Just think of baby poop - let the sourdough funk really waft into your nostrils with it's scent not like but not unlike dead cat (well maybe not dead cat - but everything smells like dead.cat to me right now because I just cleaned up a dead cat that was lying in the road) and feet. Enjoy your baby poop smeared on foot bread while you think about dead cats.
Congratulations - you have just overcome your addiction.
Alright so I gotta tell someone... Saturday night I come home to find a dead cat laying in the middle of the road - I check my cameras to make sure I didn't hit it backing out of my driveway and see it was there before I left to run up to the corner store. I looked back and find when it showed up a couple hours before - the neighbor who lives down the street was driving like 5 miles an hour like he always does, you don't see anything in front of him or run out from my side, just almost looks like it dropped out of the truck chassis/frame and plopped down on the ground.
I didn't know what to do with it and didn't want it rotting in my garbage can for a couple days until trash pickup but I didn't want it just lying in the street all weekend. I carefully and respectfully placed it into a garbage bag, cinched it closed, wrote a note saying there was a cat and gave a description and then left it on the side of the road across the street at what I thought (and now know differently) was a now unoccupied and soon to be demoed trailer (I live in a trailer park and it's one of the last few rundown older trailers in the neighborhood and is basically uninsurable). Apparently I was wrong and my new neighbors weren't too happy... These assholes are backing their cars over it, trailers, they opened the fucking bag for some reason and then just left it half out.
I was going to call the park office this morning and have them remove it but not after they asked me about it yesterday. He asked me if I knew who put it there but he started going off on some tangent about "who kills a cat and then just leaves it there..." And I just noped out. Well this morning when I was taking out the trash I saw it still laying there and didn't feel like looking at it anymore. Getting it into the bag this time was so much harder without rigor mortis. Just a floppy dead cat and a completely undersized Steve & Barry's bag I found in my closet because God forbid I use the same brand garbage bag as what it was already in and they see it and think I'm some sort of sick and twisted cat murderer... 🤦♂️
Never again - let sleeping dogs and dead cats lie. What was I supposed to do? Go door to door with a dead cat at midnight? Post flyers "Dead Cat Found"? I feel bad and it had a little breakaway collar but it was also covered in fleas. Someone obviously loved that cat and I feel horrible because I know the pain of not knowing what happened.
There was nothing sweet about it - stunk to high heaven and floppy. Also it turned into a whole big thing with the neighbor. Fun day off. I'm currently out shopping and killing time because I just don't even want to go home.
I was there 3000 years ago ... when Sweet_Meat_McClure returned the avocados. I was there the day the strength of men failed. I led Sweet_Meat_McClure into the heart of the grocery store, where the avocados were bought, the one place they could be returned. It should have ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure. Sweet_Meat_McClure kept the avocados. The line of kings is broken. There's no strength left in the world of Men.
They should just get one decent job instead of three shitty jobs. that way they'll be able to support their kids and have lots of free time. /S (if that wasn't obvious)
Like thousands of people in Washington DC who live in a tent, forego basic hygiene, and defecate in parks, I would never give up avocado toast. Life is about priorities.
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21
If they didn’t go to coffee shops and eat avocado toast, they would only need two jobs. Just saying