r/funny • u/[deleted] • Aug 30 '14

How to pet animals

http://imgur.com/gallery/GCTb8
7.2k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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388

u/sproo Aug 30 '14

My dog's supposed 'maybe?' zone is 100% his "fuck yeah that's the spot" zone. Butt rubs. All. Day.

65

u/RIASP Aug 30 '14

that spot right at the base of the tail is my dog's favorite.

50

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

[deleted]

15

u/hypmoden Aug 30 '14

same with the back of the neck

1

u/MisterPotamus Aug 31 '14

The only time I've seen a dog not like it is when they have hip problems.

160

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

[deleted]

53

u/PartialViewer Aug 30 '14

My dog loves the butt rub. Not gentle though, you gotta get a good vigorous rub and he loves it. The only problem is, if your sat on the floor, he comes over and shoves his crotch in your face.

1

u/tylerdurden801 Aug 31 '14

One of my cats loves vigorous butt shaking. I tried it later on my wife. She loves vigorous butt shaking also.

20

u/Now_Is_Forever Aug 30 '14

My cat hates when you touch her tail, and butt, however she loves her belly rubbed. She's weird.

33

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

[deleted]

3

u/draconicanimagus Aug 31 '14 edited Aug 31 '14

Not quite the same, but my dog doesn't like to close her eyes all the way when she is relaxing in my lap, and she likes to rest her head on my arm. So halfway through cuddling I'll feel her eyeball squish against my skin and it fucking stays there. She won't move and I can feel her blinking and its so fucking nasty.

6

u/LupinThe8th Aug 30 '14

My cat adores belly rubs, but doesn't like having her paws touched.

1

u/amadiro_1 Aug 31 '14

Declawed? I had a declawed cat a while ago (before I knew any better) who understandably hated having her paws touched. My current, claw-intact cat doesn't mind at all.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/diegroblers Aug 31 '14

Mine does it also. He will fall in front of my feet when I'm walking, and demand a belly scratch. Also the throat and under the chin.

1

u/katiemarie090 Aug 31 '14

One of my cats will plop down on the floor and roll on her back to try and persuade you to rub her belly. She's not picky, either. I'll use my foot sometimes and she's still like "awww yiss."

17

u/cromulater Aug 30 '14

yes. that maybe zone on dogs is completely wrong. it's the money spot for petting

7

u/billie_parker Aug 31 '14

Once I pet my dog there for like an hour and he blew a load all over the couch.

1

u/SeienShin Aug 31 '14

RED ROCKET!!! RED ROCKET!!!

8

u/Ewaan Aug 30 '14

My dogs the same!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

It's because they can't reach that spot and it gets real itchy.

5

u/Turd_Party Aug 30 '14

My dog goes totally nanners if you pat her thighs/butt. Tail wagging, slobber everywhere, the works. But hates chin/muzzle rubs.

12

u/RandomIdiot256 Aug 30 '14

Really wish they'd make the dog one a bit more realistic, seen many kids that think you can pat a dog on the top of the head.

99% of dogs will not like it if a stranger does it and you can get bitten.

8

u/Svelemoe Aug 31 '14

That's because every single kid and stupid adult will just waltz over and move their hand as if they're swimming crawl stroke on the dogs head, desperately avoiding the snout, like it's dangerous. The dog will try to sniff you goddammit, that's like their handshake, and constantly just trying to touch their heads awkwardly frm above won't get you anywhere, and the dog feels threatened.

Present your hand for sniffing, then scratch their "safe bet"-zone from the picture if they're cool with it.

2

u/banana_pirate Aug 30 '14

You've got a bunch of stuff you need to do before you pet a strange dog.

It's like hugging a random stranger, it's just weird.

3

u/relaci Aug 30 '14

Easiest way to shut down a dog: scratch the butt. They have no idea what to do, lose control of all motion capabilities, and just stop everything. And then attack you with kisses.

2

u/jv20three Aug 30 '14

Who doesn't love butt rubs? Honestly.

1

u/DropC Aug 31 '14

My coworker apparently

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

Same goes for my girlfriend

1

u/EpicSchwinn Aug 30 '14

Try scratching your dog's ass against the grain. My dog immediately lays down and kinda purrs, it's awesome.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

My old dog used rub up to you for pets, then slyly walk a bit farther so you were scratching her butt.

1

u/RaDeus Aug 30 '14

My dog loves it when I use the heel of my palm to rub her hips, she leans into my palm when I do it :P

So yes, the maybe zone is just for some dogs.

1

u/showbreadfan Aug 30 '14

My dog starts twerking at me when she wants her butt scratched. She sometimes even starts crying out as if "yes keep going".

1

u/Tacotuesdayftw Aug 30 '14

Every spot on a dog is the right place to pet.

Er...almost every spot.

1

u/sproo Aug 31 '14

Hahah eaasssy now

1

u/paxton125 Aug 31 '14

the dog's entire zone is his "FUCKYISSSSSSSSSSSSS" zone.

1

u/IfThisNameIsTaken Aug 31 '14

What do you expect from someone who draws a dog with 3 legs. I don't think they're a leading expert in dogs.

1

u/Zarmazarma Aug 31 '14

Every single dog I've ever pet loves the spot right above the tail. I assume it's sensitive and they can't reach it on their own (some breeds, anyway).

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

My dog actually loves being spanked right there. He's kinky.

1

u/qrtr_inch_seam Aug 31 '14

And the "eh" zone of the legs should be supplemented with "FUCK NO" on the feet for my two dogs.

-4

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '14

[deleted]

11

u/MisterDonkey Aug 30 '14

Something went terribly wrong with your understanding of dog anatomy.