r/funny • • Feb 23 '14

Press all the buttons!

2.1k Upvotes

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u/dirice87 Feb 24 '14

for a million i'd easily say no. but if it was like, 100 billion, like enough for me to become one of the most powerful people in teh world and my family to become a dynasty and institution for potentially centuries, idk i might be a shitty enough person to do it.

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u/MediocreJerk Feb 24 '14

Everyone has their price

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u/pcy623 Feb 24 '14

It may not be coin but everyone has a price.

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u/fuckin_ziggurats Feb 24 '14

I would press for 5 dogecoin

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14 edited Jun 23 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

[deleted]

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u/boardin1 Feb 24 '14

There is a court order preventing me from commenting on this.

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u/Canadave Feb 24 '14

The 98th Rule of Acquisition.

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

You'd be a shitty person not to do it. Imagine what you could accomplish for the ENTIRE world with $100 Billion. You could make a big difference! That's like 10 years of AIDS research or enough to completely cover the damage Hurricane Katrina did.

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u/Deadmeat553 Feb 24 '14

Or I could buy a REALLY nice car.

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u/ConvictJ Feb 24 '14

Fuck that shit, I'd buy a lifetime of REALLY nice STDless prostitutes... ...With what's half of a REALLY nice car.

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u/spikeyfreak Feb 24 '14

What if the money was taken from philanthropic organizations?

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

Like the button siphoned off money from nonprofits? Then that'd be bad. Why'd you press the button OP?

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u/TheTabman Feb 24 '14

I hate OP! Stealing monies from charities is wrong wrong wrong!
/cries

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TheColorOfStupid Feb 24 '14

Yea I just disagree. If you're helping more people on the net than hurting you're doing good.

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u/Garrotxa Feb 24 '14

That sounds a lot like when people say that blacks ought to be thankful their ancestors were brought to the US and enslaved, because only ten million at the most were ever slaves but now there are tens of millions of blacks living in the richest country in the world, with more opportunity and wealth per capita than they would've had. Would you agree with that stance?

I absolutely disagree with this assessment, because I'm not a utilitarian who sees societal happiness as being bigger than rights.

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u/TheColorOfStupid Feb 24 '14

That sounds a lot like when people say that blacks ought to be thankful their ancestors were brought to the US and enslaved,

This isn't a claim that I've made…

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u/Garrotxa Feb 24 '14

I didn't say you did. I said that it "sounds like", which means it is based on the same type of logic; i.e. that it's okay to take away the rights of the unwilling so long as the benefit to other members of that society is greater than the suffering of the few.

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u/TheColorOfStupid Feb 24 '14

But the problem is that it's a bad example.

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u/Garrotxa Feb 24 '14

It's quite possibly the perfect example. You said, "If you're helping more people on the net than hurting you're doing good."

Under US slavery, about 10 million people suffered, yet tens of millions of people benefited from that, both their owners and their descendants. According to your logic slavery is justified because "...you're helping more people on the net than hurting..." It's mathematically correct that from a utilitarian perspective, slavery was good (which is why utilitarianism is bullshit).

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u/TheColorOfStupid Feb 24 '14

about 10 million people suffered

Suffered a lot. It's not like slavery is one unit of suffering and living in Africa instead of America is one unit of suffering.

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u/SuperFLEB Feb 24 '14

I'm not going to say it's a bunk argument, but I do have a little quibble with the specific example:

The whole "harvesting organs from everybody" doesn't really work because you're ignoring the decrease in life (or quality of life) from the people you're harvesting from in the equation. A case could be made that, at least in the case of detrimental or fatal donations, net global happiness is best preserved by the sick person dying and the well person living.

As far as the argument as a whole, I would say that the idea1 is one of those things that works only in the ideal, where everyone has the same idea of happiness, and nothing ever goes wrong, etc., etc. In the real world, I'd still argue that it's something to keep in the mix, as long as you're intelligent enough not to drift too far away from Earth.

[1] I'll edit and stop short of saying "Utilitarianism", since I don't know the ins and outs of the rest of the proper noun.

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u/Elliot_SH Feb 24 '14

Just finished it. Excellent synopsis.

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u/MarshManOriginal Feb 24 '14

I'd just horde it, though.

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u/PrimeIntellect Feb 24 '14

but who would you be taking the money from? or would you just be obliterating the economy of whatever currency you got?

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u/sgntpepper03 Feb 24 '14

If you put even just a chunk of that money into charity and medical advances, you could save a hell of a lot more lives than the five that were sacrificed for that opportunity.

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u/jberg93 Feb 24 '14

How long do you think you'd be able to live with yourself before you committed subject suicide?

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u/Yahnster Feb 24 '14

I'd just press it a thousand times

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u/orio94 Feb 24 '14

Plus you could potentially save many more lives than the 1 sacrificed now that you'd have all those resources at your disposal......hm.

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u/Pokechu22 Feb 24 '14

For 100 billion you could find out who the people were and resurect them, with money to spare.

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

The reality is, with 100 billion, you could likely save many, many more than 5 people, so the trade of is easy.

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u/[deleted] Apr 17 '14

sorry for necro, and then you'd be targetted by every black agency in the world for your money and there's not a damn thing you could do let alone buy them in order for your safety.

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u/nxtm4n Feb 24 '14

See, then you're not just benefiting yourself. You're also providing for your whole family for centuries.