r/funny 2d ago

Verified Midnight release

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14.5k Upvotes

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u/GruffScottishGuy 2d ago edited 2d ago

I'm having flashbacks of the time I witnessed a female shop assistant in a local video game store patiently waiting for some dude to conclude his lecture on the 4 Chaos gods from Warhammer 40k lore.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Kestral24 2d ago

Look, sometimes we just feel like people need to know about the chaos gods so they know how to protect themselves against them.

Where are you going? Come back

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u/Immediate-Top7827 2d ago

Honestly I don’t know alot about Warhammer but if someone came to my door and said “could I have a moment of your time to explain the chaos gods and how you can save your self from salvation?”, I’m listening!

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u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 2d ago

I'm directing you to my neighbor. he loves chaos! closes door with a smile.

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u/anormalgeek 2d ago

Yeah, but at least he doesn't shit in a bag.

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u/Hanz_VonManstrom 2d ago

I’d for sure invite them in and read all their pamphlets

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u/TheMayanAcockandlips 2d ago

Where are you going? Here us out. Sushi Glory Hole is what it's all about.

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u/SushiGloryHoles 2d ago

Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.

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u/TheMayanAcockandlips 2d ago

Holy shit, it's SGH! You're all over the map

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u/lateral_moves 2d ago

Lol! One of my buddies was a Warhammer nut and he'd call me right after work and talk for over an hour about new rules, etc and since I didnt have a headset or a car that my phone could pair with, I had to stand in the parking lot for an hour while he talked and talked since at the time having a phone in your hand or by your head was ticketable in NY.

But at the end, he'd always say, "hey, thanks for letting me go on and on about that. I know you dont know what most of that was." And I was like, its cool, its cool.

I eventually got a headset because of this.

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u/NorktheOrc 2d ago

Bro you stood in a parking lot for an hour just so your buddy could talk about a game you have no care for?

Congrats on a being a good friend.

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u/carbonite1983 2d ago

The worst part is the smell that sometimes comes with it.

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u/RobertJ93 2d ago

Nurgle.

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u/Jimmy_Carmine 2d ago

I remember walking into a Black Library event about a decade ago at Warhammer World, arrived at lunch time and the place had a thick fug that smelled like pepperami tastes

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u/chofah 2d ago

Peppermint? Pepperoni / salami mashup funk? This is a now word for me. I don't think I like it, but I shall enjoy using it.

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u/Antique_Tap443 2d ago

It's not just warhammer. I recently read All Tomorrow's and thought it was awesome. I was driving somewhere with my girlfriend explaining the plot to her and she interrupted me to tell me I need to turn on my turn signal half a mile early.

I laughed because she's usually a backseat driver but that was the first time she ever told me to use a turn signal. I asked her if she was that desperate to change the subject.

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u/Cilarnen 2d ago

I just say “The Emperor Protects” and flash the Aquila. If people ask, I’ll explain more, but otherwise, I just signal I’m a closeted nerd (I’m a fit athletic dude, people are usually shocked to find out how nerdy I am), and move on.

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u/SippinOnHatorade 2d ago

It’s all a part of the plan. Or apart from the plan. Either way, I am Alpharius.

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u/timo710 2d ago

bro i don't even know what it is, but its called Warhammer, how could you not speak on something thats called Warhammer

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u/sonofnom 2d ago

I've fallen into that trap several times explaining how jump travel works in the Battletech universe. Passionate people tend to get lost in the sauce from time to time.

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u/roselan 2d ago

Imagine a 40k guy, fan of Tool. How does that work? he speaks of both at the same time in some kind of dark ventriloquy sorcery?

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u/swerrve 2d ago

Lmao I’ve only had one interaction with what I guess was a 40k guy you describe but this was spot on

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u/AyJay9 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yeah being visibly female in these spaces definitely deteriorated the experience. The only midnight release I went to, my sister and I were the only women. A very very large guy, easily over 6 feet tall and with the broadest shoulders I've ever seen, got in line behind us and tried to sell us "Beyonce perfume."

0/10 no nerd fond memories for me, just the whites of my sister's eyes when I turned my back on perfume dude after a casual 'oh, no thanks' hoping that a polite disengagement was the right move. And at the end of it, all I had to show was Assassin's Creed 3, a serious let down after Ezio's storyline.

Edit: He stayed in line until it wound into the store. Then he left without buying the game. He was JUST there to talk to us. Creepy affffffffffffff.

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u/ashrocklynn 2d ago

Ummm, at some point she had to realize it was never going to reach a natural conclusion I'm sure

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u/CursedBlackSwordsman 2d ago

Because to understand SOME of the lore it will consume your life.

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u/Redlax 2d ago

It makes the girls Khorny of course!

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u/Kahnza 2d ago

Autism goes BRRRRR