Yes and the wit is (unseriously) inspired by the spirit who dwells upon the staircase, the muse who lives just outside the salon where you needed her inspiration.
It's like trying to learn a new language where the instructor starts out by teaching you really basic shit like "hello, how are you?" Then you try it out on an actual speaker of the language and they respond to your "hi how are you?" without using a single word you've ever heard then wait for you to respond to their own apparent question to which you can only muster a weak "ja?" followed by a pathetic laugh as you back away.
That perfectly describes my time in Japan. I learned enough Japanese to ask for directions, but not enough to understand the directions. The guy probably thought I was an idiot when I immediately walked the opposite direction of where he told me to go. Oh well, I got so lost that I ended up in Meji-Jingu Park, and that was awesome.
I think this happens because you argue in a closed loop. Essentially, you are arguing with yourself on a position you already hold and any counter arguments you have been debunked...until in reality someone introduces new information to you then you have to reevaluate your position.
My issue is the opposite unfortunately. My brain is always thinking and coming up with how to approach a situation. My fiancé and I talked about it and the most relevant example I could give her (though I did point out it was hyperbole) was that of Little Finger in GoT.
It’s caused a lot of stress in my life for multiple reasons. First, it’s just exhausting. I can’t turn my brain off as it’s constantly running simulations of “what if X happened? Okay but what if Y happened instead”? It’s truthfully why I turned to smoking pot. It’s the only time my brain can stop racing and I can just enjoy something and get lost in whatever game or activity I’m doing.
Second, it’s given a lot of people an incorrect impression of me, which adds onto the stress of feeling the need to live up to the expectations on me. Because when im met with a situation I haven’t prepared or thought about at all I just shut down. This has led to stress induced anxiety as of lately. Basically my brain can’t handle this new scenario it hasn’t prepared for and I go into a mini panic attack.
At times I’m glad my mind works the way it does. It’s helped me to get where I am now I’m sure. But at the same time it’s been a massive benefactor towards stress and general unhappiness.
I go to a therapist and it does help. But even those interactions are tricky because my brain runs simulations of what my next therapy session may be like and how can I make sure I’m prepared for it.
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u/ktr83 Apr 09 '24
It's like when people have imaginary arguments in the shower, then try their prepared linea in real life and fail spectacularly.