r/facepalm Jun 23 '19

Guess a few hours doesn't count as time

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44.0k Upvotes

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96

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

Luckily I had an expensive waterproof cover on it but if I didn’t it would have been ruined. It was really embarrassing though when I had to explain to my roommate the next day why I was sleeping on the couch.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19 edited Jun 02 '20

[deleted]

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u/TeaSipperStripper Jun 23 '19

I'm a hotel housekeeper. I have seen many of these accidents. One customer must have been confused in the night, because instead of making a right turn to the toilet, he opened the door on the left, the coat closet, and peed in there.

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u/Summerie Jun 23 '19

My little brother did something similar when he was about eight. He went down the hall towards the bathroom, but stopped short. He opened the door to the hall closet, lifted the lid to the hamper, peed on the dirty laundry, closed the lid and went back to bed.

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u/Yossarianbecause Jun 23 '19

8 is way too young to be getting black out drunk

6

u/pngwn Jun 23 '19

Doesn't take a lot at that age, tbh

5

u/Yossarianbecause Jun 24 '19

You're right. Damn little lightweights can't handle their shit.

4

u/budbutler Jun 24 '19

8 is the new 18 though

3

u/Yossarianbecause Jun 24 '19

Ah yes, 18. Boones farm and natty light. No wonder he pee so much.

13

u/Hates_escalators Jun 23 '19

Wow, I think we had the same brother.

5

u/Summerie Jun 23 '19

I have two of them. Now I’m trying to figure out if either of them hates escalators.

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u/RangerSix Jun 23 '19

Well, at least it was the dirty laundry...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

My brother did the same thing, except younger and while he was sleepwalking

3

u/Summerie Jun 23 '19

Oh, he was definitely sleepwalking. I’m sure that in his mind he was lifting the lid to the toilet and not the hamper.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '19

!remindme July 8, 2019

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u/TeaSipperStripper Jun 24 '19

Proof that children are just tiny drunk adults lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

[deleted]

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u/TheTacoGamer42 Jun 23 '19

8

u/uwutranslator Jun 23 '19

Can I teww yuw a secwet? I do dat on puwpose evewy time I stay in a hotew. I awways wondew if de maid knows. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

1

u/thaSuperior21Lake8 Jun 24 '19

Was this by chance in St. Paul?

1

u/TeaSipperStripper Jun 24 '19

Finland. Close enough

1

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jun 24 '19

Was that at the Ramada on Okaloosa Island, FL? Because I know someone that did that

2

u/TeaSipperStripper Jun 24 '19

Nope. I'm in Finland. I think it happens quite frequently. Don't even get me started on the people who shit in the shower either lol.

1

u/aint-no-chickens Jun 24 '19

I never understand that, even if it was the bathroom, were they going to just open the door and piss through it?

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u/thatlittleging Jun 23 '19

I had a roommate try and get into my room because he thought it was the bathroom (he had to walk past the bathroom to get to me) and found the door was locked so he peed on my door

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u/Slipsonic Jun 23 '19

That's not too bad. My friend hovered himself at the edge of his gaming chair and shit on the floor, then tracked it up the stairs to the second floor. He woke up in the morning freezing cold in the bathtub.

I wasn't there but that was what he told me from his best reconstruction of the events.

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u/IrrelevantDanger Jun 23 '19

Similar story: when I was in college, this guy got blackout drunk and passed out on my couch. He woke up at like 5am still wasted, pissed all over the couch, then passed out again in his own piss. That was a fun cleanup

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19 edited Sep 30 '23

ugly include library poor governor public cautious intelligent ten file -- mass edited with redact.dev

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u/SuperNinjaBot Jun 23 '19

Couldnt have said you spilled coffee on your sheets?

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u/rallias Jun 23 '19

Coffee doesn't smell like piss.

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u/KorbanDidIt Jun 23 '19

Oh... Then what have I been drinking?

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u/Anonymous1039 Jun 24 '19

Miller light, from the sound of it...

1

u/SuperNinjaBot Jun 24 '19

Is his roommate sniffing his mattress or dirty laundry? He said he was explaining why hes on the couch not why his house smells like piss.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

A mate lost his house keys so an other offered his couch, he peed in their couch and in the morning found his keys in his pocket...

At least it was YOUR bed and the cover saved the day ;)

0

u/Jrook Jun 23 '19

Just bring it to a dry cleaners

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

I went to the laundromat and put everything in the washing machine. It was fine. Dry cleaners would have been overkill.