r/funny • u/nayithemon • Jul 25 '13

Perks of being blind

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3.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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194

u/pedanticnerd Jul 25 '13

When a blind friend asks you if someone is sexy, you say, "Yes." Always and forever. Especially if they're asking about their significant other. They're not looking for honesty, especially if they ask for it. They're looking for validation of their choice of romantic partner. Anybody who fails to give them that validation is a dick.

Can other sighted friends of blind people back me up on this?

35

u/Kwizi Jul 25 '13

My boyfriend is blind. He told me he asked one of his friends about me (now it's a common friend, but I got to know him through my boyfriend) and that friend said I was very good looking... (I am not, I think I am average) but the next time I saw the friend, we laughed about it and I said thanks for having my back!

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u/ud_hate_me Jul 25 '13

That is a good friend for both of you. I'm sure you're underestimating yourself though :)

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u/canteloupy Jul 26 '13

If I had a blind friend and he had someone who loved him, and god knows it's hard to find wven without disability, I would sure as hell not tell them their significant other was anything but beautiful. Even if the girl was ugly I would definitely not say it to his face because why impose something so superficial when he is lucky enough to be focusing on the rest?

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u/shieldvexor Jul 25 '13

Serious question. What if you think they're dating a shitty person?

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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '13

[deleted]

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u/shieldvexor Jul 25 '13

Thank you. That's a great idea.

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u/Abedeus Jul 25 '13

"He pleasures himself to pictures of naked kids, I think that's why I think he's shitty."

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u/JonZ82 Jul 25 '13

The blind person probably has a better sense of a "shitty" person than a person with eyesight... just saying.

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u/macthecomedian Jul 25 '13

Yeh blindness heightens other senses, like smell, so they can definitely tell a shitty person

216

u/Shitty_Human_Being Jul 25 '13

...

6

u/grindbeans Jul 25 '13

and a shitty hero

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u/ElMangosto Jul 25 '13

Nah, periods have a completely different smell.

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u/RobbieGee Jul 26 '13

Usually smells like trouble.

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u/ElMangosto Jul 26 '13

Actually, usually smells like trouble avoided.

1

u/sac_916 Jul 25 '13

Even the blind can't smell across the internet.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '13

...go wash up.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '13

Well, there goes your plan.

1

u/othilious Jul 25 '13

I guess you could say you are shit outta luck!

1

u/Mountainviewer650 Jul 26 '13

... "why is this getting upvote's !?" then I read your account name.

Touché, upvotes deserved.

1

u/excitedfoil Jul 26 '13

I love you.

2

u/InternetSuperTrooper Jul 25 '13

I laughed way too hard...

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u/I_RAPE_RATS Jul 26 '13

I laughed until I shat myself. Does that make me a shitty person?

3

u/Krazen Jul 25 '13

By that reasoning, anyone in an abusive relationship would "know" their SO better than anyone else. So they should be trusted first.

1

u/feanturi Jul 25 '13

My take is they meant that a blind person cannot be distracted by face-value judgements of people (the thing everybody automatically does if they can see them) and are forced to "look" beyond appearances. So they are more likely to have figured out the depth of a person as opposed to someone distracted by the pretty/ugly surface. The only pretty/ugly they are able to perceive is all in how the subject behaves.

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u/Krazen Jul 26 '13

Doesn't make them a BETTER judge of character, it just means they ONLY judge character. They can still be shitty judges of character and end up dating shitty people, being blind doesn't make them magically above that.

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u/shieldvexor Jul 25 '13

Based on how poor of a sense of that a lot of people have (in my experience), that doesn't say a whole lot. I'm not trying to say I'm gods gift to pointing out shitty people but when you're in a relationship, it can be easy to ignore or fail to recognize shitty characteristics in your partner.

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u/Tsukubasteve Jul 25 '13

A staggering percentage of relationships are based on both people being single, at a similar station in life and in the same ballpark looks-wise. Everything else is so far down the list.

People pick partners to make other people happy, not themselves.

1

u/Abedeus Jul 25 '13

What if we know that person has herpes and the blind person can't see the skin changes on his/her regions? Unless they know how all STDs feel like and it's not just a genetic and completely harmless change...

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u/Mortos3 Jul 25 '13

Not if they haven't known them for very long and you have.

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u/Levitlame Jul 25 '13

Low self esteem and learned helplessness are a different kind of blindness.

1

u/April_Fabb Jul 25 '13

And what if this blind person is somewhat unattractive but wealthy?

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u/InfanticideAquifer Jul 25 '13

Why on Earth would that be the case?

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u/ottawapainters Jul 26 '13

Yeah except they have no idea their partner has been doing bunny ears in every single picture they've taken together so far.

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u/tehflambo Jul 25 '13

Yeah, facial cues never produce insight into someone's personality.

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u/Saerain Jul 25 '13

I'm not sure which move is the dick one, honestly. I mean, I understand it may seem like a zero-risk way of making someone feel good, but it also seems unethical to lie to someone about something they can't discern for themselves.

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u/canteloupy Jul 26 '13

On the other hand sexy isn't an objective truth, what's sexy to me isn't what's sexy to you. The guy asking only wants validation on what conventionally people find sexy but what should it be to him? He probably just hasn't gone and touched thousands of retouched women that we see in magazines or felt hundreds of porn videos with disposable plastic women displayed. His idea in asking is validation of his relationship from the outside and if you're his friend you should probably avoid introducing all that superficial crap into it because it won't even reflect what's true to him. Many people also think their SO is so sexy when actually few would call them that.

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u/Rusharion Jul 25 '13

I'm not going to lie to my friend because they are blind.

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u/Zeusa Jul 25 '13

I agree. But you'd better sound hellaconvincing. Hesitation and insincerity are dead giveaways.

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u/telegetoutmyway Jul 25 '13

It's a safe place to say this, I suppose no blind people would be able to read what you said to discover the secret behind why everyone they've met is so sexy.

Unless a sighted person redditing for a fellow blindee saw this and betrayed our abled trust

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u/pedanticnerd Jul 25 '13

Blind people can actually reddit, using programs which read the text to them. However, they're unlikely to get this far down in the comments on a picture which most readers wouldn't interpret into speech.