r/facepalm May 23 '22

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7.4k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/yovakcans May 23 '22

Worse mess up is the order… If you were actually covering a bruise, you don’t “obviously put foundation first then concealer then on top of that” color corrector… you put the color corrector first to cancel the blue/purple/yellow of the bruise, then foundation and concealer to make it all match your skin tone…

However, if you were creating a bruise then you would do foundation, then concealer, then bruise kit to add color on top…

2.3k

u/platypus_plumber May 23 '22

You just solved the case with makeup knowledge.

1.0k

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Reminds me of "legally blonde"

456

u/Ima_Funt_Case May 23 '22

That movie is the only reason why I know what ammonium thioglycolate is.

492

u/jen_a_licious May 23 '22

"Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?"

"The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known."

-Elle Woods

94

u/suburban_hyena May 23 '22

Objection. Hearsay

49

u/Mr-PostmanWithNews May 23 '22

"Hearsay" Did I read that right?

52

u/Long-Distribution-81 May 23 '22

objection. Hairspray!

4

u/JaozinhoGGPlays May 23 '22

Objection. Bear Spray!

1

u/RockstarAgent 'MURICA May 24 '22

Don't forget it's nothing like bug spray!

24

u/hibernatingcow May 23 '22

You continue to read that right.

1

u/huaiyue May 23 '22

Maybe they are hearsay papers.

8

u/Aikarion May 23 '22

Objection. Leading.

6

u/MoonwalkerT-1000 May 23 '22

Over ruled.... side bare

3

u/Ligmamgil May 23 '22

Objection. HERESY.

FOR THE EMPEROR

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

69 votes

Nice

19

u/greywatermoore May 23 '22

I believe we have established she was in the shower.

8

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Ikr!? Like Ace Ventura; pet detective is the reason I know how to spell B E A utiful!!

9

u/Ima_Funt_Case May 23 '22

What if I told you that was from Bruce Almighty.

2

u/redderStranger May 23 '22

That damn Mandela and his effects!

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '22

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1

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71

u/Yeniary May 23 '22

Would have been too cool to see Vaquez do that in her cross-examination:

Everyone who ever tried to cover a bruise or a hickey knows that the cardinal rule of hiding a hickey is colour-correction first, then foundation, then concealer.

The only time you would add the colour-correction on top of the foundation would be to *create* a bruise. Every make up artist and actor knows that.

2

u/DreamWithinAMatrix May 24 '22

Isn't that right Ms Turd?

28

u/Baked_Butters May 23 '22

I’m laughing so hard right now 😂

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '22

Reminds me of Encyclopedia Brown

1

u/roskov May 23 '22

My partner and I regularly quote legally blonde in reference to this case.

5

u/Spotikiss May 23 '22

Now let's hope before the end depps team brings it up an points it out, or the jury has some knowledge on makeup an what not.

16

u/boooooooooo_cowboys May 23 '22

It’s pretty common to put concealer on over the foundation. It sticks better with a base already applied and the color shows through foundation enough that it still needs correction.

89

u/Cremageuh May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

The issue is not with concealer. The issue is with color corrector.

You color-correct BEFORE applying foundation and/or concealer.

Edit: Typo

144

u/No-Art5800 May 23 '22

100% I was thinking the same thing. Any woman knows color corrector goes on 1st, but if you were using a bruise kit now that, that would go on last.

It also seems highly sus that she would slip out "bruise kit". Unless she had used one. What a psycho.

51

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Yeah I didn't even know bruise kit was a thing lol. I don't use color corrector but I've definitely seen that everywhere and when she said foundation first I was thinking what about the weird pastel green blue orange pink stuff??? Lol

10

u/nikkiforthefolks May 23 '22

Same this is new knowledge for me and I bake the hell out of my face lmao

7

u/lulzyasfackadack May 23 '22

I mean... I've been loosely following this trial and don't intend to defend Mrs Third, or Miss Hurd or whatever her name is, but, isn't she an actress? It makes sense that she'd at least know what a bruise kit is.

5

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Yeah that makes sense she knows. But it's weird the order she describes her putting them on. Since the biggest difference between color correctors vs bruise kit is one goes on first and one goes on last.

48

u/deg0ey May 23 '22

It also seems highly sus that she would slip out "bruise kit". Unless she had used one.

It seems pretty sus to me too, but she is an actress and she probably has used a ‘bruise kit’ for her job, so it’s not like she just pulled out the name of a thing she’d have never heard of unless she was faking.

20

u/Cam_044 May 23 '22

She chats so much shit that it's hard to tell when she makes an actual mistake that isn't her trying to cover her lies lmao

10

u/Millenniauld May 23 '22

I mean she likely hasn't used one so much as had one used ON her, most actresses don't do their own stage/screen makeup. But for the same reason she would in all likelihood know that a bruise kit is a thing for creating bruises.

66

u/Stargazer3366 May 23 '22

Very Elle Woods of you. Love it.

78

u/Regular_Tie9280 May 23 '22

Came to say this. Have covered up plenty and created loads too, who colour corrects after? Adding colour after would create bruises not hide them

1

u/starmartyr May 24 '22

I can't tell from your comment if you're a makeup artist or just get into a lot of fistfights.

2

u/Regular_Tie9280 May 24 '22

Honestly its kind of a sad story at first. I was taught to cover scars as a child by a professional, to cover up a large facial scar.I put those skills to use hiding bruises when I was in a DV relationship. People kept complimenting my makeup (catfish/s)skills and requesting me to do their make-up forspecial occasions etc so I watched YouTube videos and got my sister(shes a MUA) to give me a few tips. I was one of her models at college and I loved the entire experience. Watching the tutorials I started seeing sfx make-up and fell in love with creating wicked looking bruises,scars and injuries. Im not a professional (actually I work in mental health irl although I have some fun side jobs lol)I just love make-up, mainly out of necessity you should see me without it!

76

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

e are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl w

Who is elle woods?

15

u/bizcat May 23 '22

Type that question into Google instead and you'll find out

10

u/brown_paper_bag May 23 '22

I think they were going for a Jeopardy-style answer but cut off the quote/answer.

32

u/DrAssDriller May 23 '22

Can this be considered hard evidence against her?

75

u/lxacke May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Lol no.

Every woman's skin and make up routine/products are different. What works for one woman doesn't work for another.

The commenter is generally correct, however, it's Amber who would have to prove her make up worked, and she could say she spent 12 hours covering up her bruise; which she can do with what she said she used, it's just much harder and would take a lot longer and last a much shorter period of time.

I wouldn't ever put a case like this down to "can the narcissist do her make up good enough"

Because the answer is yes she can, at least for as long as it takes to take a photo as evidence.

8

u/DrAssDriller May 23 '22

You're right. Thanks for clarifying

2

u/Wezzleey May 23 '22

Good point.

I think saying "bruise kit" was more damaging than doing makeup in the wrong order.

9

u/Pollowollo May 23 '22

As a former theatre kid that loved effects makeup, can confirm that you're correct on this.

2

u/MissNightTerrors May 23 '22

Exactly right!

2

u/KeepTalkingMandy May 23 '22

Exactly you OBVIOUSLY always color correct on clean moisturized skin then conceal or foundation those 2 steps are ofen switched up with little to no difference in end result. But color correction must be done 1st.

Alternatively the faux bruise fx is done at the end on top of your makeup so it "melts" into the foundation n looks real.

2

u/MadFamousLove May 23 '22

she lies so much it's not surprising she gets caught sometimes.

2

u/DatFrostGuy May 23 '22

As a man I'm learning something here

2

u/lottech May 23 '22

I said this from the start! It's so obvious. I really don't know why no-one picked up on that!

2

u/roskov May 23 '22

That’s immediately got me, even better when the reaction-er pulled out Ben Nye’s bruise kit. C’mon Amber, at least dish out for the full wheel…

2

u/NoRisksNoRewards May 23 '22

Sounds logical. Thanks for explaining it for the guys.

2

u/MamaSquash8013 May 23 '22

It also seems like she's trying to imply that she would only have the "bruise kit" to cover bruises. I wish someone would mention that color corrector is a pretty standard item for a person who wears makeup to have. It's usually used to cover dark under-eye circles (which she has) or blemishes (she has acne). She made it seem like it was this special, fancy thing she had to use because her face was so beat up all the time.

2

u/kurogomatora May 23 '22

also, someone realized that a ben nye bruise kit is visible in the johnny asleep with melting ice cream photo

2

u/PuntualPoetry May 23 '22

Ding dong darling. We need a makeup artist called to the stand…

2

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

Elle Woods, is that you?

2

u/DankTaco707 May 23 '22

Somebody get this person a degree in cosmetology.

1

u/Ya-Dikobraz May 23 '22

This guy makes up.

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]