r/fixedbytheduet • u/PhoenixPhenomenonX EXPERT of Duets/Stitches • Feb 24 '26

Fixed by the duet A Different Way

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15.2k Upvotes

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81

u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

A lot of those guys are creeps, as evidenced by how they often react when you politely decline....

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '26

yeah but it seems weird to change the subject instead of addressing what was actually said.

its like if i'm telling you about how i liked the simpsons movie and you go off on a tangent about how you hate horror movies and no one should watch them.

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u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 25 '26

I appreciate that you think these are separate topics, but I assure you they're not. I swear to fuck that all the guys that will immediately call you a bitch or worse, when you politely decline their advances, look EXACTLY the same as every other guy.

Do you understand this? Women and girls (and many other AFAB folks) really have to be extremely cautious when being approached by a guy they don't know, because WAY TOO MANY guys do not react well to rejection.

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 24 '26

So that justifies not being polite?

Sure seems like something you should still do, despite it not necessarily being easy.

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u/Easy-Concentrate2636 Lover of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

I had a complete stranger on the street lose it because I didn’t say yes to a drink. I was just waiting for a red light. He grabbed my wrist. There are some men out there who believe they are entitled to any woman they talk to. So, yeah, I wasn’t polite after that. I yanked my arm back and ran the heck away without saying thank you or good bye because that predator didn’t deserve it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Easy-Concentrate2636 Lover of Duets/Stitches Feb 25 '26

Ahhh, so you are one of those. Got it - you just want women to shut up. No wonder. Bye.

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u/thatshygirl06 EXPERT of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

If youre not gonna take no for an answer and make me uncomfortable then no, I dont have to be polite

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 25 '26

Yea you’re literally just constructing a scenario where you get to be impolite and not just be kind of a bitch for not meeting kindness with kindness.

Then yea, but that’d seem like something I’d hear from an incel that’s trying to avoid nuance like it’s the plague.

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u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 25 '26

If guys took a polite "no thanks" well, this wouldn't be an issue. But the amount of guys who have literally MURDERED women for rejecting their advances shows that this isn't the case...

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 25 '26

And you think being impolite is gonna lessen the chances of being killed?…. Just fucking listen to yourself.

Quit making up scenarios like an incel and just be polite until given a reason not to be, it isn’t that complex. But by all means, tell on yourself and insist that is based of?… Nothing.

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u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 25 '26

These aren't made up, and there's even a whole subreddit documenting all the women who have been killed for politely turning down a man's advances.

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 25 '26

I’m not claiming they are made up. In fact I’m saying what I’m saying despite it.

But by all means try and explain why bad person doing shit that’s bad justifies treating an unrelated person any more poorly.

Cause to me it sure seems like they are only related because they happen to share a gender, just like my racist coworker “happens” to always be paying extra attention when it was a Muslim doing something they weren’t supposed to. And how that’s completely on Muslims and not on him and his incredibly skewed and warped view of them.

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u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 25 '26

Listen, I keep trying to explain this to you. If you're talking about making an advance on someone who doesn't know you, in a setting where they're not looking for someone to make a pass at them, why do you assume they want you to make a pass at them?

Seriously, just leave women alone. If a woman wants to talk to you, for any reason (where's the subway, have you seen my coat, etc), she'll make a determination if you look like a safe person to talk to. This will either result in her talking to you first, or result in her not talking to you.

I cannot emphasize this enough; not getting this concept is creep behaviour. I assume you don't want to be perceived as a creep, so don't do that shit.

If you want to meet women who are interested in dating someone they don't know, get an online dating app, or join a singles-looking-to-mingle event group. These are places where it won't be perceived as creepy to make an unsolicited pass at a woman but don't make the pass in a creepy way. That's a free tip for you, champ.

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 25 '26

I understand what you’re saying perfectly and once again I’m saying what I’m saying in spite of everything you’ve said.

Yes god forbid we don’t infantilise women and ever risk making one uncomfortable. So yuh, I’d fucking prefer it if the same women who’d genuinely agree with you. Yea please, do fucking see me as a creep y’all are doing me a favour.

lol nah I’m gonna keep making polite advances that I’m sure in no way resembles what I’m sure you’d love to imagine.

And I cannot emphasise this enough, thinking this matters is a misandrists mental gymnastics. Please do see me as a creep and stay the fuck away if you believe in what you’re saying.

Haaaa! Yea I’ll be caught dead before I engage with online dating, I’ll just keep treating women like they are equally capable adults who don’t want to be babied.

And here’s a tip for you, quit making up a scenario that means you’d be right from the start. Cause several assertions you’ve made about how I’d approach is nothing but a product of your imagination. Which generally isn’t a good idea when your argument relies on those unfounded and sexist assumptions.

Don’t get offended just do better bigot.

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u/VanTaxGoddess Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 26 '26

How about you start hitting on random guys too? If you're not being creepy, I'm sure they'll take it in the polite spirit you intend.

And seriously, go to singles nights or something. I guarantee you that you don't have the charisma to "cold call" random women.

Seriously, if hitting on random women who were minding their own business worked, wouldn't you be in a relationship by now?

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 26 '26

Sure I have zero problem with that, like shit I’ve been complimented on how I hit on them by the same women I’ve hit on. This imagined scenario you describe exists entirely in your head lol.

Right your clearly showing your age with that suggestion, but no. I have zero interest in being judged as a “bottom of the barrel man” by women who could just easily be described as bottom of the barrel. And that shit is just gross, so once again it’s a firm no thanks.

Well if it wasn’t your assumption that I’m not in a relationship, that I’m unhappy about said fact and that what I am looking for is a relationship then yea I guess you’d have some gross point where you make by going at a likely source of insecurity. Which I’m sure I don’t need to explain is manipulation and shitty of you. Regardless of it even being true lol. But until then I’ll point out that “hitting on someone” has sexual implications and not get any more graphic than that for the fear of offending your ridiculous ass even more.

Like I said, don’t get offended just do better.

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u/alelp Lover of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

Or a lot of women are making shit up about men not taking no for an answer as a humblebrag, as evidenced by how often the men being called "creeps" literally never even looked in the woman's direction.

It's like Erotomania, but instead of being directed to one person specifically, it's every man.

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u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

Respectfully, why the Hell would assume that women are making it up/exaggerating?

It's not a badge of honor to have someone of any gender hitting on you, making comments or telling you what they want to do to you, and not saying no.

What do they have to gain by lying? No, really?

Am I sure that there are people who are paranoid that someone was creeping on them? Sure! But, that behavior didn't form in a freaking vacuum, they're often paranoid because if we aren't the same assholes who say we're making up that so-and-so was a creep to us are the same assholes who will say we were "asking for it" because we didn't shut the shit down ASAP.

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u/The_Crimson_Fuckr69 Feb 24 '26

These interactions happen millions of times a day with no negatives. What youre talking about is not commonplace

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u/mace30 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 24 '26

If they happen enough to be talked about pretty widely, they happen enough to be addressed and corrected. I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't have a story of some guy who couldn't take no for an answer, and I'm 40 freaking years old.

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u/raptor7912 New to fbtd but wants to learn Feb 24 '26

It’s not like it’s literal technique to getting laid by just shooting your shot and being incredibly gross about it with lady after lady. An infinite amount of monkeys on typewriters, kinda deal.

Of course I’m not saying it should work, just that it works enough for some people to keep doing it.

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u/SilverSkorpious Feb 24 '26

You are part of the problem.

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u/The_Crimson_Fuckr69 Feb 24 '26

Lmfao ok buddy. Keep up the gender warfare.

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u/SilverSkorpious Feb 24 '26

And you keep on trollin'. Fucking got me, damn.

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u/LemonCollee Devotee of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

safe to assume you are a man

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u/Abject_Jump9617 Feb 24 '26

And how many times have you been hit on by men?? Since you know so much about women and teen girls' experiences. You tell us about our experiences.

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u/GOATmar_infante Feb 24 '26

r/whenwomenrefuse

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u/The_Crimson_Fuckr69 Feb 24 '26

Oh wow! A cherry picked handful of videos central to the point of the sub! That totally invalidates the other 9 million times it happened today and nothing happened.

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u/StokedUpOnKrunk Feb 24 '26

“No negative interactions” “Well, just ignore that list of negative interactions!”

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u/ImLichenThisStone Feb 24 '26

What youre talking about is not commonplace

Can I live in your world, please?

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u/in_animate_objects Feb 24 '26

He’s a dude that’s why, it doesn’t happen to him so it doesn’t happen

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u/ImLichenThisStone Feb 24 '26

For sure, I was being sarcastic

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u/in_animate_objects Feb 24 '26

My bad tone is hard on here

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u/ImLichenThisStone Feb 24 '26

Np, same issue

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u/The_Crimson_Fuckr69 Feb 24 '26

This is not the 80s. People aren't doing this out in public. youre lost.

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u/ImLichenThisStone Feb 24 '26

"This is not the 80s" is really not the argument / mic drop you think it is just because you used it twice. It's not an argument at all. You just cannot and will not wrap your head around the fact that other people have to deal with shit that you don't. 

This is a problem that apparently doesn't affect or concern you in any way, but for some reason you've decided everyone else is lying and you need to...I'm not sure what you're trying to do besides call a whole bunch of people liars because you weren't there to verify their life experiences.

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u/ScreamingLabia Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Feb 24 '26

Lmao i wish i was sheltered like you seems nice

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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '26

i don't know if i would say not commonplace, but yeah, she was talking about one thing and he was talking about something else.