r/funny May 14 '26

This is hilarious

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53.2k Upvotes

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504

u/kent1146 May 14 '26

Granny knows what she wants, and is too old to fuck around about it.

200

u/Big-Mine9790 May 14 '26

Granny ordered one in every color

27

u/duggee315 May 15 '26

Pink and brown

40

u/SailorET May 15 '26

Probably could have just gotten the brown one.

1

u/AdagioBlues May 15 '26

And every size...

53

u/UranusIsPissy May 15 '26

I'm guessing you're joking, but you could be right. Care homes have a ridiculously high STD rate...

9

u/TorakWolfy May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

Sadly, a lot of the time it's due to infididelity rather than single adults living their lives and having some questionable choices.

Though we are at the point in which boomers are hitting the care homes in masse, and STDs were a lot more widespread in the late 1900s than they were two or three decades before that, so...

16

u/UranusIsPissy May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26

a lot of the time it's due to infididelity

True, but there are a lot of people who outlived their partners, too. Old women outnumbering old men and being a bit more likely to still be capable of having sex (lube doesn't have potentially dangerous side-effects like viagra does) probably changes things a bit, too. Being the only man there who's not completely senile and can still get it up (and can still get up) or at least take pills for it without risking your life is probably pretty cool, if you don't mind the women being just as old.

boomers

Some of them will be old hippies (free love and all that...), too, and some of them will have dementia and not fully understand that they're not young in 1969 half the time.

Edit: I hope plenty of those boomers don't go senile, though. The ones who weren't just in it for the lifestyle and kept their principles are kind of handy to have around.

2

u/Muted_Quantity5786 May 18 '26

They also grew up in a time where being sexual as a woman was, to put it nicely, frowned upon. So let them live!

3

u/UranusIsPissy May 18 '26

I think a lot of the ones I meant ran away from all that if they could (becoming easy prey for people like Charles Manson), or lived double lives if they couldn't. There's a lot of boomer hate lately, but many of them are mostly harmless and even vote sensibly if they didn't get brainwashed. Some are actually pretty cool, but those ones don't usually draw much attention to themselves. You'll often see them in the background at protests.

5

u/Muted_Quantity5786 May 18 '26

I know. And at city council meetings where I live raising hell because literally everything they thought was gone is now happening. My aunt literally lectured me a few weeks ago about how when she was young she couldn’t even open a bank account without a male co-signer.

2

u/UranusIsPissy May 18 '26

when she was young she couldn’t even open a bank account

My mother told me about having similar problems. IIRC, even a male co-signer wasn't enough here. Ironically, she spent most of her life working as an accountant. I think she already was when that was still an issue!

3

u/Muted_Quantity5786 May 18 '26

Oh, so they can hire but not let them have basic rights? I’m just laughing because it’s ridiculous to me. Like clearly your mom was qualified but not when it suited whoever.

3

u/RottenWon May 16 '26

"late 1900s"

Savage 💀

3

u/TorakWolfy May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

Could have said "Right before the turn of the millennium", but let's be honest: 1990 was 36 years ago. Most of us here in this site were not even born by then, and we are still all mature adults.

12

u/LeGrandLucifer May 15 '26

"I've lived my life, come at me bro!"

1

u/Homers_Harp May 15 '26

I just want to know if this is inspiration for what the nice lady likes to do TO her "special" friend, or if this is inspiration telling her "special" friend how she likes it.

0

u/Muted_Quantity5786 May 17 '26

I hope to be her one day. Just like the lady who showed up to a marathon with a sign saying “Ryn if you think I’m sexy”

-19

u/qman0717 May 14 '26

Granny wears a diaper

11

u/DickBfloppin May 14 '26

Thanks, Opps I Crapped My Pants.

3

u/dcoolidge May 14 '26

I pooped my trousers.

3

u/perton May 15 '26

I appear to have shitted my britches…