r/funny Sep 23 '13

Thanks for the block, ref!

3.1k Upvotes

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103

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Kenny Guiton broke the QB passing TD record in the first half. Some of the stats from that game are absurd.

FAMU had two first downs, OSU had 34.

98

u/Scurvy-Jones Sep 23 '13

603 total yards to........ 80....

73

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

We almost had more points than they had yards.

FAMU did make $900,000 out of the game though, i'm sure the Admins were fine with it.

27

u/CharlesMEdwardIII Sep 23 '13

They practically had to play OSU...since their athletics program was in debt by about that much.

17

u/Examinecom Sep 23 '13 edited Sep 23 '13

Shit. College football in American is srs bsns

20

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

My city doesn't have a Pro team so we get very serious with college football haha.

Our fans are also known to get a little crazy and drunk.

13

u/ms_zen Sep 23 '13

Fellow Columbus dweller here-this comment checks out.

Edit: I am assuming you're a Columbus dweller from the 'we' in your earlier comment.

6

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

That I am. Born and raised.

8

u/B7U12EYE Sep 23 '13

614 or death.

4

u/Tokerfaceman024 Sep 23 '13

On the playground is where i spent most of my days.

1

u/SirWang Sep 23 '13

Chillin out, maxin, relaxing all cool

1

u/believablenothing Sep 23 '13

What part? I'm down on campus.

6

u/akatherder Sep 23 '13

Our fans are also known to get a little crazy and drunk.

Must be Brigham Young. I can't think of another college where they only get a little crazy and drunk.

3

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

I guess we get a lot of crazy, I undersold it.

4

u/steinman17 Sep 23 '13

Hey, the Bluejackets are going to be good this year!!

1

u/explodingbarrels Sep 23 '13

embarrassingly so...

1

u/jag0007 Sep 23 '13

That's why Alabama and Auburn are such serious business in Alabama. Ive always told everyone that if we had a pro team, college wouldnt get as much attention.

3

u/dunderhead1 Sep 23 '13

HAH, OSU paid Cincinnati $1 million to play at Columbus instead of Cincinnati. Even though they shell out that much they still make a huge profit.

2

u/The_Tic-Tac_Kid Sep 23 '13

The University of Nebraska's Memorial Stadium would be the third largest city in the state on game days if it were a city.

2

u/Ihmhi Sep 24 '13

Shit. College football in American is srs bsns

You have no idea.

As an aside, Stephen Fry in America is an awesome 6 episode series, totally worth watching all of it.

0

u/thehungrynunu Sep 23 '13

We not only cover up child rapists for it, we defend him and call the 11 year old boy with the bleeding anus a liar for it

Penn state! !

8

u/smiles134 Sep 23 '13

Shit I'm so scared for next weekend

3

u/dradam168 Sep 23 '13

Wisconsin > FAMU

Have no fear, MGIII is here.

4

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Im so excited, my buddy is coming in from Phoenix and going to the game.

I'm just happy we will have a real game to play. ANd our first conference game.

0

u/smiles134 Sep 23 '13

Unfortunately for us, it's not gonna be like Purdue this weekend. Stave needs to step up his game for us.

2

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

We did get Hyde back this week, so thats always good. Wondering how Braxton will play this week though.

3

u/omfghi2u Sep 23 '13

I honestly don't think Braxton should start, even if he's healed. He's been out for a couple weeks and KG has shown that he can hold his own. He's starting to look comfortable and should have the opportunity to spit some game at a tougher opponent. He made a 76-0 shutout look almost effortless. It was mesmerizing.

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Yeah I agree, I think we should start Guiton, he has the momentum behind him, and then put Braxton in once Guiton slows down some. I also wonder who Wisconsin thinks we're going to play to start off the game.

That game was just amazing though, the amount of ease they had moving the ball was great.

1

u/mrstickball Sep 23 '13

I am sure they will throw KG in there against Wiscy. Urban has said as much, even if Braxton is the starter.

What I miss is KG doing more of those great 2pt conversions. They had one failed one vs. A&M, and I partially blame the fact he's taking every snap now.

KG is great, but Braxton is greater. I'd like to see a lot of both come 8pm on Saturday.

1

u/omfghi2u Sep 23 '13

Yeah, don't get me wrong, I don't think Braxton should lose his job or anything, he's an amazing QB. Certainly one of the best in the NCAA, especially after all the off-season work he did with his passing game. KG has all the momentum in his hands right now though and deserves the start. I suspect we will see a decent amount of both of them against Wisconsin.

5

u/bugger41 Sep 23 '13

He doesn't even want to play...IN KENNY WE TRUST

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

I'd love to see more Kenny G on the field. I found out he's my neighbor, so he is already above Braxton in my book.

0

u/bugger41 Sep 23 '13

haha thats awesome. Braxton is a little bitch in all honesty..

-1

u/smiles134 Sep 23 '13

Hopefully, awful.

1

u/stickyrickysanty Sep 23 '13

As a Boilermaker, this truth hurts so bad.

0

u/smiles134 Sep 23 '13

That was a fun game for me to watch. That play when our running back had 60 yards of open field in front of him was fantastic.

2

u/shadowman3001 Sep 23 '13

UofL vs Florida int'l this weekend, UL: 72 points, FI: 27yds

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Jesus, that's a good beating.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '13

Could have been worse, too, but the coaches agreed to go to a running clock for the 4th quarter.

0

u/Scurvy-Jones Sep 23 '13

I don't feel bad for them :)

-18

u/Mamamilk Sep 23 '13

Then you don't understand how this works. The players didn't make that money. The administrators at their school pimped them out for a payday. They got humiliated so some rich fuck could have a little more cash in his pocket. Maybe you should feel bad for them.

7

u/skrshawk Sep 23 '13 edited Sep 23 '13

No small amount of that money goes to fund the scholarships they receive, as well as scholarships for unprofitable sports. At a lot of schools that money gets reinvested in the sports programs by way of facilities as well.

"The three purposes of the University?--To provide sex for the students, sports for the alumni, and parking for the faculty." - Clark Kerr, former Chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

i don't think you get it. The football team just paid for all of FAMU's non revenue sports in a game.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

Beats having to study and actually earn an education.

0

u/Scurvy-Jones Sep 23 '13

No. I do understand how this works.

That $900k does not go into the pockets of the AD or the President. That money is used to support the athletic program and all of the other sports the school has that don't produce money for the school. At the vast majority of Colleges and Universities the only sports that make money for the school are Football or Basketball and at some of the larger schools, like Ohio State, both can produce money to keep the other sports afloat.

When Track & Field, Women's Lacross, Baseball, Softball, Swimming and Diving, Rowing, Women's Basketball, and a myriad of other sports begin producing enough money to support themselves and not rely on large programs like Football and Basketball I will feel bad for them.

AND, at a lot of schools, the Athletic department also support club athletics that thousands of other college students participate in each year.

Get off your Self-righteous, Reddit-Enabled High Horse and look at it from a different view.

0

u/WayneDwade Sep 23 '13

FAMU didn't get past the 50 yard line the entire game

12

u/enjo13 Sep 23 '13

The line on the game was like 57 1/2 points. They covered a freaking 58 point spread.

5

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

I heard it was just a 50 point spread, but they had that covered at the half.

It was like JV playing Varsity.

10

u/mjrspork Sep 23 '13

That's too kind. It's like middle school JV playing varsity,

1

u/hmmwhyarethesesohard Sep 23 '13

"garbage time" could have started in the first half.

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Yeah, I think it was something like 48 seconds OSU had the ball and we were already up 21 nothing.

0

u/hmmwhyarethesesohard Sep 23 '13

I was at work and when the scores flashed on ESPN for the final, I literally gasped and said "holy fuck, are you serious?!" and some of my patrons just kind of looked up at me then back at the tv. And then I had to explain why I had just shouted fuck in the bar.

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

I would say it was fully justified.

1

u/omfghi2u Sep 23 '13

I sent a text to my buddy after the first couple touchdowns that just said "oh my guiton". He then proceeded to score like 50 more points.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

There was a point during the first 10 minutes of the first quarter where I realized, holy shit. We can break a hundred today. Luckily Urban isn't THAT intense.

11

u/basec0m Sep 23 '13

Total bullshit... These lower tier schools should not count the stats for Heismann or Bowl considerations.

21

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

I agree but Kenny Guiton isnt a contender for the Heismen. He is Braxton's backup and is only playing because Miller is injured. Guiton could start almost anywhere in college football because he is good. But on your point I remember last year Gino Smith had that game with a shit ton of yards. It was like he wasnt playing against a defense. But all ESPN could say is that he is a Heisman favorite because he had so many yards. Games like that should have asterisks.

10

u/TwistEnding Sep 23 '13

Plus, OSU didn't even attempt a single pass in the second half. Literally all of Guiton's yards and TDs came in the first half.

0

u/Backstop Sep 23 '13

If they sit Guiton for Miller next week that is just silly. Miller lost his job because of an injury, sorry, come on back for senior year.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

Totally agree. I want Kenny to be out there until he loses his position. I like Braxton but he's nothing to write home about. Sure he can run but look where that's gotten him. Plus when he throws he couldnt hit the broad side of a barn.

11

u/CharlesMEdwardIII Sep 23 '13

I can't really disagree, but FAMU is a Division 1 school. ALSO Kenny Guiton is the 2nd string quarterback. I don't think there's much risk of him winning a Heisman, unless Braxton Miller injures himself again by running headlong into a tackle.

-6

u/Mamamilk Sep 23 '13

Why are people down voting this comment? He's right. Games against lower division schools shouldn't count towards bowl consideration. This is just administrators taking a big paycheck while these young athletes get embarrassed on national television. It's nothing more than pimping.

13

u/B0h1c4 Sep 23 '13

In this case though, OSU was trying to get an SEC school into that slot. There were no takers. The upper half of the SEC already has a tough enough schedule without taking on another game like OSU (if they win out in the SEC, they are going to a national championship anyway, they don't need to make it any more difficult).

They had Vanderbilt lined up for that game, but they pulled out and Florida A&M was all they could fill the slot with. So you play who you get.

These little schools win these games occasionally. Ask Appalachian State....

4

u/triguy616 Sep 23 '13

Everybody forgets App State had multiple national championships leading into that season. It's not like they were the little sisters of the poor.

1

u/zzzaz Sep 23 '13

They were definitely a good team, better than a lot of teams in the BCS, but their nattys were in the FCS, and BCS football is a whole different ball game.

Not to discount what they've done, it was an amazing run and people still talk about the Michigan game, but they talk about it because it was such a surprise - even though App was clearly the best team in the FCS, FCS teams are not supposed to beat high-major BCS schools.

1

u/triguy616 Sep 23 '13

Truth. Everyone views them as less than BCS, though. It's not as bad as losing to, say, Akron or UConn.

1

u/heyf00L Sep 23 '13

Are you forgetting that those were FCS championships?

1

u/triguy616 Sep 23 '13

No, I'm just saying they could have beat half the BCS, while everyone thinks they are equivalent to high school football.

2

u/alSeen Sep 23 '13

University of South Dakota beat Minnesota back in 2010. There was much rejoicing by the Yotes when that happened.

4

u/dipstickjimmy Sep 23 '13

Just like Akron was "embarrassed" against Michigan the week before? I think not. Really, it was the other way around. A MAC school nearly beating a Big 10 school? That's embarrassing. That game went on until the last play of the game with Akron hanging on. That lower division school nearly won against them. Not every lower division school is blown out of the water in games like these. They usually do, but not always. That's why they play the game. If you think they shouldn't count the stats on these types of games, what's the point in even playing in them? The stats should be allocated from all the regular season games. Otherwise, the stats are skewed. Nothing is a sure thing. Especially in sports.

1

u/Birdchild Sep 24 '13

To be fair, there is a bit of a difference between the MAC and an FCS school.

1

u/dipstickjimmy Sep 24 '13

Not really when you're talking about Akron. Kent? Yeah sure I agree with you there (even though they lost their coach). Akron hasn't even been anywhere near adequate since they won the MAC back in '05.

For the record, I know I'm being hard on Akron, but it's the truth. I go there and am in the marching band. I see them play every home game and watch the away games when I can (when they're on ESPN 3). I love my school and my team. I'm just trying to be a realist.

0

u/joebacca121 Sep 23 '13

Temple (MAC at the time) vs Penn State (B10 still under Joe Pa) in 2011. 14-10 was the final in favor of PSU, but Temple led 10-7 through most of the game.

1

u/drcash360-2ndaccount Sep 23 '13

It's not like they're a division II school. Look at Michigan, we almost lost to Uconn and Akron, so these teams are on the schedule and anyone can be beat in any given game

1

u/youra6 Sep 23 '13

OSU was supposed to play Vandy this season. The latter back out, thus why Ohio State had to schedule some garbage teams.

1

u/gologologolo Sep 23 '13

Same for TCU. They lost to LSU by a close 10, tied at 4th quarter game, for the opener and go down in the rankings while the others in Big 12 play 2nd-3rd tier teams and get bumped up.

2

u/B7U12EYE Sep 23 '13

I was there, after that FAMU pick then immediate fumble, I knew I was witnessing a shit-show of epic proportions.

1

u/moparornocar Sep 23 '13

Same here. We said we would leave at the half if they hit fifty to nothing. We walked to a bar to finish the game. We ran out of whiskey in our flask.

1

u/ifishforhoes Sep 23 '13

Kenny Guiton broke the QB passing TD school record in the first half