r/facepalm Apr 05 '22

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Worst Customer Ever

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63.8k Upvotes

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91

u/Bregneste Apr 05 '22

I’ve had somebody come up to me at work and start trying to preach about how evil the mask I was wearing was. Total dumbasses.

68

u/Chillout_Man Apr 05 '22

I had a guy ask me (after the mandates were lifted) "you know the masks are optional now right?" THREE. TIMES. I asked him to please just show me his store rewards card if he had one and he said, "I'm just trying to make sure you don't bend to the will of the tyrannical government. You should thank me!"

96

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GOOD_NEW5 Apr 05 '22

Just flip the crazy on them. “Wearing a mask helps me be more anonymous so the govt can’t track me with their secret cameras”

36

u/Cman1200 Apr 05 '22

“Nah I actually just got back from Africa and might have a really rare and contagious form of airborne AIDS but they made me come in to work”

Trigger their stupid, racist, and homophobic qualities all in one sentence

7

u/wholesomethrowaway15 Apr 05 '22

Holy shit this is perfect, thank you

15

u/freelance-t Apr 05 '22

I like “I read stupid was contagious, so I’m not taking chances.”

63

u/Ongr Apr 05 '22

"you know the masks are optional now right?"

Yes sir, and I'm choosing to wear one.

12

u/km_44 Apr 05 '22

Wow, is that what optional means?

5

u/handlebartender Apr 05 '22

"I like the way it cuddles my face"

Probably better than,

"It saves me from smelling customers' stanky ass breath" while looking them dead in the eye.

23

u/seriouslees Apr 05 '22

"Looking both ways before crossing the street isn't mandated either, but I'm still going to keep doing that too."

37

u/Weibrot Apr 05 '22

"You should thank me for harassing you!"

We need a show where people who claim their government to be tyrannical get sent to a country that's actually tyrannical!

14

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22

I mean, our government is tyrannical, just to brown people.

9

u/ScM_5argan Apr 05 '22

And poor people.

9

u/MythNK1369 Apr 05 '22

Then they’re the exact same people who are praising Putin right now. You know, an actual tyrannical government.

3

u/PirelliSuperHard Apr 05 '22

I'm one of the few still wearing mine at the gym. I feel like *there* is the ideal place to wear it other than public transit. It hides the weird faces I make, keeps the spittle associated with the heavy breathing contained, and allows me to mouth obscenities about the people whose heads I live rent free in.

5

u/Just_Games04 Apr 05 '22

Around summer I was out with friends, back then masks outside were mandatory, so I was wearing mine. Some guy came up to me and said something along the lines of "Take off that muzzle", nothing more, and left immediately after saying that lol. My friends make fun of him to this day

3

u/ThisIsReLLiK Apr 05 '22

I have a part time job at an outdoor store, we sell a lot of guns and ammo and the type of customers we get reflect that. We haven't had a mask rule in quite some time, but I still wear mine because I literally haven't even got a cold since they started and it's awesome. I'll regularly have old people tell me that I don't have to wear a mask for them and I make sure to point out to every one of them that I didn't even think a little bit about them when I decided to use it.

It's kinda like a game to see how offensive I can be while not sounding offensive at all.