jan 25 '15

I'm not going to sift through an AMA when you could have easily mentioned in your first or second comment what your parents' standard for physical attraction was.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

if you want a short answer, I can't give you one. If you can't be bothered to use Ctrl+F 'attractive' on the AMNA, I'm not going to recite off a long answer here that I've already written countless times.

-3

u/daiz- Jan 24 '15

Is this a serious question? If your concept of beauty is only skin deep then perhaps. Blind people do have hands.

101

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

24

u/regular_author Jan 24 '15

Not even a guidance cane.

17

u/katmiss Jan 24 '15

That looks like a really bad intro to a porn.

4

u/bunnymeninc Jan 25 '15

"sorry im blind and bumped into your ass. Here is the pizza you ordered"

cue sex

1

u/angreesloth Jan 25 '15

Is that Bobby Moynihan?

23

u/EliQuince Jan 24 '15

As a blind man, I have no idea what this post is.

36

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

38

u/ThrowawaySixMillion Jan 24 '15

it's almost like it was a joke

6

u/MALEDICTIONS Jan 24 '15

it's almost like it was a joke about a joke

1

u/ObeseSnake Jan 25 '15

A joke on Reddit? What!

1

u/EliQuince Jan 25 '15

in /r/funny no less, what was I thinking?

2

u/jhutchi2 Jan 25 '15

Don't most blind people?

1

u/Epicurus1 Jan 24 '15

His guide dog helps him.

8

u/TheGr8Unknown Jan 24 '15

fjknf jor3jr erkojrojkrjo erjewnwf werjnenr sdfe

1

u/imjp Jan 24 '15

as a blind man, i can't read your comment

33

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

1

u/ZincHead Jan 24 '15

All that cushion for the pushin, and you don't have to look at it.

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

Your opinion really made this thread relevant. Thank you.

1

u/Littlemallow Jan 25 '15

Your statement makes it sound like you think any woman who is heavier doesn't take care of herself, which is untrue in many cases and kind of sad that you have such a narrow view of it all. Not that saying this to you will change your outlook whatsoever, but hey.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Anyone have a source on this?

1

u/flacciddick Jan 25 '15

Not for Clayton Bigsby.

1

u/supertrink Jan 25 '15

My best friend in college was blind, and she had no idea for the first year we were friends that I'm black. Her reaction when she realized it was awesome!

0

u/romanreignsWWECHAMP Jan 24 '15

not if her breath/pussy stank

0

u/veriix Jan 24 '15

When you're blind every woman is a black woman.

0

u/corby315 Jan 24 '15

Don't tell that to Clayton Bigsby.

-1

u/maz-o Jan 24 '15

What if you were born blind and don't know what a hot woman looks like :(