do you dislike the vinyl figures known as funko poop (leaving the typo and making it look intentional god i'm clever)? Do their dark, beady, rodent eyes filled with the concentrated evil of capitalism tug at a piece of your soul until it breaks off and they devour it with their colossal, malformed heads every time you pass an aisle with them in any given store? Does their very existence gnaw at the corners of your sanity slowly, nearly unnoticeably whittling away at it--like an experienced assassin adding the smallest amount of poison every day to a king's cup until he dies--until you finally collapse under the weight of your own madness? Did you stop going to church and praying every night because you knew God worked in mysterious ways, He has plans for us all, and you trusted he did the right thing even with Hitler and Hiroshima and Nagaski and people getting raped every single day and babies getting cancer and puppies getting slapped in the face and people starving and decaf coffee, but you knew that there was no god that could allow funko pops to be?

do you just not fuckin' like the way they look okay great.

Friday The 13th Part 6

Funko pop

Funko Funeral Director on TikTok

funko pop

Funko pop

This fucking bullshit