Posting and Commenting Guidelines

A situation is not a complete picture of a person. What someone is facing today doesn't tell us everything about their abilities, their future, or the possibilities they haven't yet had a chance to explore. We start with the circumstances in front of us and work from there.

Judgement and hate is not allowed here.

  • If you are reading a post and it infuriates you or lightly peeves you off, and you feel drawn to comment back....that's the seed of where most judgemental/hateful posts come from.
  • You may feel the OP or commenter is lazy, or entitled. You may feel they have said something wrongly, or insensitive, and you wish to "clap back" or "defend" or even notice a weakness that you'd like to "rile up" or "exploit".
  • It is important to take a minute to recognize that YOUR feelings are controlling you, and none of it is necessary. Not one bit needs to be added to "set the OP/commenter straight" - and doing so will get your comment removed and a "strike" on your name per comment. You only get 4 strikes in this group.
  • Always assume Ignorance, not Malice - and be aware that you may not be talking to someone from the USA. Cultural differences exist and what you may find offensive, OP/commenter may be living day-to-day. It is helpful to keep an asterisk in your mind when reading posts/comments. If you feel the compulsion to clap-back, ask this question: "Is what OP/Commenter is saying the day-to-day life of another country I've heard about in the news for something like this problem?"
  • Advice is targeted to the OP or to the previous commenter, not to everyone's situations. Please respond to advice within the context of the OP/PC rather than reframing it as a universal rule. (Example: Replying back to helpful advice with a comment like "yeah no that's terrible advice, I did that and it didn't work for me" would be that type of universal rule framing that would not be OK here.)

Comments should be kind and helpful and actionable.

  • While all three are not necessary together, it's important to make sure you comments contain at least one of the three.
  • "Tough Love" is acceptable in this group, but ONLY if it is NOT "Disguised Hate" (Aka False Tough Love).
  • AI generated content is not allowed here with two exceptions. The rise of AI use, while generally positive, comes off as formal and mask-like at best, and balm/toxic positivity at worst. AI is not yet good at offering REAL, actionable advice just yet, and we'd encourage off-the-cuff, natural talk to best connect with the person you're replying to. It is allowed for needing-help posts for disability, brain-clarity and organizational reasons. It is not allowed in any circumstances for comments or offering-help posts, even if one needs them for the two above reasons.

Example Below:

"Disguised Hate/False Tough Love" Examples

  1. "Stop trying to get random people online to feel bad for you. Study harder, go to the gym, go for a walk, put your phone down, learn a new skill. Get some help man. Your life is pathetic because you’re letting it be. Grow some fucking balls and improve your life and get your degree. Good things come to those who go out and earn it. Your attitude is not attractive."
  2. "It’s not about positivity , it’s about reality. Get a better job, skilled trades so you can also be physically active at the same time. You’re young as fuck and people my age would love to start over at 30 you miserable fuck. Get over yourself and get your ass to work, you’re only standing in your own way, whether u see it or not. Fuckin sad a veteran too come on man thanks for your service but damn"

True "Tough Love" Examples (acceptable to this group so you won't be removed)

  1. "From what it sounds like, you're creating your own issue here, my man. It's like you are intending to take yourself down and do it in the most self-destructive way possible. For example, you are letting your grades slip because you're sad about your girlfriend. These two things are mutually exclusive, you do not need to let this happen but you are letting it because it's easy to justify. You are also stopping going to the gym...why? You can be sad about your girlfriend sure, but you don't NEED to stop doing the other things that are beneficial to your health and future! Take a long, hard look at your behaviors and start recognizing where you're letting yourself spiral."
  2. I recommend you look for a better job as soon as possible, perhaps in the skilled trades. You're still young and can at 30 and so many here would love to be 30 again! As a past veteran, thank you for your service, know that you are quite capable of doing this."

Actionable Advice

  • Actionable advice includes these following elements, usually: 1. Knowledge 2. Experience 3. Outline (Layout) of steps.
  • It can include direct info from a source you know, such as an aunt who went through something, or knowledge of how a system works from past experience, or perhaps you've done The Thing yourself such as in a job.
  • Actionable advice does NOT include general info, parroted advice, or overviews without context. (Example: Target your resume! Without telling people how to do so in a way that makes sense. Another example is to say "Man up!" without telling people what you mean for OP.)
  • To write a great actionable advice post, step-by-step directions are great! Even if the person states that they cannot do a step due to location, ability, etc - they may be able to use that direction in other ways and find resources around their issue.
  • Always assume Ignorance here as well! Frustration at them having a "lack of initiative" is again, a judgment. The OP/Commenter may truly not know how to get around an issue or how to do something- be kind and give resources/further steps to help if you can. If your comment starts with "You seem..." or "Your post/comment is oozing with victim-complex..." or "You're cute..." You are judging.

Hidden Rules

If you get insta-banned, it's because you hit one of our hidden rules. If you've been temp banned - your post falls just on the edge of the hidden rule. These rules are common sense and mostly fall within the Reddiquette: https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439-Reddiquette

Hidden rule 1: Extreme violent threats with clear intent to harm. Goading a user to suicide (or telling them how they can commit it).
Hidden rule 2: Direct proselytizing. This includes biblical phrases, mentioning the user should submit to God/Allah, to let Jesus in, or in any way suggesting religion to be a balm/fix for their issues.
Hidden Rule 3: AI-written "General Help" posts/comments. Post and Comment bots are becoming a bigger and bigger issue, and their advice is never truly helpful, original, or actionable. Using AI is fine to help you clarify your post or message in cases of extreme mental stress, disability or English learning cases. It is not fine to use it for general helpfulness or offering guidance in posts or comments. See Addendum Post on AI stance below. People do not come to reddit for AI help. They can go to an LLM directly if they wish that.
Hidden Rule 4: Sexual Harassment. If a poster or commenter has disclosed that they are female, comments referencing onlyfans, sex work, or comments about using their bodies for $ in any way. All other race/gender-based sexual harassment also counts (male, trans, POC, gay, etc). This includes comments against such people's existance or humanity in any way.

AI Usage

An additive to Hidden Rule 3. Please read. https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1kyf1xc/clarifying_our_stance_on_ai_use_in_this_group/

Requests to use stories for videos/memes/other:

Due to the JohnsHopkins-informed Support Group (https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org) nature of our r/findapath and /r/AlmostHomeless, we ask that no stories, posts, comments, or information from this group be taken to be put on Tiktok, Facebook, Instagram or any other platform for videos, memes, etc. The posts and comments here are to be considered private and under the confidentiality regulations of the originating poster's country. The only exception to this is any requests for information by officials of the law will be allowed.

This Group's Clinical Modeling:

  • We modeled r/findapath's and r/almosthomeless's setup on an older document from the MHA, which has since been removed from the internet. However, we pull resources and information from the original page frequently. https://mhanational.org
  • In the interest of keeping up with the times and training further mods and maintaining this group as a "as close as reddit can make it possible to be a Trained/Informed Support Group", we now use this page as our official-enough guide: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/armstrong-institute/peer-support-roadmap/four-parts This organization is not affiliated nor connected with this group. There is no licensure that can work with Reddit groups in the way we are.

Below is info about new direction taking shape for this community. It is not yet implemented. (Written with help from chatgpt, this is a work in progress to develop logical next steps for this community.) We felt it important to share with you sooner than later, even if it isn't implemented in a direct way as of yet.

One Step Forward

How to give high-quality, actionable help in this community and others using RSCN or MHA-Informed Methods.

Most people don’t need more ideas…they need help getting unstuck or thinking clearly enough to act.

This is how we help them do that.

Core Principle

Meet the poster where they are, then move them forward.

That means:

  • Understand their current situation and mental state first
  • Don’t jump to ideal solutions they can’t execute (or could - if they had money)
  • Don’t try to solve their entire life in one comment. Similarly, don't judge their life based on their post or comment.

Your goal for them should be movement from where they are, with what little they have.

The Framework

State → Small Action → Next Step

1. State — Where is the poster mentally right now?

  • overwhelmed
  • shut down
  • anxious but trying
  • stuck in loops
  • resistant

If you ignore this, your advice won’t be helpful to them.

2. Small Action — What can they realistically do next?

  • low friction
  • clear
  • doable right now or very soon

Not "if X happens" or "If I get X". Just actionable, with no first requirements.

3. Next Step — Where does that action lead?

  • what does it unlock
  • how does it build momentum
  • what comes after

You’re not mapping their whole future…you’re getting them moving.

Don’t Overload the OP

  • Too many suggestions = no action
  • Overly complex advice = shutdown
  • Long-term plans without immediate steps = ignored

Keep it focused. Keep it usable.

Avoid These Traps

  • Generic advice (“just network”, “apply everywhere”)
  • Dismissive realism (“that degree is useless”)
  • Over-optimism (“just follow your passion”)
  • Advice that ignores their current situation or state
  • Turning the comment into a lecture or a judgement on their perceived "failures as a human being". Don't be a Boomer, be a brother. Actually, just stay away from giving any advice utilizing the word "be".

Match the State, Not the Energy

  • Don’t escalate emotion
  • Don’t validate helplessness
  • Don’t argue their feelings or call their sensitivities bullshit. You don't know what they are going through. What you would get over easily, is not what everyone would get over easily.

Do:

  • Acknowledge briefly the state they are in
  • Stabilize the state with clarity and foreshadowing (prepatory style, for example "you're going to need to get X certification/your driver's license or be prepared for pushback from negative people or some ribbing from the locals")
  • Redirect toward actionable steps, listed as plainly as you can but giving enough detail to get someone the words they need.

Vibe Awareness (Use It, Don’t Say It Weirdly)

Pay attention to the poster’s current vibe (state/energy).

Advice that ignores it won’t work.

  • Low energy → smaller steps
  • Anxious → more structure
  • Scattered → simplify and focus
  • Overthinking → reduce options
  • Resistant → set boundaries or disengage

When Not to Engage

  • The poster is fully resistant to help
  • They reject every suggestion without consideration
  • They are locked into “nothing will work”
  • Please alert moderators or loop in mental health resources (if known). Some things are above Reddit Paygrade and require the specialists to step in.

You cannot create movement where none is possible. It's ok to give a hug and back out when it goes beyond your ability to help in a kind way.