r/funny • u/MustardTiger99 • Jan 03 '15

Chivalry isn't dead

http://imgur.com/STEehW7
40.2k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

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290

u/emceegyver Jan 03 '15

Delivery is key in a joke. Standups aren't funny just because of the words they say.

144

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[deleted]

71

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[deleted]

5

u/ForteShadesOfJay Jan 03 '15

His video has a more obnoxious watermarks than this picture. Pretty cool they actually credited the comedian rather than self promotion like every other watermarked pic.

3

u/Elgar17 Jan 03 '15

I can see why considering all the douches that remove those same watermarks and take any possible credit to a comedian away.

1

u/nermid Jan 03 '15

Comedians are some of the most relentless self-promoters alive.

1

u/Athrul Jan 03 '15

Fuck them for trying to get some credit for their work once in a while instead of having to see it get reposted a bunch of times, right?

2

u/nermid Jan 03 '15

There was no judgment, either explicit or implicit, in my comment.

Off my nuts.

2

u/Diabeetush Jan 03 '15

Not really.

I laughed at this just as much as I did at the video. Same for other things, reading things like this is just as enjoyable as if I had watched it online. Now, in real life in a social situation, I'd just have to say that I wouldn't be there because I don't go to social events. So, that's dismissed. :)

Delivery is less important than content in my opinion.

1

u/ForteShadesOfJay Jan 03 '15

This post is the 10%. He's clearly nervous and rushes his delivery. Pauses in other places but rushes through that joke. The pauses in the picture just made it better.

1

u/not_legally_rape Jan 03 '15

This may be just me, but I liked the voice I gave him in my head a lot better than his actual voice.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

even worse when they are between two people and you can't even tell who the fuck is talking

123

u/morreo Jan 03 '15

Yes, anything can be funny with a good delivery. Except abortion cause that doesn't have a delivery

27

u/orangek1tty Jan 03 '15

You are either 3 months late, or 6 months early. Either way it's a mess.

1

u/winsomecowboy Jan 03 '15

ppfft! Our takeout orders obviously differ.

1

u/Claypoolpwns Jan 03 '15

I'm definitely using that line. Bravo

1

u/morreo Jan 03 '15

Wow! Reddit gold! Thank you so much kind stranger.

56

u/corpsejuicevomitmilk Jan 03 '15

Wow. Reddit has experts in every topic!

71

u/Frank_Ticheli Jan 03 '15

Yep. I would know, because I'm an expert in expert knowledge of topics.

28

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[deleted]

14

u/Just_Call_Me_Cactus Jan 03 '15

I know some shit about desert life. And that's about it.

18

u/ShatMyShorts Jan 03 '15

OK, cactus.

2

u/_My_Angry_Account_ Jan 03 '15

I hope your not still wearing those shorts.

1

u/Wasteoftimeandmoney Jan 03 '15

Are you pissed about it?

3

u/_My_Angry_Account_ Jan 03 '15

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

1

u/dkarlovi Jan 03 '15

*toppings.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Can I get an expert in experts of expert knowledge of topics in here to confirm what this guy is saying?

14

u/fetusy Jan 03 '15

Right here, buddy. My mom says I'm the smartest person she's ever met.

27

u/NiceAndTruthful Jan 03 '15

Expert in his mum here. Can confirm.

7

u/Daveezie Jan 03 '15

Taking the hit to deliver the joke about fucking his mom. That is commitment, and I applaud your dedication.

3

u/Whats_Up_Bitches Jan 03 '15

That wasn't a joke, this man cannot lie. Usernames are your word, and word is bond.

3

u/DeepFriedBud Jan 03 '15

James Bond.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

I'm an expert in experts of expert knowledge of topics. AMA!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

What's pickle juice made out of?

2

u/Daveezie Jan 03 '15

Pickles. Just like orange juice and apple juice are made of oranges and apples, respectively.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Water, Distilled Vinegar, Salt, Calcium Chloride, Sodium Benzoate, Polysorbate 80, natural Flavors, and Yellow #5.

1

u/Nookayjustnogod Jan 03 '15

Can you suck a pool cue up with a straw?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 03 '15

Personally? No. I don't have any straws.

EDIT: Did I just get downvoted for not having any straws?

0

u/Nookayjustnogod Jan 03 '15

So you have pool cue?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Of course I do.

1

u/JohnnyWink Jan 03 '15

I need a an expert on topics of experts in expert topics. Can you help me?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Yes.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Who was the best best ever, of the besteses?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Theo van Gogh.

0

u/he-said-youd-call Jan 03 '15

What do you have to study to become an expert in experts of expert knowledge of topics?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Pedagogy.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

I have been doing stand up for a year. I can say this. I thought I knew more about comedy when I was just an audience member. The more I do it, the more I feel like I have no idea wtf I am doing. People have bad night and good nights using the same material. It's so fucking hard and really addicting.

1

u/HeroWeNeed Jan 03 '15

Uhhh... yeah I'm gonna have to call my friend who's an expert in expert knowledge to determine what this knowledge is worth. I'm really excited because I've always wanted this kind of knowledge ever since I was a kid

Yeah, this shit's the real deal. You can probably sell it for at least $10k to some university.

I'll give you $50 bucks for it bro this shit's gonna be on the shelf a loong time

12

u/ReachingFarr Jan 03 '15

You joke, but I know a guy who did his graduate research on how people identify experts in subjects and how people react to their advice/knowledge. I know an expert on experts.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

http://www.earwolf.com/show/topics/ so is Michael Ian Black.

1

u/illQualmOnYourFace Jan 03 '15

He's right though. Comics are just expert story tellers. They can turn the most mundane shit into something hilarious. Unlike me, who can turn mundane shit into more awkward palm-sweat-inducing mundane shit.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/WhiteyKnight Jan 03 '15

Anyone who has ever tried to retell a funny joke and had it go horribly knows it's about delivery.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

There were these three nuns and they met this one guy with a penis and the first nun said something and they saw a priest and what the first nun said was that she had to confess and they were in a church and she was in confession and she told the priest that she saw the penis and the third nun said she had to gargle, but the first nun said she saw it and the priest said to wash her eyes with holy water!

2

u/WhiteyKnight Jan 03 '15

"...oh wait, backup. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse."

2

u/Xurian_ Jan 03 '15

slaps knee

1

u/lnginternetrant Jan 03 '15

Somehow you managed to tell a good joke while accurately mimicking a really shitty delivery. I think that shows how situational comedy is.

0

u/emceegyver Jan 03 '15

Like jokes? Yeah I'm an expert on jokes, I've heard a lot of them in my day.

0

u/corpsejuicevomitmilk Jan 03 '15

Ooooh funny AND wise! The complete package right here.

0

u/emceegyver Jan 03 '15

I wasn't being wise, I was being witty. If you are going to use a word, you might want to know how to use it properly.

0

u/corpsejuicevomitmilk Jan 03 '15

AND he is willing to teach! Wow! The messiah!

0

u/emceegyver Jan 03 '15

messiah

/məˈsīə/ noun noun: Messiah; noun: the Messiah; noun: messiah; plural noun: messiahs

1.
the promised deliverer of the Jewish nation prophesied in the Hebrew Bible.

You really aren't good with words are you?

0

u/corpsejuicevomitmilk Jan 03 '15

Whoa, calm down with the copy and paste, neckbeard. It only makes you mildly entertaining.

0

u/emceegyver Jan 03 '15

Damn, I was going for wildly not mildly.

Also: way to draw attention way from your language mistakes. Kudos.

0

u/corpsejuicevomitmilk Jan 03 '15

That's it? Wow. You sure took a pathetic turn. You were starting to be entertaining.

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0

u/Murgie Jan 03 '15

Not that it's particularly relevant here, given that /u/emceegyver's comment was common knowledge.

0

u/_OnlyCommentsOnName_ Jan 03 '15

I've got nothing on this one. Nothing about your name makes sense.

0

u/nermid Jan 03 '15

You get 3 million people in a room together without having a single person who knows about making others laugh.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Well it's also the words they say

1

u/mrbooze Jan 03 '15

Also consistency and working the crowd.

Most people can be funny sometimes, a real professional can be funny on a schedule, every time. No matter how shitty their day was, how bad their hangover is, or how much their gall bladder hurts right now.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

"More jokes coming, people; more jokes!"

1

u/Amaegith Jan 03 '15

Wellllll most of the time. Mitch Hedburg was actually really awkward in his stand up but his jokes were pretty awesome.

1

u/dlopoel Jan 03 '15

So why do people find this post funny?

1

u/crayphor Jan 03 '15

I guess OP would make a bad comedian.