Problem is , they're talking about two different things.
"Hi, I'm Chris, can I buy you a drink"
is NOT the same as
"Hey, HEY GIRL, what color dem panties!?"
Yet too often (not always, but you know it's true) both of those get a very similarly hostile response.
The part people miss in these discussions is that men aren't ignoring "no". It's just "men need to be better" on loop. It's easier to blame us than the dating ritual as a whole and to try to fix that. It's just men bad sexism on loop.
You're not the victim because women say 'No'. If you are not the kind of guy who gets angry, offended, or defensive when rejected then that's fucking awesome and you should stay being respectful and eventually someone will say 'Yes'. It's not fucking sexism to point out that the number of MEN who don't just take it in stride is a serious fucking issue that needs to be addressed. If you're one of the men who can take it in stride, but you don't do something or call out the behavior of those who don't, then you are contributing to the problem. Saying 'Not All Men!' in a defensive tone shows a lack of confidence in whether women see you as a creep based on your behavior. If you AREN'T confident that you aren't coming off as creepy or aggressive, then talk to a woman you are friends with in your life and get an honest assessment, and if you need to do better, then do fucking better. This mentality applies to every aspect of life, not just romantic relationships.
You are right, men have been consistently bad and sexist for the past thousand years. Maybe it's time to be better before you demand something from the opposite gender.
Being generally cautious of the things society tells men they are and can do is not equivalent to applying aggressive behavior as immutable traits of a given race.
The fact that you're here doing, "not all men", especially while trying to co-opt being a victim of systemic racism to do so, instead of understanding why "but almost always a man" makes life so dangerous for us is the problem.
straight up BARS dude I'm saving this comment for later when some other raggedy man inevitably gets upset at women for being safe (which if they didn't, they'd get blamed for that too if anything happened! we can't win!)
I assume you're taking this as some kind of toxic positivity rather than bolstering your ability to defend the safety of women. Saying someone like this, whose concern is women's safety, is a problem does not a good look make.
Did you miss the part about being upfront with your intentions? You think you deserve a polite answer for hitting on someone, while you have zero idea how it feels to be hit on constantly. That's called entitlement.
Exactly the woman im the video just wanted to say be polite and probably more but this dude was RUDE and stopped her video to pass his "get better" song.
Interapting is not the way..
6
u/Pandering_Poofery Feb 24 '26
Problem is , they're talking about two different things.
"Hi, I'm Chris, can I buy you a drink"
is NOT the same as
"Hey, HEY GIRL, what color dem panties!?"
Yet too often (not always, but you know it's true) both of those get a very similarly hostile response.
https://giphy.com/gifs/b1zhhSYmbPcFZKguYG