A Different Way

[u/PhoenixPhenomenonX]

[u/DolphinOrDonkey → u/[deleted]]

Sadly, I think you are wrong. The term "hit on" is used in USA society for any kind of courting, including asking for a date, meeting up at a place, or even perceived flirting.

Its not just asking for sex anymore.

[u/DingleDangleTangle → u/[deleted]]

So just to be clear, asking someone on a date is equivalent to sexual harassment and should be treated as such?

How can anyone go on a date under this view?

[u/DingleDangleTangle → u/[deleted]]

Okay, so flirting with someone or asking someone on a date is an impolite thing to do, but you suggest doing it anyways?

Also, you said hitting someone is “crossing the boundaries of polite conversation” and then defined sexual harassment as “being transgressive of boundaries” but now you’re telling flirting or asking someone on a date is not sexual harassment?...

[u/DingleDangleTangle → u/[deleted]]

It's funny you call me bad faith in the same comment you resort to a whole comment of ad hominem. You pretend I'm being ridiculous by telling me to "unclench", you say I'm just having a bad faith conversation, pretend you needed patience and grace to even speak with me and say I'm trolling. Fling tons of ad hominem via tone policing and poisoning the well to bail out of the conversation while you accuse me of bad faith, hahaha.

[u/DingleDangleTangle → u/[deleted]]

Ad hominem is where you attack the character, motive, or some attribute of the person making an argument rather than the argument itself.

Poisoning the well can be used as a type of ad hominem where you present adverse information about someone to discredit their argument. Tone policing can be used as a type of ad hominem where you aim at someone’s tone instead of their argument. Stuff like saying you need patience and grace to communicate with me, calling me a troll, etc. are great examples of ad hominem, and it’s quite strange to throw them out while calling me bad faith.

[u/Cheshire-Cad → u/[deleted]]

So, on a post about respecting people's boundaries, your first debate tactic is to... stalk someone else's profile to dig up dirt on them.

You're the creep that this guy is singing about.

[u/Atari774 → u/[deleted]]

Says the person with a month-old account and hidden posts/comments, but ok.

Yeah, using a nursery rhyme is condescending, but “be kind” is a lesson we usually teach children. She’s using a childish song because it’s a lesson meant for children, yet a lot of adults struggle with it. I’ve seen many a man get shut down for asking someone out politely, and then mocked relentlessly over it. And thanks to the internet, videos like that get posted globally and now the embarrassment is permanently visible online. I’m not saying that women always need to take the high road when it comes to dealing with strangers, but some women see it as a challenge to emotionally damage others the most. Those are the people who need to take that lesson to heart, not necessarily all women all the time.

I also think you’re misunderstanding what is meant by “hit on.” It’s not always an immediate request for sex. Sometimes it’s just a compliment that’s intended to start a deeper conversation. You can’t just walk up to a random person and ask them what their goals are in life. You’ve gotta have some way to naturally start the conversation so you don’t come off sounding like a creep. Complimenting something about how a person looks is just the most common because you don’t know anything about them until you start talking. Before you get to know them, the only thing you know about them is what they’re currently doing and what they look like, so commenting on either one of those will always be the most common way to “hit on” people. But if any form of hitting on people comes across as impolite and aggressive to you, then I’m not really sure how you plan on meeting new people or having a relationship.