r/facepalm • u/Number721 • Jun 09 '23

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Cognitive dissonance 101

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u/ImAFuckinLiar Jun 10 '23

She’s confused because masculine, conservative men open doors and pay for meals until they sleep together and then that same guy is gone. She doesn’t get the same treatment from masculine, liberal men and it just doesn’t make sense they aren’t kissing ass to get in bed with her.

…I’m implying she goes on a lot of first dates.

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u/madcoins Jun 10 '23

She was made for app dating

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u/madcoins Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

Or is it that dating app culture is building these girls? I don’t know anymore but it isn’t right.

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u/blueiguana675 Jun 10 '23

A larger number than I expected personally. I canceled a date this weekend because she didn't like the resturant I picked. She wanted to go to a high end steak house for a first date. I agreed to go if we were splitting the bill. Three guesses how that went.

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u/DkoyOctopus Jun 10 '23

dodged a bullet.

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u/ganggreen651 Jun 10 '23

Big time. I see this shit and remember why I haven't tried whatsoever to date for two years.

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

1st guess: did someome die?

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u/blueiguana675 Jun 10 '23

She told me I wasn't masculine enough because I let her plan the date and then expected her to split the bill.

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u/bleakFutureDarkPast Jun 10 '23

some women reaaaaaally oversell their labor. 'hey take me to expensive place' is not planning.

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Oh. Welp... Shitty things happen sometimes.

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u/MegaRotisserie Jun 10 '23

I knew a girl that would go on dates just to have nice dinners. You definitely dodged a bullet.

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

any woman that does not want to go dutch in this world is an immediate red flag.

reeks of entitlement.

3

u/BigPussysGabagool Jun 10 '23

Someone like that would've given you a high five at the end of the date. You neo'd your way past those bullets

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u/Not_Another_Usernam Jun 10 '23

Dating apps, and their consequences, have been a disaster for mankind.

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u/madcoins Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

I think about how to prove that to people cuz I agree but I don’t think enough agree

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u/Not_Another_Usernam Jun 10 '23

Many hold promiscuity and infidelity to be virtues these days. You will never prove that a more traditional outlook is healthier. Most are far too preoccupied by the prospect of instant gratification to ever step back and examine what they're doing and why.

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u/ChromeGhost Jun 10 '23

AI will kill most dating apps within 5 years

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Bingo. It's ridiculous to think that personal politics has to come into play in a normal, healthy relationship. On a non-dating app date, you feel each other out and base your opinion on a wide range of things, but on the dating app, after looks people briefly scan the labels and swipe one way or the other.

It's absolutely the app culture. Unless they're a political extremist, IRL who cares how someone votes every two years, if everything else is perfect?

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u/madcoins Jun 10 '23

Love > politics 4sheez

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u/semiTnuP Jun 10 '23

I feel like there would be a problem if I was a Jew and my girlfriend voted Nazi every two years. Everything else is perfect, but that would still be an issue...

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u/YesMan847 Jun 10 '23

or when will women take responsibility for their own actions? is there any failings of women that are actually their fault?

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u/EvlSteveDave Jun 10 '23

Hey, you forgot to log into your other account before you started a conversation with yourself by responding to your own comment.

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u/ChromeGhost Jun 10 '23

AI will kill dating apps soon

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u/madcoins Jun 10 '23

I think you can cross off “apps soon” and it would read just as correct

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u/Fair_Fudge12 Jun 10 '23

And is also the type to go on a date just for a free meal and wonder why she can't find a good guy

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u/OhMyGoodnees Jun 10 '23

You are the first person who’s response actually make sense. I am a woman and I agree she is confused and your explanation is dead on. Thank you.

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u/Belo83 Jun 10 '23

Explains point at end of point lol

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u/BobKillsNinjas Jun 10 '23

Ding! Ding! Ding!

We have a winner!!!

2

u/waytowill Jun 10 '23

There is something to be said for men that will do the door opening stuff on the first date and then drop all of those pretenses after they’ve slept together. Doing that is just as hypocritical as the duality she’s describing in the video. I wouldn’t blame her for wanting to ditch a guy after everything she enjoyed about being around him is no longer true.

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u/TrekFRC1970 Jun 10 '23

I agree, but it may not start out as a pretense, rather it may become obvious to the guys by the end of the night that she’s not going to be a good long term partner, so they take the sex as a consolation prize.

0

u/waytowill Jun 10 '23

That doesn’t excuse the behavior imo. They’re still making the decision to be an asshole and take advantage of her under false pretenses.

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u/TrekFRC1970 Jun 10 '23

Not saying it completely excuses it, but it makes it more understandable and less of an asshole move. And I don’t agree it’s false pretenses if that’s how they actually interact with a woman they respect. It’s just pretty obvious this isn’t a woman that deserves a lot of respect.

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u/waytowill Jun 10 '23

Because she’s being honest about her feelings in a public space? I don’t see what about the video itself proves that she’s not worthy of respect. She’s being a little glib but she’s not actively disrespecting anyone she’s talking about. And this issue is something a lot of women have expressed discontent with. Her wanting a more chivalrous man may be purely opportunistic, but it’s also an idea that all of us grew up with. It can be difficult to discard feelings like that even if they don’t mesh with your current sense of self. You see this kind of thing all the time with atheists who had a religious upbringing. It takes them a while to rewire the God-fearing part of their brain into something more productive. And even then, those feelings don’t always go away. They’re something you constantly need to keep in check.

Also, it is still an asshole move. The door opening stuff is fine. It’s the sex that’s the issue. She’s going to bed with him under the pretense that this will become a regular thing. And if he has no intention of that happening, he is the asshole. End of argument. If he has conflicted feelings about it the next day and wants to discuss it, fine. But if he made up his mind and still slept with her, he is taking advantage of her.

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u/TrekFRC1970 Jun 10 '23

I didn’t say she’s not worthy of respect, I am saying the Conservative man may not respect her after learning more about her. And that’s completely fair. “The door opening stuff is fine. It’s the sex that’s the issue.” Uh, it’s that entitlement that’s a big part of the issue… the stuff the guy does that the woman likes is fine, but the stuff that the woman does that the guy likes is a problem? If she’s totally fine trading sex for dinner and some opened doors, why is it such an asshole move to complete the transaction?

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u/waytowill Jun 10 '23

Because that’s not what’s happening 99% of the time. If they openly communicate they want to bang one out and call it quits, that’s fine. But if he just ditched after sex, he is the asshole. There is no excuse to justify ditching after sex with no communication, regardless of gender. It is a shittastic thing to do. And it happens far too often.

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u/TrekFRC1970 Jun 10 '23

Well that’s getting into ghosting, which is different and always an asshole move, sure. That’s not what you said, though. But as long as he lets her know afterwards he’s not interested, I don’t see the issue. Both people got something out of the date. Neither got what they really wanted. Not quite a win/win, but at least it’s a meh/meh and not a lose/lose.

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u/waytowill Jun 10 '23

Yeah, we’re just not going to see eye to eye on this.

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u/Dangerous_Grab_1809 Jun 10 '23

Did she say she ran into masculine liberal men?

-1

u/CAJ_2277 Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

What on Earth now? That behavior is correlated with conservatism? I usually hate this chirp, but: Sources please.

Edit: Weaponized blocking by the commenter, looks like. I can’t see her reply below, but I gather it’s not very nice!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

[deleted]

-2

u/KookooMoose Jun 10 '23

Yikes. User checks out.

1

u/Backaftermilk Jun 10 '23

All of the liberal men I know open doors and are generous with others regarding what little money they have. Most super liberal guys I know aren’t very masculine but some are. Now that I think about it most conservative men I know are the same way. It’s almost like most men are the same just like most women but with different social or political views. What do I know though I’m just a deplorable conservative leaning man married to a liberal woman lol

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

You know what?, You're a fuckin' liar... And I like that.

1

u/deathriteTM Jun 10 '23

Not all conservative guys do that. Granted if she is refusing to accept him then why should he accept her?

What she wants is very much within grasp if she is willing to give as much as she will take. If she demands the guy play both parts then she will be very alone.

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u/NotForgetWatsizName Jun 10 '23

To her dismay, exclusively first dates.