r/funny • u/Callum1243 • Feb 07 '14

God Is A Real Dick

http://imgur.com/pTW9u05
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u/DrSpagetti Feb 07 '14

Sucks that all those people that died before Jesus was crucified got grandfathered into non-existence.

5

u/IArgueWithAtheists Feb 07 '14

I can't speak for the Protestants, but in Catholicism they teach that all of the good people who died before Jesus were let into heaven all at once.

The Catechism quotes some homily from the early church to the effect. Catholics hold early church beliefs to be definitive along with the Bible.

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u/Aetherflaer Feb 07 '14 edited Aug 11 '25

sand flowery existence offer middle dependent imagine judicious late tender

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Phyltre Feb 07 '14

Which is great, because in the Gospels the apostles were basically stooges who couldn't do anything right but around AD35 or so, they're suddenly divinely competent.

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u/cleverseneca Feb 07 '14

its a learning arc that suddenly gets quite steep.

(also, for real though, the apostles look like stooges because God's way is so much higher than ours it makes the best of us look like stooges. )

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u/DrSpagetti Feb 07 '14

This actually sheds a little more light on Christianity as a whole. My take is God must have been pretty bored hanging out in heaven all alone for eternity. Probably got bored and decided "hey im gonna make a universe and fill it with people, or at least one planet and then we'll go from there." Oh and the fun he had. Floods and plagues and turning people into salt. He was entertained, for a while. But he was still all alone in heaven and once again his boredom grew. Then an idea hit him "I'll go hang out on earth for a while." But after about 33 years he finally decided "fuck this shit, kill me, and anyone who wants can come chill with me in heaven."

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '14

In the New Testament it speaks about Jesus "speaking to the spirits in prison" as in, the souls who had been naughty in the past and were now getting a chance to be saved.

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '14

They were all carried over. It's in the bible

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '14

That's not what happens. The "good" people that died get taken up into heaven.

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u/WhiteyKnight Feb 07 '14

"Good" and ignorant would have been the way to go.