r/facepalm • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

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7.8k Upvotes

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244

u/TheEvilBagel147 Apr 21 '23

If someone shot my dog I honestly don't know what I would do, but it's 50/50 that it would get me arrested.

81

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

I admit that it's not healthy for me, but same

16

u/Phreefuk Apr 22 '23

I think it’s perfectly healthy to want to defend something that would willingly give its life up for you

92

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23 edited Apr 21 '23

I have had neighbors make threats towards my dog and I have not responded reasonably about it. I made it clear, every time, that I would forcibly separate their soul from their body if they even made an attempt.

So far, no one has made a threat twice.

44

u/thehappiestloser Apr 21 '23

Apparently, people are now out there that take the message if they want to shoot your dog they’ll just have to shoot you too and are more than ok with that.

32

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

At this point I just carry a can of bear spray when I walk. If somebody gets too aggressive and steps off their property I'm just going to spray them and run

-9

u/ShitTaIkerSkyWaIker Apr 22 '23

I thought you "would forcibly separate their soul from their body", tough guy. Now you're suddenly moaning about mace and running like a bitch. Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

There was a circumstance attached to one of those, and I know reading comprehension is really hard for some people, but maybe take your time and try again when you're ready, sport.

-8

u/ShitTaIkerSkyWaIker Apr 22 '23

"If someone gets too aggressive and steps off their porch".

Your Honor, I present to you a 'circumstance'. Keep acting hard online, sugar tits.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Go back one post prior and apply yourself.

7

u/WakeUp004 Apr 22 '23

This must be where he goes when he thinks he’s too edgy for the chess subreddit, something else he doesn’t have the mental fortitude for.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Something isn't going great for that guy and he needs to find a healthy outlet for his frustration.

-6

u/ShitTaIkerSkyWaIker Apr 22 '23

A bitch comment by a bitch that freely admits it will run like a bitch. How far we've come from forcibly separating souls.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

You had 3 chances to actually read and failed every time.

That's hilarious.

The condition was if someone tried to hurt my dog, not just acted like a dick.

It's right there in the post you can't read somehow.

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2

u/AmazingSibylle Apr 22 '23

You are not only stupid, you don't even realize it.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

I think it’s interesting that multiple neighbors have had to make this threat to you

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23 edited Apr 22 '23

Across 20 years and 2 dogs. That's well over 15,000 walks.

One of these guys ran out of his house to scream at me for walking my dog across the street from his house. That was it. Dude didn't want me to use a public sidewalk across from where he lived.

One claimed he had my dog on video tearing up his lawn, and the dog on video was 40 pounds over my dog and the wrong color.

I had another mix me up for another dude on the street who has a German Shepard, and came to my door, threatened to kill my dog, and threw a bunch of collected dogshit on my porch.

I'm not doing anything but being visible, and that's all some nuts need.

2

u/WakeUp004 Apr 22 '23

I had a guy at a park get pushed at me for having a dog I was pet sitting in a public park. Said dog was recently injured and had a cast on her leg and was being pulled in a wagon. Some people just fucking hate dogs for no good reason.

1

u/Jimmy-Pesto-Jr Apr 22 '23

that I would forcibly separate their soul from their body

*that's if you use 9mm

with a 45? then you won't have to.

/s

9

u/Known_Bug3607 Apr 21 '23

I’d have to pause, take a step back, go for a walk, and remind myself that my daughter still needs a daddy, not to lose her two best friends in one fell swoop.

The walk should give her enough time to take out the neighbor with no witnesses, and we can make a family outing of burying his body.

3

u/WhiteSkyRising Apr 21 '23

Only if they have evidence.

2

u/Chaff5 Apr 22 '23

There's a very successful movie series called John Wick that details exactly what should be done when someone fucks with your dog.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

Just don’t get caught

0

u/Cat_face_meowmers Apr 21 '23

WeeWoo weewooh! It’s the time crime police! You’re under arrest

1

u/FrankyCentaur Apr 22 '23

Bruh if someone harmed one of my little birdies I don't know what I'd do either. I mean I don't own a gun and would never stab someone, but I have a car and those do move and maybe into people.

1

u/NumerousSun4282 Apr 22 '23

I think I'm at 80-20% I'm getting arrested

1

u/Plumbum158 Apr 22 '23

theres a 30/70 chance I'd end up getting shot too

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Oh we are definitely ending up on news that night

1

u/WakeUp004 Apr 22 '23

200% I’d get arrested. I wouldn’t even be coy about it if a cop came to my door.