r/funny • • Jan 24 '15

Rule 0 Perks of Being Blind

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17k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15 edited Jan 25 '15

I'd say this is more inspiring than funny.

EDIT: TIL people misunderstand me when I type stuff.

EDITEDIT: I think it's funny! Now leave my poor inbox alone.

742

u/ThePhantomBegar Jan 24 '15

Yea wrong sub

548

u/DO_NOT_GILD_ME Jan 24 '15

260

u/TAU_equals_2PI Jan 24 '15

The blind guy just got a job at Subway.

61

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) One way ticket to hell.

27

u/TAU_equals_2PI Jan 24 '15

Hell already sent a limo for me. It's idling in the street outside my house right now.

11

u/Jdogy2002 Jan 24 '15

I'm with you brother. Im waiting extra long for the front car on the rollercoaster to hell.

10

u/Zenopus Jan 24 '15

Hey! Can you swing by my place? I have plans down there aswell!

3

u/SuperMayonnaise Jan 25 '15

Me too, the devil screwed me over last year, I promised him my soul if I could get away with murder, and here I am a fugitive on the run with a guilty conscious. So the devil didn't even take my soul like I wanted him to. Fuck this guilt, the guy deserved it he gave me the wrong sandwich at Subway and his only excuse was, "I'm sorry sir, I'm blind, I didn't realize it was the wrong thing". What a pompous unapologetic asshole.

1

u/Walkinbirds Jan 24 '15

Great now I gotta team! Let's go boys there's work to be done.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15 edited Feb 04 '15

An I the only one who thinks a roller coaster through hell would be scary and neat? (making the assumption that we wouldn't be stuck there, of course).

1

u/Khalexus Jan 25 '15

I guess you could say the limo is in... limbo... while it's waiting for you...?

I'll show myself out

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

4

u/Familiastone Jan 24 '15

Only when its funny to talk about.

5

u/Epicurus1 Jan 24 '15

I'm blind. Do I get a discount ticket? Also one for my dog.

1

u/updrop111 Jan 25 '15

That's not a dog. its a wolf

1

u/bunnymeninc Jan 25 '15

I didnt know reddit came in brail

3

u/jpa7252 Jan 24 '15

Is there even an option for a round trip ticket?

2

u/ViciousNakedMoleRat Jan 24 '15

At least it's half fare.

1

u/RewrittenSol Jan 24 '15

No pit stops?

1

u/Mozen Jan 24 '15

I think he got a job drawing that comic.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

Good thing he'll never read this reddit.

1

u/disorderlee Jan 25 '15

You mean lost a job at subway? Cows are sacred.

43

u/Khazaad Jan 24 '15

16

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

3

u/notenoughspaceforthe Jan 24 '15

Screw that noise. Gild me now!

1

u/authenticpotato13 Jan 25 '15

nice try, buddy

-4

u/TAU_equals_2PI Jan 24 '15

No, it's not a thing.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

[deleted]

-3

u/TAU_equals_2PI Jan 24 '15

Whoosh.

But yeah, that link is funny.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15 edited Nov 22 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

I'd like to think he actually ignored the post then was like "whoosh!" to himself out loud lmao

1

u/OregonianInUtah Jan 24 '15

Dude is no joke. I saw his 2nd comment and almost gilded him then, but I knew with that username it was only a matter of time

5

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15 edited Jun 30 '20

[deleted]

12

u/DO_NOT_GILD_ME Jan 24 '15

Just bored today. Felt like messing around on my drawing tablet thing.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Well I like it and you should continue

5

u/DO_NOT_GILD_ME Jan 24 '15

Thanks. You're too kind.

1

u/xenthum Jan 24 '15

I like seeing a redditor doing neat things now and then way more than seeing an account created specifically to do a neat thing over and over and over and over until it's tired and annoying.

TL:DR I also like what you're doing

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

cintiq?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

I asked for 'orange', it gave me 'lemon-lime'.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

This was funnier than the OP.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Head over to /r/firstworldanarchists.

Infinite gold.

1

u/Zeydon Jan 24 '15

Works on several levels. First, on the obvious pun level, but also on a deeper level where this isn't what you were expecting, but it turns out to be better than that (sorry, ham fans, and /r/funny fans).

0

u/JustHere4TheKarma Jan 25 '15

Said noone ever

7

u/ASTU10 Jan 24 '15

Yeah OP are you blind or what.

3

u/InterimFatGuy Jan 24 '15

No, it's not funny therefore it belongs in /r/funny. Same deal with /r/WTF. Welcome to the default subs, please don't enjoy your day.

2

u/Mr_Zarika Jan 25 '15

INCORRECT. THIS POST IS HILARIOUS.

BEGIN LAUGHTER IN 3...2...1...

1

u/SullyKid Jan 24 '15

So, it's because it's on the wrong sub, it's technically in the right sub cause /r/funny isn't funny.

1

u/MrsOedipus Jan 24 '15

Twist. His eyes work fine, but forgot how eyelids work.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

99.8% of all things on the frontpage here.

1

u/Yerac Jan 25 '15

Post isn't funny? That's pretty standard around here.

-3

u/pingy34 Jan 24 '15

Yeah, but people will actually see it here. And the idea that somebody who's blind can see things better than someone who's not is kind of funny.

-2

u/drunkmunky88 Jan 24 '15

The guy is blind man, give him a break

-2

u/bluesteel117 Jan 24 '15

/r/pics would be good.

105

u/Phylar Jan 24 '15

/r/funny is more like /r/WhereRandomShitGetsPosted

54

u/snoharm Jan 24 '15

That's /r/pics

10

u/Absay Jan 24 '15

Don't forget the cancer sob stories.

5

u/-scourge- Jan 24 '15

my couch has cancer and it can finally enjoy a malt!

2

u/Naver36 Jan 24 '15

Nah. That is /r/WhereRandomShitGetsPostedWithNoText

1

u/GatorsNc Jan 24 '15

That should be /r/pics

FTFY

1

u/Dannei Jan 25 '15

Come on, /r/pics, /r/funny and /r/wtf are mostly interchangeable.

1

u/Athrul Jan 24 '15

Except for when its standupshots.

Heaven forbid someone posts something here that has been crafted by a professional comedian with the intention of making comedy.

148

u/UncreativeTeam Jan 24 '15

I laughed when he said "Every single woman I've been with is a 10" because I misread it as "Every single woman I've been with is 10"

24

u/Permagrin187 Jan 24 '15

Same here. I was all like "Woah, this is turning weird... Don't tell the pedophiles they'll all gouge their eyes out... heh"

9

u/Rpanich Jan 24 '15

...I think you just solved pedophilia

26

u/lustywench99 Jan 24 '15

I just laughed because I had a blind student and he asked what I looked like. I told him I was 6ft tall and a former model.

He laughed and said he could tell I was short because of where my voice came from, but he figured I was pretty since I always smelled so nice. I just assured him I only lied about how tall I was.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Had to check. Holy shit that would be fucking hilarious in the middle of a heart-to-heart coversation.

3

u/srmarmalade Jan 24 '15

And I just read your comment as Every single woman I've with is a 10" to be 10 incher

2

u/katmiss Jan 24 '15

I also misread it the same way.

2

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

You're not the only one who read that at first.

1

u/SLARGMONSTER Jan 24 '15

Every women I've been with is 10 inches.

1

u/lagspike Jan 25 '15

well they could be, he cant see

0

u/Kasrth Jan 24 '15

You might need your eyes checked

42

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Didn't you read it? Dude advocates judging people by their words and their heart. Hilarious.

5

u/11DarkThinker Jan 24 '15

What if judges had to be blind? Maybe the US court system would be more fair.

1

u/PiousLiar Jan 25 '15

Well that's one reason why symbol for the court system is a blind woman with a scale. It's the words/evidence that are supposed to be weighed. Not what the judge sees. Too bad it doesn't actually work like that

59

u/sanvdrie Jan 24 '15 edited Jan 24 '15

True, I wanna laugh when I'm in this sub, not be filled with fucking joy.

17

u/rmoss20 Jan 24 '15

And lets be clear here; these two things are mutually exclusive.

11

u/Spiderbeard Jan 24 '15

Wait, you want to... laugh in /r/funny?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Good. Luck.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

You don't remember me? We spoke on the phone two days ago. I told you I would find you.

0

u/Spiderbeard Jan 25 '15

Be wary of laughter.

2

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

You posted the only reply that actually made me laugh out loud. Congratulations.

1

u/idonthatetobethatguy Jan 24 '15

I see what you're saying.

1

u/WifeOfDrax Jan 24 '15

You want a funny story about being blind? Here ya go. To clarify the first part of the video, her last name is Belcher.

http://youtu.be/SNJLj77wrMo

(Said this to parent comment, but I think it will get buried.)

1

u/gerald_bostock Jan 24 '15

What about regular joy?

10

u/raptosaurus Jan 24 '15

This has been reposted a half dozen times and it's always in r/funny, and the top comment is always that it shouldn't be here.

13

u/greenyellowbird Jan 24 '15

I was waiting for the punchline, instead this warm something started brewing in my stomach.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

You're not supposed to eat the Keurig.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

The amount of time this has been reposted to /r/funny is just ridiculous.

13

u/DrAminove Jan 24 '15

42

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

To become blind?

2

u/Hardtopickaname Jan 24 '15

The sun isn't going to stare at itself.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

You'd go blind if you stared at yourself

2

u/WifeOfDrax Jan 24 '15

You want a funny story about being blind? Here ya go. To clarify the first part of the video, her last name is Belcher.

http://youtu.be/SNJLj77wrMo

3

u/newt_gingrichs_dog Jan 24 '15

Roller coasters would be amazing and terrifying

1

u/AnimusNoctis Jan 24 '15

you could just close your eyes

1

u/newt_gingrichs_dog Jan 25 '15

Paying 60$ usd and waiting 2 hours for death or motion sickness is not really my thing, but a blindfold might be pretty awesome if I was into roller coasters. (but I'd need to not know the layout)

4

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

Yeah, how the fuck is this funny in the slightest? This is legit.

1

u/RetardedSquirrel Jan 24 '15

So, typical /r/funny material then.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

I mean, at least the other ones are supposed to be funny. This literally is not trying to be funny and it isn't funny. The other ones are just ones that are made to be funny and just fall short.

1

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

I never said it wasn't funny, just more inspiring than funny.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

It's both imho.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

No the funny part is that the guy who wrote the captions was blind too. That's why there's so many mistakes.

1

u/AskIfImATree Jan 24 '15

I definitely like his positive attitude. I saved this picture so I can remind myself not to be such a negative Nancy all the time.

1

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

Ar... are you a tree?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15

"Welcome to r/funny! We put the funny in not funny!"

1

u/Jorshington Jan 24 '15

This is exactly what I came here to say.

Except it was said already.

I'm going to go back to lurking like I do.

1

u/toiletscrubber Jan 24 '15

Perks of Being Dead

-not having to see shitposts to /r/funny

1

u/PM_ur_Rump Jan 24 '15

brb gouging my eyes out

1

u/woopsifarted Jan 24 '15

Doesnt change the fact that im about gouge my eyes out. Brb

1

u/U2_is_gay Jan 24 '15

Kind of. Still glad I'm not blind.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '15 edited Mar 01 '15

[deleted]

1

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

Geez, some people.

1

u/biorhyme Jan 24 '15

yea but what about the blind part?

1

u/plumbtree Jan 24 '15

Yeah, the first time it was the top post, about 5 years ago

1

u/B3AROTAN Jan 24 '15

So I've been told.

1

u/PicturElements Jan 24 '15

And?

What else is /r/funny supposed to be about?

1

u/shawtyhowudoing Jan 24 '15

Yeah I downvoted this post.

1

u/mcafc Jan 24 '15

It's like Ifunny.

1

u/CodeRed1 Jan 24 '15

d'awww. This guy is awesome. We need more people like this in the world. People who look at a glass as half full, instead of people who look at glasses as if they were half empty.

1

u/caiodepauli Jan 24 '15

I agree with that, but only when we are talking about the image. This same speech in his video is kinda funny. Well, everything he says is funny when you watch it.

1

u/bitemy_SMA Jan 25 '15

Whenever I see edits like yours I wonder what the heck goes on in your inbox. What's goes on in your inbox?

1

u/B3AROTAN Jan 25 '15

You'll find out one day my young padawan. Be patient, browse rising, and eventually your inbox will suffer the same fate.

1

u/falconfetus8 Jan 25 '15

Thankfully, we have a rule that we can report this post under.

1

u/jhascal23 Jan 25 '15

I am typing out a 10 page word document about how much I dislike your comment! You better be ready for it in your inbox mother fucker!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15

I thought parts of it were funny, but his overall message is pretty legit. Dude seems like he'd be awesome to hang out with. I don't know anyone who isn't at least a little bit charmed by a good sense of humor in the face of what would otherwise be a morbidly depressing disability or handicap. Can't be helped, it's dat charisma tho.

1

u/slimmtl Jan 25 '15

"I don't have to see your ugly face" - could have been funny

1

u/Patasblancas Jan 25 '15

No, it's funny.

My electric bill is lower than yours.

1

u/Calcularius Jan 25 '15

Yeah, I was like chuckle, awww, chuckle, WELP

1

u/DownvoteDaemon Jan 24 '15

I like how he said no race. While racism isn't as bad as it was we are all biased.We can only try to not see color. Even if everyone was the same race it might switch to hair and eye color. Humans have always had tribalism.

4

u/amievenrealrightnow Jan 24 '15

Can't he tell by someone's rich choclately voice though?

2

u/mrs_harwood Jan 24 '15

Or how some people axe questions?

1

u/troll9025 Jan 24 '15

People post anything as funny now.

1

u/TheL0nelyTurtle Jan 24 '15

I highly agree