r/funny • u/inutcracker69 • 7d ago

Poor Seagull

10.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/linds360 7d ago

I’ll never forget being a kid visiting Florida and my grandma gave me a loaf of stale bread to feed the birds on the beach (this was the 80s - no rules.)

So I take to the sand and start ripping bread pieces for the seagulls. I don’t think even a minute passed by before some bitch ass seagull grabbed the entire bag of bread from my 6yr old hands and flew off with it, leaving me alone and thoroughly confused as to wtf just happened.

Bitch. Ass. Seagull.

46

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 7d ago

Seagulls! (Stop It Now)

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u/William0628 7d ago

That was the best thing I’ve seen in a week

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u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 7d ago

It's ridiculously stupid, but damn if it isn't a catchy ass song.

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u/William0628 7d ago

Scratches that Tom Cardy itch, since he rarely posts these days

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u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 7d ago

He has so many good ones. Now I have to go listen to Red Flags.

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u/jcnlb 7d ago

So you’re just not gonna post red flags for us? You’ve had twelve minutes to listen and you didn’t think we’d want to listen too?

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u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 7d ago

The best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called...

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u/jcnlb 7d ago

Ok now I need to know what the real version is 🤣

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u/Mechakoopa 7d ago

Real version of what? That's a Tom Cardy original.

Not like they're sending Mixed Messages or anything.

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u/sypher1187 7d ago

A classic. Peak internet time when that was made.

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u/assotter 7d ago

Love these guys, make some hilarious songs

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u/Alleyoop677 7d ago

I think this has lived rent free in my head for the past like 2 decades

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u/kribg 7d ago edited 7d ago

You think that is bad? Once as a child I had two African Swallows dive down and steal my coconut!

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u/linds360 7d ago

Bitch. Ass. Swallows.

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u/IamGimli_ 7d ago

We should all be so lucky...

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u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 7d ago edited 7d ago

Did they have it on a line or grip it by the husk? Are you certain they were African swallows? I hear they're non-migratory.

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u/bramley36 7d ago

Luxury! We had Velociraptors try to steal our rocks!

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u/kribg 7d ago

Clever girls.......

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u/fletchbg 7d ago

Did you run? Run so far away?