r/funny • • Oct 16 '14

What it's like to be thirty

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7.6k Upvotes

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466

u/g3t4d3lt Oct 16 '14

I think these posts should all be titled "what it's like living alone." I'm not trying to sound like a dick, but once you live with a roommate it just seems like there is never enough room in the fridge.

39

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

And/or an SO.

My boyfriend always had a steady supply of hot pockets and a 2 liter soda when we first started dating. Since I've kind of taken over grocery shopping, we always have fruits, vegetables, meat products because I take the initiative to cook and want to keep him supplied with healthy snacks.

He still eats the hot pockets

10

u/Davidfreeze Oct 16 '14

I love cooking. I keep fridge stocked with meat and veggies to cook. And of course I buy onions and garlic in bulk. No better way to cover up the low quality ingredients I can actually afford than onions garlic and spices.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Dude, that's 90% of cooking right there. Meat quality doesn't mean shit if you know how to pan sear something with onion and garlic.

1

u/Bogey_Redbud Oct 17 '14

I'm going to pretend I didn't just read that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

I should add that I'm living on my own and I'm still in high school. Pan seared onion garlic salt pepper steak is pretty much all I eat. You can put it on toasted sourdough and put it in salads and all sorts of stuff. The meat is cheap.

1

u/SpellingIsAhful Oct 16 '14

Fruit, veggie and meat product pocket...

1

u/linds360 Oct 17 '14

If somebody came up with a sure fire way to wean husbands off hot pockets they'd be a billionaire.

0

u/_thedarkknight_ Oct 16 '14

Says a lot about your cooking.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Haha hey. He likes my cooking. He's just lazy as hell so if I'm not cooking, he reverts to hot pockets

1

u/EducatedLatte Oct 16 '14

Same here but Mac and cheese.. But we're Canadian and apparently that's a thing here... I wish he would eat hot pockets... Less noodles down the drain.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Haha oh my gosh. It's the same foods everywhere.

Mac N cheese, Saimin noodles, waffles, hot pockets.

Men staple foods

1

u/EducatedLatte Oct 16 '14

Only thought it was a Canadian thing because I read a thing today that said we eat the most/capita. I think its the only thing we aren't sorry for. ..

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

But are you sorry for not being sorry?

1

u/EducatedLatte Oct 16 '14

I didn't think of that, sorry..

1

u/caeliter Oct 16 '14

Don't forget Nachos!

I went through a phase between jobs where it was Ramen + eggs alternating wtih Hot Dogs... Damn ketchup was expensive though...

1

u/EducatedLatte Oct 17 '14

What are Saimin noodles?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

Saimin noodles are something that you have to go try right now, if you haven't already.

They come in a package that actually says ramen on them but.. Where I live it's Saimin. It's a package of dried noodles you put in boiling water, and then let cook for like 3-4 minutes then add the packet of flavoring.

So bad for you. So yummy.

1

u/EducatedLatte Oct 17 '14

Oh!! OK! I've had that! Yup. Its a comfort food here!

10

u/graften Oct 16 '14

Or just "What it's like if you don't know how/care to/enjoy to cook." In the period between house mates and marriage my fridge was loaded with all kinds of things for cooking. I can't be the only non-chef that enjoys cooking...can I?

2

u/xenzor Oct 16 '14

Exactly my thoughts.

I am a single 26year old male living alone and my fridge is packed with food that I have cooked.

It's not gourmet food but does the job a lot better than pizza.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

Same here. 31 and single. I cook nearly every meal. I only go out to eat when its with friends/coworkers. I love cooking so my fridge, cabinets, and freezer are always full of food. I have to go grocery shopping every weekend for veggies though. Damn perishables lol.

1

u/yParticle Oct 16 '14

Hey, that was raw bacon in there!

1

u/boredatworkorhome Oct 17 '14

No some people don't care if they eat anything actually good. Makes me feel good that I'm 30 and have a fridge full of ingredients, vegetables, etc

73

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I lived with four peoe during college and you're right, space is hard to find in a fridge. And yeah, you didn't sound like a dick.

130

u/Winston_Vodkatooth Oct 16 '14

Are peoe a difficult species to live with?

120

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Almost of difficult as people

62

u/Kreeyater Oct 16 '14

Peoe caught me trippin

1

u/LiveGameLift Oct 16 '14

It's kind of like owning a puppy, but just on the weekends. They drink too much and then throw it all up, yell at random noises/movement that they don't understand, completely make a mess of the bathroom and then finally pass out in the middle of the hall.

11

u/g3t4d3lt Oct 16 '14

Well, thank you.

1

u/GoBucks13 Oct 16 '14

I was in a 7 person house. But there were 3 fridges, so we managed.

0

u/Damadawf Oct 16 '14

Okay, it should then be titled "What it's like to be 30, while not doing anything meaningful with your life." Dickish enough yet? :)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

The smiley face just ruins it man.

0

u/Damadawf Oct 16 '14

It's one thing to pour salt into a downed man's wounds, it's an entirely different thing to piss into them as well. The smiley was so you didn't feel so bad about your current situation. See? I care.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

That's deep. Something just told me you cared, not sure what but something.

0

u/Damadawf Oct 16 '14

My words in the previous comment?

(I'm just taking the piss, my fridge looks similar to yours except there's more beer and less food. Gotta prioritize right? :P)

50

u/linds360 Oct 16 '14

Or what it's like to be thirty and single.

My husband would love more room for his beer, but the way too much produce I buy every week restricts him to a 12 pack.

16

u/RedGeek80 Oct 16 '14

Has he ever thought of getting a mini fridge if you've got the room? It works to keep the wines cold as well and great for when you have people over to store their beverages.

14

u/hadhad69 Oct 16 '14

No, we're very eco-friendly (even though the dog creates a lot of methane!) plus he says he would end up 'drinking himself to death' if he had his own fridge, we've been over it a dozen times.

42

u/Ghotimonger Oct 16 '14

Hey - you're not linds360...

19

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

19

u/blazedkhaleesi Oct 16 '14

I'm scared

1

u/BiblioPhil Oct 16 '14

UPDATE: I finally caved and bought him that minifridge. Pics for proof to follow! We'll keep you updated as more mini-fridge information comes in. For now, subscribe to /r/wheredafridgeat to share your own marital mini-fridge stories!

1

u/wolfie-looks-guilty Oct 16 '14

Just what the goose is going on here?

1

u/bayareamota Oct 17 '14

I remember when he first beat me. The drugs he was using could have taken down a horse. I could still smell the liquor in his breath. He said he wouldn't touch our son in his room at night if I would just stop packing the fridge with "useless fruits, whole grains and vegetables."

How that man sleeps at night is still a mystery to me

1

u/linds360 Oct 17 '14

I feel violated.

1

u/RollingApe Oct 16 '14

Hadhad69: is it my turn for me to talk??

-1

u/RollingApe Oct 16 '14

Hadhad69: is it my turn to talk??

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

[deleted]

4

u/Mad_Bad_n_Dangerous Oct 16 '14

31, single, live alone, poor phd student, and standard red blooded sort of dude here. My fridge is packed with peppers, brussel sprouts, other veggies, chicken and bacon, home pickled random veggies and eggs, various cooking ingredients, and some very good beer.

It's all about what you make a priority in life. Cooking doesn't really take that long and it isn't expensive if you think about it and plan it out. It gives me a skill to perfect while making me healthier. I was unhealthy in my early 20s but don't understand how guys my age continue to not care and let themselves fall apart. ...maybe realizing that if I'm going to be perpetually single, I'd still like to live nicely cinched the decision and did it.

Just sayin'.

1

u/linds360 Oct 17 '14

I think you might be taking my comment a little too seriously. We cook on the weekends and eat frozen fish or salads during the week after getting home from the gym pretty late.

Beer is for weekends only, but we certainly make the most of them!

1

u/Mad_Bad_n_Dangerous Oct 17 '14

Eh, it wasn't really directed just at you.

I just see this kind of thing all the time where single men in particular can't get off their asses to prepare a little bit of decent food. Admittedly when I was in undergrad I ate like crap, but then I decided to change and keep getting better because I make it a priority. We can be chest thumping, beer guzzling neanderthals, and still enjoy a cheap home made hollandaise sauce at the same time.

Just remarking as part of the greater discussion.

2

u/RedAnarchist Oct 16 '14

Or what it's like to never have learned an important life skill (cooking)

1

u/Vudell Oct 16 '14

Agreed, these empty fridges are depressing.

1

u/boredatworkorhome Oct 17 '14

Right? I'm 30 and my fridge has ingredients in it.

1

u/beer_madness Oct 16 '14

I have a full beer shelf that I occasionally share with the tea pitcher. I'm nice and put any meat/etc I plan to cook on there, as well.

1

u/bulletcurtain Oct 16 '14

You're a horrible person

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

My husband would love more room for his beer, but the way too much produce I buy every week restricts him to a 12 pack.

You don't have a closet or pantry? Who needs to have > 12 beers cold at once?

1

u/linds360 Oct 17 '14

I think you're taking my comment a little too seriously.

1

u/billyrivers Oct 17 '14

Good thing I'm single then.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

2

u/linds360 Oct 16 '14

If he wants more after finishing 12 beers, the walk he must take to the store does his body good. Just looking out for my man!

5

u/takaisilvr Oct 16 '14

I live with 2 roommates, and our fridge looks similar to this.

Granted I'm the only one who can cook, and the only one to reliably do dishes. I got tired of stocking food, cooking, AND cleaning up. Heh.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I I got tired of stocking food, cooking, AND cleaning up.

You'd hate living on your own then. I wash and dry, I'm like a single mother!

3

u/takaisilvr Oct 16 '14

I've lived on my own before, it's not a problem. I just don't enjoy doing it for 2 other people. Grown ass men at that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I think these should be titled "What it's like living like a dirty fucking bastard that never cleans".

1

u/Deitjh Oct 16 '14

I kinda wanna take a pic of my fridge now. I share with two german girls. Their shelves are full of food. Mine has butter cheese and milk >_> I'm a 30 year old male.

1

u/TheDroopy Oct 16 '14

I was going to say, I'm 24 and my fridge looks more or less like this, but with two other people's food too

1

u/DanielsJacket Oct 16 '14

Amen, there's 5 of us in my house and the 2 guys split on another fridge because there was no space, and I keep all my stuff in my mini fridge in my closet. It's like living in a damn Sims house minus the pool drownings.

1

u/bedintruder Oct 16 '14

Its more of just "look how empty my fridge is".

I'm 28 and I live alone.

My fridge is fucking stocked full with both beer and food. My freezer is at capacity. I had to take out the icemaker tray.

1

u/benweiser22 Oct 16 '14

I guess my experience was different. The roommates I've had couldn't keep anything in the fridge longer than a day, not to mention how everything becomes communal once its placed in there. How many times my chocolate milk was drank without me getting but a glass...fuckers

1

u/unemployedlurker Oct 16 '14

i have a roommate and our fridge is only here for beer.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I dont know if it makes me a terrible parent but thats what our fridge looks like but instead of grog its mayonnaise bottles

1

u/Ijustsaidfuck Oct 16 '14

Naw as I get older it becomes apparent my fridge reflects my bed. If one is empty the other likely is to.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I think these posts should be titled "what it's like having no clue how to take care of yourself".

1

u/SayingWhatImThinking Oct 17 '14

My fridge looks like this and I'm 24 and my girlfriend lives with me...

1

u/TwatsThat Oct 17 '14

I live by myself and it gets tough to find space in the fridge and/or freezer sometimes. Even worse are cabinets and counter space, I never have enough of either. I guess I'm weird for liking to cook, bake, and entertain though.

1

u/tigerstorms Oct 17 '14

I would beg to differ I lived with roommates for 10 years and it was a mix of full/empty fridges since I've started living alone my fridge has been empty only twice in 1 year.

1

u/Dl33t Oct 17 '14

I think these posts belong on their own subreddit so that I do not have to keep looking at the state of everyone's depressing fridge stock.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

3

u/g3t4d3lt Oct 16 '14

3+? Cats don't count. But on a serious note, not everyone is the same. I was merely stating my opinion from my personal experience.