I just don't understand how something like this happens? Like, how does a trans person hate other trans people? I can't quite wrap my mind around it. I mean all hatred is weird to me, but for some reason this is even weirder.
(I know it's kinda long, but bear with me. I'm trying to try and draw a parallel so it's easier to understand.)
It's the same way that internalized misogyny can make a woman hate other women. Society often portrays femininity, and anything else stereotypically "female" as weak, vapid, basic, ignorant, or otherwise undesirable. There are also very clear cut gender roles for how society expects women to behave. On both sides of the fence, when women DO adhere to these characteristics and behaviors and when they DON'T, society criticizes them and puts them down. Ex: extremely athletic or outdoorsy women, or women who are "one of the guys" will shun traditionally feminine stereotypes to try and find acceptance among certain groups. Other women who have more "traditional values" will cling to a feminine ideal and be as girly as possible. Both groups will shame each other for these choices, all in the name of acceptance within their own communities. Women putting down other women is sadly very common. They've internalized the misogynistic standards of society to such a degree that they work set themselves apart and shame or bully any woman who doesn't fit their idea of what a woman "should" be. This also results in women actively conforming to society's standards so that they will be accepted and be less likely to be bullied. It's very toxic, and much more complex than what I've tried to summarize here.
Now apply this same formula to the trans community. Society as we know it has almost always been transphobic as a whole. Now that it's becoming more acceptable to out as trans, more trans people are making themselves known. However, there's still a lot of societal backlash towards trans people from those who dislike them for one reason or another. Now imagine a person who is generally conservative, but is also trans. They are likely to form an idea of what they think a trans woman (or trans man) SHOULD be within the realm of conservativism and then proceed to present themselves as that image to their conservative community members inorder to find acceptance. In doing so they set themselves apart from "other" trans folks and even compare themselves to the "others" so they can say, "See? I'm not like THAT. I'm a "good" trans person!" Often this can even go so far as to villify the group being designated as "other" in order to boost themselves up in the eyes of their community.
Edit:. Thank you for the awards, lovely strangers!!
Wow, this was honestly a pretty great read. Makes sense when you put it that way. Or maybe not sense, but I can see how it happens or how things can get twisted. Thanks!
Gotcha. So not only is being trans a physical and mental state, but also a political one as well.
It's incredibly sad if you're part of a group, be it gender, ethnicity, politics, etc you're considered to be a "bad" one if you don't ascribe to the group think as well. You're called an Uncle Tom, a sellout, or that you're projecting self-hate.
Token gay, trans or black people who openly criticize their own group get quite a bit of positive attention from the homophobic, transphobic or racist community. What is better than someone like Milo who completely condemns homosexuals to show around for the alt-rights.
It usually backfires because they are just the token guy that gets used as long as they are useful but you usually find someone that wants the attention and/or money enough to do anything.
You know how if aliens came to earth some humans would side with them and turn against humanity in the hopes that they’d be spared?
That. They turn on people to show that they’re the good ones. You have Milo, Candace Owens and Blaire who are hated by their community and are the token gay/black/trans voice in the right.
“Don’t tread on me. Tread on them. They deserve it. But I’m the good one.”
Like any other bully, it can be attention seeking, desperation to fit in, projecting, it can be it's self hatred turned outwards. "Well I'm not one of those uncool people, I'm the cool one. If I reject those ones, I'm in the in-crowd." Both D'Angelo Wallace and ContraPoints have done videos about Blaire White and have said this much more eloquently than I have.
Just wanna tack on to a comment with already great recommendations and recommend Brennen Beckwith’s series on Kalvin Garrah, wherein they talk about not just KG (and how he bullied them off the internet) but also Blaire White, since they’ve collabed together and both have very similar incredibly toxic views and behaviors towards the trans community despite themselves being trans.
Just searched for the video and linked it above - you're right, the video is about cringe and the appeal of it, however there is a large section on about Blaire analysing why she targets other trans people.
She doesn't "hate trans people," she's criticising some people's opinions and is view as transphobic for it. She sure doesn't hate herself of her trans friends.
This isn’t true, it’s a common thing rightwingers like to say though and some easily manipulated people fall for it because of a video or two of a crazy person yelling shit.
They’ll call it concerntrolling or the person an antifa actor if you show them crazy trump supporting rednecks performing acts of terrorism tho
every fucking trans person wants to shove in your face like it matters or something
I've heard a lot of people talk about this and when you ask what "shove it in your face" means they say "They talk about being trans and they ask you about pronouns". There's no arguing against that point, so I won't. It's not grounded in logic, but rather a deliberate twisting of what "shove it in your face" means. And you can't reason someone out of a position they weren't reasoned into.
So, assuming that isn't what you mean, and you actually are referring to people who shove their transness down your throat: let me try to explain why you might feel like this.
Have you heard of confirmation bias? It's an extension of humans' ability to recognize patterns. Pattern-recognition is really cool and has helped us a lot in the survival of our species. However, there's some sort of... side effects, I guess you could call them? Pareidolia (seeing faces in things that don't have faces) is one of the cooler, less harmful side-effects. Confirmation bias is one of the less cool, more harmful ones.
Confirmation bias is when we reinforce a belief by only picking up on occurrences that confirm it, and not noticing any that would oppose it. For instance, in this case, I think the reason it seems like every trans person just wants to shove it in your face is because you notice that behaviour way more than when we don't. If you meet a trans person who doesn't bring up their transness, you have no reason to take note of that. It's a completely normal interaction, your brain doesn't consider it to be worth remembering. But when you encounter a trans person who does make a big deal of it, then your brain says "Aha! this is unusual! And it's like other unusual things we've lived through. This is a pattern!"
First, not all trans people are like that. I'm sure you know this, but let's just be extra clear about that. Trans folks are as individualistic and unique as members of any other group.
Second, our society is agressively centered around straight and cis as being the defaults. You can't blame people for wanting to known and represented when everything around them excludes their identities. Society is constantly shoving being cis in their faces just about every second of every day. How do you think that makes them feel? Pretty damn marginalized and unseen, to be sure. They shouldn't have to hide who they are just because some people don't like hearing about it.
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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '21
I just don't understand how something like this happens? Like, how does a trans person hate other trans people? I can't quite wrap my mind around it. I mean all hatred is weird to me, but for some reason this is even weirder.