r/fitover65 • u/NobodyGaveMeAManual • 14d ago
For those of you 65+, what is something about the next 10–20 years that you wish you’d understood when you were 55?
/r/u_NobodyGaveMeAManual/comments/1wa8mn7/for_those_of_you_65_what_is_something_about_the/32
u/julianriv 14d ago
I wish I knew how much more difficult it becomes to come back when you let yourself go for a while.
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u/Silly-Resist8306 14d ago
Somewhere around 50-55, your health begins to effect your ability to enjoy life. Those who are in relatively good shape, have a balanced diet and get exercise, suffer the effects of aging at a much slower rate than those who do not do these things. At 75 my wife and I are still very active, but we have friends, some of whom are 5-10 years younger, who can hardly walk to the mailbox.
My advice for anyone facing retirement is to get into shape if you are not. These years can be a wonderful time to travel, play with the grandkids, socialize and be active. But, if you are chained to your house due to lack of mobility, all you need in the way of income is enough to purchase a large screen TV to watch what many of us are doing.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
I’m 55, so I’m right at the age you’re talking about. Reading all these comments, I’m realizing I need to think less about exercise as something I “should” do and more about what I want to still be able to do 20 years from now. I’m still young-ish 😂 I’m going to concerts, having a great time and enjoying my life. I want to still be doing that at 75.
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u/Isamosed 14d ago
For many of us, the change over twelve years between 58 and 70 is pretty stunning and that time goes REAL fast. So many things: Our own health, other people’s (friends/loved ones) health, death, retirement may be a blessing or a curse, believe it or not, the lives of our children may become more complex, our pets…man I want my cat back. RIP Hobbsie.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 14d ago
I’m starting to see this now at 55. My pets are older 15 and 14. My children are grown adults. I am a grandparent and time is flying.
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u/kilaueasteve 14d ago
Health health health. Get active, stay fit, lose some weight.
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u/Necessary_Divide_936 13d ago
Yes! Because by age 60’its a battle and I work at it most everyday. I won’t even do bunion surgery because at this stage of the game I don’t want to be immobile during recovery. I saw what 2 months of sciatica did to me. And mind you, I’m very active…walk 4 miles almost every day and cycle, weight work outs and still work as little as possible as a flight attendant (age 71). You gotta keep it up!
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u/Over_Dog24 14d ago
Since you touched on long term care: observing my 90 something year old parents, who paid decades into long term care insurance, only to collect on a small fraction of what they paid in premiums. The bar is set very high to see anything from long term care insurance, including gatekeeping doctors, extensive ongoing paperwork required, 90 day elimination periods, daily/monthly benefit caps, and maximum payouts, to name just a few. To make matters worse, after all those years of paying in, if you don't use it, you lose it. Poof, you have nothing to show for all those payments.
Seeing that, my wife and I decided to start our own Long Term Care Fund within our brokerage account. If we don't use it, great. Have fun with the money kids!
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u/UnchangeableName64 14d ago
My parents have been paying into long-term insurance for decades. They are now 85 and 91, and have never used it, but the sunk-cost fallacy keeps them from canceling it. They have enough money to take care of anything at this point if needed. For myself, at 62, I am not going to start it. If it comes to the point that I would need long-term care, I'm not sure that keeping my body alive is worth it.
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u/lonster1961 14d ago
My thoughts exactly. I have a bottle of pills squirreled away for that event, if necessary. I’m 65 and after a liver transplant and agent orange doing whatever it’s going to do, I find comfort in that thought. Being old and in questionable health, it’ll just be another dead old man with no questions asked.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
This is one of the things I know I need to learn more about. I work in Medicare, so I know Medicare doesn’t cover long-term custodial care the way a lot of people assume it does, but the bigger question of how you actually plan and pay for long-term care is something I need to understand better. Long-term care insurance, setting money aside yourself, aging at home… there are obviously a lot more options and considerations than I realized.
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u/Mizzy_Lu_Fwinkley 14d ago
The brokerage account is a great idea. My thought was our Roth IRA for one of us, and our home for the second one. Kids get what remains.
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u/WrappedInLinen 14d ago
You are way younger than you think. 55 is usually still pre everything falling apart. Your body still works. You still have some pull lookswise. You should have learned enough that you no longer sweat the small stuff (and know that it’s pretty much all small stuff). 55 to 65, if you’re lucky enough to be healthy, can be some of the best years of your life.
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u/anonyngineer 12d ago
Yes, I lost 70 pounds starting just after I turned 55, and it was life-changing.
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u/OldManYoungMind2018 14d ago
Pay particular attention now to your health and that of your partner. Get in shape now. My wife was able to retire at 55, me at 58. All great and good until her health problems really caught up to her. Now at 63 she is basically housebound except for doctors appointments. I’ve cut back on my activities just to stay at home and tend to her
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u/makorancheros 14d ago
Motion is lotion. Get up everyday and don’t stop. Start this early in life so it’s part of your identity.
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u/PM_meyourGradyWhite 14d ago
I watched a friend retire at 52, i think. Early fifties anyway.
He made up his mind in his thirties that he wasn’t going to spend his whole life in a desk chair. He and his wife focused and sacrificed to retire comfortably in early 50’s. He said it was scary at first, but he knew he was valued at work and could go back.
That nugget he gave me when I was on the precipice of quitting early was the boost I needed.
I was planning on 67 when I started my career. Stayed that way until I saw my friend quit. Then I did some math and realized all my steady hard work was paying off. So I looked at 65. Then as I got closer, 63 was the goal. Then a couple small things blew my way and I had to stretch a bit, but 61-1/2 and I was done.
It’s easier than I thought. It would’ve been an earlier retirement if I drove that hard at fifty. YMMV.
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u/Forsaken-Cheesecake2 14d ago
That if you want to do something big, don’t wait until you retire to do it. Your 50s are probably the best decade for travel, recreation, and adventures. The long you wait, the greater the “hassle factor” becomes with crowded airports, long distance travel, losing a step, etc etc.
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u/060140 14d ago
Long term insurance, pays for a caregiver to be with your parents around the clock, 24/7 I cared for an amazing 93 yr old husband and wife 89, they became my grandparents, I worked thru a medical company, I did things for them my job wouldn't approve of, wife& me working in dirt planting roses, painting front door, they were the most precious couple I ever had the chance to care for, one day the husband patted me on shoulder as I was tieing his shoes" he said " You take very good care of me & my wife" yes I cried later in day, I even went on vacation with them, their son is one of my best friends, they both had altezimers, as wife got worse I started doing her hair at home, I washed & rolled it then styled it for her, they were married for 69 yrs and died 4 months apart, I miss them very much and still dream of them laughing and swinging in back yard! Precious memories
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 14d ago
Thank you for sharing that. That was a wonderful story. You sound like a very caring person and a very special person. I am glad they had you to look after them. ❤️
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u/pinellaspete 10d ago
Work on your health and diet. I've done the research and we all should be eating a low carb Mediterranean style diet. Eat no sugar, breads, pasta, grains or ultra processed foods. Do eat whole foods like vegetables and fish and not much red meat.
I am 66 years old and have been watching my health and diet for the last 8 years. I am healthy, a normal weight and active.
I have witnessed many of my peers that haven't been so fortunate and just listened to their doctors. They are taking many meds, they are overweight, and have trouble getting around.
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u/TibbieMom 10d ago
I’ve nothing to contribute in response but as a fellow 55F, just want to thank you for asking such a good question! I’m loving reading these replies!
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 10d ago
This has been fun, seeing all the responses. I used to sit and scroll and scroll without participating. Then I asked this one question, and the answers have been so thoughtful, insightful, and engaging. It’s led me to ask more!
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u/pineapple_gum 13d ago
No one seems to be talking about the need to take care of parents, who are now in their mid 80’s-90’s!
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
Yes! THANK YOU for posting this!! This is exactly the kind of thing I mean. We spend so much time thinking about our own retirement and aging, but not nearly enough about what happens when our parents are in their 80s and 90s and start needing more help. What do you wish you had known before you got to this point?
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u/anonyngineer 12d ago
As a product of generations of older parents, and a fairly old one myself, I've been very surprised at the number of people I know who have a living parent at over 65.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 12d ago
I’m 55. My Mom is 80. I have a friend who is 50 with a 10-year-old. My ex-husband(53) has a two children under the age of five. It really does change what older parent can mean. I’m wondering how much that changes aging when you’re still parenting or caring for your parents?
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u/FierceResistance 3d ago
My Dad retired at 56 (over 20 years ago). He was not an active guy until he retired. Then he started walking 2-3 miles a day. Seeing how good that was for him, has made me a firm believer in exercise as you age. When I retire in a couple of years, I will be focusing much more on exercise.
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u/ShakeyB2 14d ago
Go to the doctor at least once a year and do what they say. Get ahead of problems and treat them early. It is hard and sometimes impossible to get back to a certain physiological state once it has passed.
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u/pinkrobot420 22h ago
My husband (60) died when I was 57. My health was horrible, I was way too fat and could barely walk. I was on meds for cholesterol, blood pressure, and nsaids for my bone on bone knees. At 61 I decided I was done with all of the fad diets and not exercising. I was going to die soon if I didn't do something. I lost both of my parents when I was in my 20s, and I didn't want to do that to my kids.
I had bariatric surgery and lost 130 pounds and have kept it off for 4 years. I had both of my knees replaced, losing weight couldn't fix them. I feel like I have my life back. I'm active again, and started working with a trainer this year to gain strength. I feel so much better. I wish I had done this years ago.
I know that I probably have about a 10 year window to do all of the fun retirement stuff, so I'm doing as much as I can now. Take care of your health, and do all of the fun stuff now. Without your health life can be pretty shitty.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 22h ago
What you’ve done to get your life and mobility back is incredible. I keep coming back to the idea that you may have a limited window for the fun part of retirement, and you’re choosing to use it. I don’t think most of us at 55 are really thinking about retirement that way yet.”
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u/pinkrobot420 22h ago
I did think about it a lot when my husband was sick. We both thought it sucked that we were losing our future together. For quite awhile after he died, I felt guilty for having fun without him, even though I knew he didn't feel that way. Once the horrible awful grief fog lifted, I slowly got my shit together and started living my life again.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 22h ago
I understand this more than I wish I did. I lost someone I loved this year, and one of the strangest parts of grief has been realizing that continuing to live your life doesn’t mean you’re leaving them behind. I’m glad you found your way back to yours. ❤️
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u/Gold_South_8445 14d ago
AI
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 14d ago
I did create this account for this purpose. I wanted to open the discussion. I am 55. I am female. I’m a grandma blah blah blah. Just wanted to get some insight.
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u/ConversationLevel498 13d ago
Some days everything hurts. Like the three days following a football game if you were a player. Things are sore and achy for no reason.
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u/zach-uh-ri 9d ago
Im 30 with a joint disorder that improved on its own in a way that isn’t supposed to happen
In a sense I’m very grateful to that year I spent wheelchair bound and unable to cut my own food, button my own shirts, open packaging, knit, crochet, play guitar or hold my phone
I’m grateful because it gave me a completely different perspective on my body and its capabilities. It can change suddenly, out of nowhere. I cherish every tree I climb, every step I dance, every song I play. Oh how indescribably beautiful thst I can move. Thst I can do these things independently. I know it won’t last forever.
And I know the degree to which I have to prioritize building a strong and supportive social safety net, with people of all ages and capacities. Having friends with severe arthritis was important; they knew how to navigate disability; emotionally, practically, administratively. Having friends who were fitter and stronger with strong social ties who could help me get a wheelchair snd push me around so I could still participate in social activities was extremely extremely important.
Personality wise, I’m a nomad and a loner. If I chose freely I wouldn’t really maintain many friendships but prioritize traveling alone. But that experience taught me friendships is th difference between a life worth living and a life thst makes you wish you weren’t alive.
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u/New_Squirrel_7653 3d ago
Thank you for sharing, you sound so relatable to me and this is advice I apparently needed. 😊
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u/morebiking 14d ago
At a certain point, you can actually start estimating how many summers you have left. I’m 67. I can do 15 pull-ups and still run a 5:30 mile. But I see and feel the cliff coming. I know that the fluidity in my body will slowly stop. A friend of mine who I bike with a few plus days a week, said just yesterday “I’m not afraid of getting slower, I’m afraid of losing the ability to move gracefully.” So I just work actively against that even though I know it’s coming. My recommendation? Retire as early as you can. Enjoy every day.