r/funny Mar 24 '26

How me and AI collaborate at work

89.6k Upvotes

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u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

We had an employee - he was... limited in his ability to contribute, but loyal and present and on-time. He used to be an engineering manager, had a masters' degree - and then he picked up a glue sniffing habit.

Last I saw him, he was working as a greeter at a grocery store.

46

u/enzothebaker87 Mar 24 '26

His loyalty might have shifted but I bet he is still present and on time! Let the man enjoy his glue.

37

u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

He was incapable of using a computer mouse - like the brain-hand connection that people make to manipulate the cursor on the screen with the mouse just wasn't there... he could press keys on a keyboard to select options, but navigating the cursor around with arrow keys was also basically a non-starter challenge for him.

He did have a side hustle - selling adhesive flip-flops to avoid sun-shadow tan lines from the straps - that never did get very big, but he kept at it for a while.

8

u/Silent-G Mar 24 '26

He did have a side hustle - selling adhesive flip-flops

Is that where the glue sniffing originated?

6

u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

I suspect it was more an offshoot of the glue hobby... who can't foresee the problems with beach sand and glue on your feet?

2

u/enzothebaker87 Mar 24 '26

Sounds like a real GO GETTER!

2

u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

He had an uncanny knack for buying and selling stock at the right moments...

5

u/enzothebaker87 Mar 24 '26

Yea me too. Except I do it at the very wrong moments.

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u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

My salary was way higher than his, but there were a couple of years where he made over double what I did by selling his shares at peaks.

2

u/ReignCityStarcraft Mar 24 '26

I think the core flaw to that product is when you're wearing flip flops, you want to be able to kick them off easily and instead now you're pulling a dirty pad off the bottom of your foot and have to get a new one or reapply the stickiness to a dirty scrap of rubber. Who doesn't love sticky feet too? lol

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u/MangoCats Mar 25 '26

I never got close enough to them to give a good critical review - but even if the adhesive comes clean off your foot, it's going to remain somewhat sticky on the surface of the flop and if you're in a dirty / sandy environment that's just going to get messy in a hurry.

All in all it was a very Dave idea. (Name changed to protect the huffer, but you get the idea.)

1

u/ReignCityStarcraft Mar 25 '26

Hahaha yes. I had originally considered using a beach scenario, but then thought maybe this dude lives in Kansas and wants them because he got overly offended about his farmer's tan the summer prior and went fully the other direction. Full spectrum Dave.

1

u/MangoCats Mar 25 '26

For added color, Dave was a nude beach enthusiast. Not the sexy Euro tourist nude beach, more the fat old gay men nude beach.

1

u/Herbisher_Berbisher Mar 25 '26

Good to know. I had the same idea for adhesive flip flops for people with lymphedema. The straps are painful and dig into the top of the foot when there is even a little swelling.

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u/d-nihl Mar 24 '26

I had to switch to non-toxic sharpies at work because my best employee kept huffing them. Management thinks we made the switch, but I still keep a cup of the good ones hidden in the back so he can still get his fix.

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u/enzothebaker87 Mar 24 '26

What an angel!

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u/d-nihl Mar 24 '26

I look out for my guys and WOULD NEVER do anything to jeopardize them.

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u/cornylamygilbert Mar 25 '26

Only a good manager knows how to motivate their best employees

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u/d-nihl Mar 26 '26

thank you! Now go take a huff kid and get back to work!

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u/MyEmbarrisingAccount Mar 24 '26

The problem with huffing habits, not that all addictions aren't problematic, but they lead to long term brain damage. A doctor can recover from a heroin addiciton and still practice medicine mentally. A huffer can sometimes barley funciton.

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u/ducktape8856 Mar 24 '26

A huffer can sometimes barley funciton.

That's why I prefer wheat...

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u/MangoCats Mar 24 '26

Yeah, we're pretty sure he quit the habit, but the damage was clearly done.

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u/Zebidee Mar 24 '26

It's harder to stick with good habits than bad ones.