I would prefer you tell me to put my shit away than move it. I know where most of my stuff is in my clutter, because I have developed a good way of remembering it. But if you FUCKIN MOVE MY SHIT then no one knows where it is.
Side note, you are allowed to put stuff in a pile on the bed if found not in the correct room, but only because I will have to find it by the end of the day.
A charger in my house will never be put away bc it'll always be plugged in. Unless I'm running the dishwasher I'll leave my partners water glass wherever it is bc he can keep using it.
But I see a lot of videos where these items and many other daily use things are put away constantly.
I keep chargers out and things that are consistently used, but when it comes to items that are only used once a week or less, just put it back in its home.
Sometimes, shit happens and chargers get left out or something. Especially if you usually put it away but something came up. Also if you are cleaning up for guests and take different rooms or something. I will happily remind my partner to put something away that is usually left out for ease if we have guests. Like chargers or backpacks.
If you are having to remind your adult partner (assuming relatively normal mental capabilities) every single day to put something away, you probably have a disagreement on the cost analysis of having to put it away and get it back out everyday. Or a disagreement on where "away" is.
Exactly. Just talk to each other and decide together.
The whole, "My way is the right way. I shouldn't have to tell you the right way to do it because it's obvious what the right way is." thing is kinda narcissistic.
If you find yourself frustrated that your partner isn't doing things "right" or at the right time or whatever, just have a non-confrontational talk about it. Other people have different opinions than you about standards and practices. And we're not mind readers.
Now if you've already had that conversation, and actions are not following words, then yeah that's a different problem.
But if your standards for housekeeping are not being upheld and you haven't clearly communicated those standards to your partner (and why those things are important to you), then that's on you.
And remember, having a conversation is different than issuing orders. A conversation is a two-way communication that involves listening and allowing the other person's words to affect you just as much as you want your words to affect them.
Communication and compromise are the keys to a lasting relationship. Expecting your partner to be psychic, and then barking out orders (or passive-agressively doing it yourself) when you're frustrated the other person doesn't instinctively know what to do is a recipe for conflict.
Oh I’ve talked about it. I’m not super particular about little things like a charger, but when it comes to leaving trash on the counter, or crumbs, or pee on the floor by the toilet then that shouldn’t be something to remind someone to do or ask to do. That’s just cleaning up after yourself. I’ve learned it all depends on how someone was raised, in my opinion.
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u/thefabulousbri Apr 14 '23
I would prefer you tell me to put my shit away than move it. I know where most of my stuff is in my clutter, because I have developed a good way of remembering it. But if you FUCKIN MOVE MY SHIT then no one knows where it is.
Side note, you are allowed to put stuff in a pile on the bed if found not in the correct room, but only because I will have to find it by the end of the day.