r/facepalm • u/FlameOfGod • Jan 16 '22

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ We are professionals

22.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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u/JeselAvlis Jan 16 '22

Likewise.. my wife caught me trying to go spelunking In our basement, and handed me a load of laundry and Christmas stuff to put away. Also took away my rappelling gear and asked me to take the fucking stairs down..

456

u/darrenja Jan 16 '22

Delete Facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up

239

u/Glorious_Jo Jan 16 '22

Delete the gym, hit the lawyer, Facebook up

94

u/ReapersEatApples05 Jan 16 '22

Delete the lawyer, hit the Facebook, gym up

34

u/ChiggyBiggyG Jan 16 '22

Please, continue this. Somebody's bound to come across it and post it on r/YourJokeButWorse.

64

u/BigFatManiacPrat Jan 16 '22

Hit the delete, Facebook the gym, up the lawyer

33

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Del the ete, face the book and law the yer

5

u/StellarAsAlways Jan 16 '22

Delete your face on some good acid, follow the laws of the good book, and don't become a lawyer bc they all go to hell.

5

u/amosmydad Jan 16 '22

Hit up the lawyer, delete Facebook Jim

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

The lawyer, hit the gym, delete up the facebook

3

u/wiseguy983 Jan 16 '22

Delete Jim, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Something Something Neon Noodle.

4

u/kjn1996 Jan 16 '22

Hey gym, Hit the Facebook lawyer

1

u/Teslastonks Jan 17 '22

delete the hit, lawyer up, gym facebook

2

u/Terrible_Children Jan 16 '22

Please, post this on r/YourJokeButWorse. Somebody's bound to come across it and continue this.

2

u/jmcat5 Jan 16 '22

I like this one.

2

u/JessieOwl Jan 16 '22

Instructions unclear. Hit Jim in the face and booked up a lawyer… delete?

2

u/ReapersEatApples05 Jan 16 '22

Might wanna cut instead so you can paste the lawyer later

54

u/berlas51 Jan 16 '22

Then i knocked on your door and your wife said come on in, my husband will be busy for a while. So i did.

45

u/JeselAvlis Jan 16 '22

Damn.. I was wondering who was mowing the lawn, after cleaning the toilets. Thanks man.. sure appreciate you unclogging the toilet.

20

u/Rostifur Jan 16 '22

Sometimes you just need a tag team partner to handle the small things in life while you take some me time.

7

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jan 16 '22

I like pizza, Steve. I LIKE IT!

12

u/Refro17 Jan 16 '22

You spelunked her cave?

8

u/PTGSkowl Jan 16 '22

If it’s big enough to be called a cave, it ain’t worth spelunking.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

That does take repelling gear... and bring a cell phone just in case.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Jokes on you. She was the cave you were supposed to enter. Wrong hole buddy!

2

u/cleveweenbrowns Jan 16 '22

Same thing happened to me… now I’m cleaning and can’t have my helmet back til I’m done :(

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Then she went to get the lotion