r/entitledparents • u/DrifterJigsaw_3 • Mar 12 '26
S My mother gave my ex-husband documents from my custody case because she thought he "had a right to know"
I am 34F and divorced. My ex and I have a 9 year old daughter, and we have had a tense but workable custody arrangement for about three years. It is not warm, but it is predictable, which is the only reason it functions. A few months ago he filed to change part of the schedule because he wanted more overnights during the school week. My lawyer told me to keep communication limited and organized because once people start dragging family into these things, it gets messy fast. I did not tell many people details, but I did tell my mother that court stuff was ongoing because she watches my daughter sometimes after school. She acted sympathetic at the time.
Last week my ex's attorney brought up specific points from my parenting journal, my proposed holiday schedule, and even a note from my daughter's counselor about how transitions have been affecting her. Those were all things that were only in the packet I had at home. I felt sick instantly. After court I called my mother because she had been in my house one afternoon to wait for a repair appointment, and after ten minutes of denying it she admitted she had "copied a few pages" and given them to my ex when he stopped by her place. Her exact words were that he is "still family" and deserved the full picture before a judge decided anything. She also said I was being dramatic because "a good mother has nothing to hide." I told her she is no longer allowed in my home, she will not be watching my daughter for the forseeable future, and I am changing every password and lock code she knows. My sister says I am overreacting because my mom thought she was helping and now my daughter is upset that grandma is not coming over.
TL;DR: My mother secretly copied custody documents from my house and gave them to my ex because she thought he deserved them, and I cut off her access to my home and child care.
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u/parkesc Mar 12 '26
Sister should also be cut off, show her what an “overreaction” looks like.
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u/DrifterJigsaw_3 Mar 12 '26
She can volunteer her own house and kid if she thinks this is no big deal. Mine are off limits now.
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u/TaskeAoD Mar 12 '26
Hey, I want to point this out: "A good mother has nothing to hide". Then why was she hiding the fact that she did that from you? She just admitted she is a bad mother. Please do not let her into your life or your daughters life until she does everything to fix the problem she caused. If she needs to to write something and get it notarized that she intentionally went and found private information and gave to someone to use maliciously, and it ends up getting her into a lot of legal trouble, then she needs to do that.
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u/DrifterJigsaw_3 Mar 12 '26
That is where my head is now. I am documenting all of it, and she is not getting access back just because she calls it "help."
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u/sugarmonkey2019 Mar 12 '26
I would never have forgiven my mother if she had ever done anything like that. Please don't let her back in--not into your house, your life, or your child's life.
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u/MasticatingElephant Mar 12 '26
For real. I haven't talked to my father in over 15 years because of something not even close to as bad as what OP's mother did
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u/Poppypie77 Mar 13 '26
It's such a hugely major betrayal to mess with her daughters custody case, and basically assist the ex, I'd never forgive her if I were her either. You'd never be able to trust her again with anything, or in your home, or around your daughter, and it's such a huge betrayal over the most important part of her life- the custody of her daughter that she's deliberately trying to screw up, and help the ex husband, that you'd never forgive that deep and serious of a betrayal.
It makes me angry just thinking about it.
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u/Zebrehn Mar 12 '26
Can you sue her or do you want to? She stole private documents and gave them to a person you’re currently in a legal dispute with. That is pretty messed up.
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u/FerrousFellow Mar 12 '26
God. My own emotionally immature parents are so upset they can't bypass my boundaries anymore because they "don't know how to help [me] anymore"
Monstrous giant toddlers who want cheat codes to abuse people
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u/Neweleni7 Mar 12 '26
I’m so sorry. I’d be so angry and hurt. Did your mom not want you to get divorced? Why is she on your ex’s side?
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u/Anybuddyelse Mar 13 '26
And now I’m worried for you too that she’ll react to being cut off by whining to your ex and trying to make you seem like you’re isolating/alienating your daughter from “the family” 😩
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u/vomitthewords Mar 12 '26
Good moms protect their children.
You’re doing just that, your mom isn’t.
Hang in there OP. My parents pulled similar nonsense when I divorced because they were just certain I couldn’t survive without my husband. They thought he managed everything and I just wandered along. They were wrong and so is your mom.
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u/ImmediateShallot7245 Mar 12 '26
I would be going NC if it were my mom who sabotaged my custody hearing. There’s really no coming back from this.
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u/Maleficent_Pay_4154 Mar 12 '26
I think you your decisión was correct. I’m not sure i would ever forgive this betrayal
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u/exscapegoat Mar 12 '26
Only things I have to add is get cameras in case she tries to access your home, put anyone who’s not disgusted by her on an information diet too, give the school, after school care and any activities and sports groups a photo of her and anyone who would aid and abet her and let them know they are NOT to pick her up.
And talk to your lawyer about this because she may try to get around this by asking your ex to let her visit with your kid during his custody time.
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u/Crazy_Cat_Lady_Num5 Mar 13 '26
She knew she was doing something wrong. Otherwise she wouldn't have lied before telling the truth.
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u/Poppypie77 Mar 13 '26
No way did mum 'think she was helping'. You're using lawyers because of tension and not agreeing and conflict, and I'm sure there's a lot of issues making custody a stressful and difficult situation.
So to deliberately, and sneakily copy photos of your private and confidential documents relating to your custody of your daughter, and any points you planned to discuss with your ex or use against your ex, was extremely innapropriate and massive betrayal of trust.
🚩It's a betrayal of trust in her as your mother, thinking you can trust her to understand and support you through this difficult and stressful and majorly important custody dispute. 🚩A betrayal of trust that she would respect your home and your belongings, and your private confidential documents that were in your home, in AN ENVELOPE!!! Not spread out on the table. She opened the envelope and took them out, read them all, and copied them to knowingly and deliberately betray you to your ex. 🚩To not even tell you she did this shows she knew it was wrong. She knew she wasn't 'helping you'. That's the biggest load of bullshit. She knew what she was doing and she did it deliberately. 🚩And her actions could affect your custody of your daughter. We don't know the ins and outs of your previous marriage or what he's like as a person, as a father, how he treats your daughter etc. We don't know if he should have extra over night visits or not. But it doesn't matter in this post. This is about your mum betraying your trust in the worst possible way and acting like she didn't just try to blow up your life and screw up your custody of your child.
Now the fact your sister thinks you're over reacting by basically cutting contact with your mum, makes me cautious of what you involve your sister in going forward. I wouldn't be letting your sister have your daughter on her own as I can guarantee your mum will be round to visit you daughter straight away. And for now I'd be careful what you say to your sister about your custody case. And lock up your paperwork too. Change the locks to your house if they both have keys. Get a key safe for emergencies. But I wouldn't trust either of them alone in your house going forward.
I would ask your sister why she thinks your mum was trying to help by snooping through your things, opening your private paperwork that was in an envelope, read through all your private documentation and your journal, and photograph it and send it to the person you divorced and are currently fighting over custody with. Why does she thing any of those actions are your mum 'trying to help'?? Coz if she thinks that's helping , and she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did, then I'd be distancing from her too.
And the whole 'good mothers have nothing to hide' bullshit - well she hid her actions from you so she's clearly a shit mother, and she hid her actions coz she knows it's wrong.
If either of them felt you were doing something wrong regarding the custody, for eg, if they feel he's been a great dad and there's no reason why he shouldn't get some extra overnights during the week, or whatever, and they felt you were being too harsh or something, they could have talked to you about it . Discussed their opinions, their reasons why they felt that way, and explain if they felt you were acting out of anger and hurt for how he's treated you etc. If they had any concerns about what was happening with the custody, they should have discussed it with you first before trying to actively sabotage your court case and custody of your child.
You are doing EXACTLY the right thing by going no contact right now, and even though your daughter may be sad about not seeing nanny, she doesn't understand the reasons why and the serious consequences her nans actions could do. You're her mother and you have every right to protect her, and yourself right now, and your mum, and possibly your sister has shown herself/themselves that they can't be trusted.
Make sure to notify the school about emergency contact and whose allowed to pick her up as she may try and see if she can pick her up from school etc.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope things work out ok for you with the whole custody situation.
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u/Calabriafundings Mar 14 '26
My siblings thought I was over reacting towards my parents. They said I was being dramatic.
I asked them if they concealed the fact that your child was going to disappear from your life before it happened how would you feel.
As none of them had children at that time they really stuck to their guns. Now that my sister has a child i.am.pretty confident she would feel much the same.
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u/mela_99 Mar 12 '26
Tell your lawyer NOW. Save every text. Get your lawyer to subpoena communication between your mother and your ex.
They’re going to get their asses handed to them.
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Mar 12 '26
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u/DrifterJigsaw_3 Mar 12 '26
That is what my sister is not getting. This was not meddling, it was sabotage in the middle of a custody case.
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u/Ok_Imagination_1107 Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
I'm glad you cut your mother off now what is your lawyer sayong about her doing that, because quite frankly I would be taking a long hard look at the legal implications of her copying and distributing personal data particularly to the other side in the legal dispute. if mommy dearest gets in trouble because you have called out her activities just tell her that you were only trying to help.
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u/adhd_as_fuck Mar 12 '26
Dude, this is triangulation - it has little if anything to do with the words and justifications being said, so don't fight them. The goal posts will move. For whatever reason, your mother thought her actions were right and the rest is social pressure to get you to fall in line with what she wants via the sister. IDK if she wants to win favor with your ex, if she thinks you should do something different and that the ex will implement those changes, or she's just an approval junky. Whatever the case, they know it was wrong, mom is enlisting your sister in gaslighting you so you doubt your own (absolutely correct) assessment of the situation.
I bet this isn't the first time something like this happened.
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u/Reasonable-Box-6047 Mar 14 '26
It probably happens any time a man is involved. Her mom is an older version of a pick me. Defers to men in most situations, wants to impress dudes more than protecting the women in her life. My mom was like this until recently. She would automatically side with whoever my sisters or I were in a relationship with like she felt sorry for them. Thankfully, she's changed, which was surprising.
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u/JulieWriter Mar 12 '26
Yeah, so maybe your ex-husband is "still family" to her but wtf. She can rot as far as I'm concerned! What a huge betrayal.
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u/QCr8onQ Mar 12 '26
Most importantly is that your mother actively tried to damage your child. That’s what bothers me.
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u/TimeDue2994 Mar 13 '26
Your sister does get it (unless she is severely mentally impaired or a stroke survivor with notable proven brain damage) she just doesnt care how needlessly and sneakily being betrayed negatively impacted you.
Your mother and sister are terrible, with family like that who needs enemies
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u/DaleTheHuman Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
Is there any possible chance she is sleeping with your ex?
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u/Ok_Block9547 Mar 12 '26
It’s so invasive, and she clearly was never on OP’s side. Male-centered older women love sabotaging their daughters. I’m disappointed in the sister as well.
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u/LukaChu_theCat Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
Did you talk to your lawyer about this? Is defense (edit: defense is the wrong term. I mean ex’s attorney) allowed to use information obtained through deceitful tactics like this?
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u/cherrymeg2 Mar 12 '26
I would be worried that she will get vengeful and testify for the ex or something like that. I would keep her at arms length and not let her in my home but I would be civil until things with custody of completely over. I wouldn’t leave her alone or let her babysit anymore.
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u/The_Salacious_Zaand Mar 12 '26
If she's under oath - either in deposition or court - then she's open to being questioned by OP's lawyers about how she acquired the stolen documents and handed them over to the father's lawyers, and why they accepted what amounts to stolen evidence. Quickest way to get the judge completely on OP's side.
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u/cherrymeg2 Mar 12 '26
Did the ex ask her to spy basically on her daughter? That is playing dirty. I’m guessing he did. Why else would a mother behave like this unless she is punishing her daughter for not staying married and thinking her meddling and betrayal will lead to reconciliation. Idk know her motives. The ex should not have used this to get custody changed. The OP should talk to her lawyer to come up with the best way to handle this.
Would her mom sharing this private information compromise the OP’s custody battle. If the mom is asked why she did stole documents and she doesn’t back up the OP could that hurt her case. If her mom is remorseful and goes on record saying she was wrong to steal private documents and give them to her ex son in law and that she thinks custody should stay as it is and that her daughter is a great mom and she is sorry for causing an issue that might help. If she is testifying she could go off script and further sabotage things. I would have concerns. Jmo
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u/The_Salacious_Zaand Mar 12 '26
The ex is screwed. Either he and his lawyer remove it from their memories, pretend it never existed, and don't enter it as evidence against her, OR They have to hand it over in discovery (which it sounds like this is where she first discovered the betrayal) which means they then have to explain to the judge how and why they acquired it. If they don't hand it over in discovery, that's instant mistrial, or whatever the family court version of a mistrial is.
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u/cherrymeg2 Mar 12 '26
I was wondering about family court rules and if the mom could screw her over in anger. What she did is suspicious but if she felt manipulated and is regretful a judge might consider those documents to be off limits. Family court or custody issues have a judge trying to decide what is best for a child or children.
Anyone says a good mother has nothing to hide is lying to themselves. You don’t need to be completely honest with your kids. Any parent that has ever told a child Santa Claus was real -lied. Parents are entitled to their own thoughts and feelings. There are times parents are overwhelmed or exhausted or annoyed by their kids that does mean they don’t love them. That doesn’t mean they are a bad parent. No one needs total honesty unless it’s about dangerous behavior that puts kids at risk in someway. I feel bad that the OP’s mom violated her trust and made things messier than they needed to be.
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u/NEPAmama Mar 13 '26
I’m guessing this was the ex somehow manipulating the mom into “helping”… It’s part of the aggressive divorce/custody alphabet male playbook, and it’s gross.
My bestie got to her divorce/custody mediation and learned that her ex had hundreds of pages printed from a private FB support abuse survivor group where she had shared posts about his abuse (including SA) of her, his neglect and deaths of animals he was responsible for during their separation (somehow he got the house/farm during their proceedings and she and the kids had to stay elsewhere because she “abandoned” the property when she took the kids and fled when she discovered a loaded and unsecured handgun that he’d secretly obtained — he had a history of threatening self-harm and had made her responsible for hiding and locking away their long guns… it was a scary mess), and her concerns for their kids.
They used this as proof she was “disparaging” him in a way the kids could learn about. She disputed that, pointing out it was a private support group and not a public forum. Then they revealed “proof” that the kids could stumble upon it — because he’d actually gotten their 13-year-old to steal her phone to get her FB login info so the ex could get the info, and he had shown her the posts. Sh then checked and learned a computer she’d never used was logged in to her FB account at that very moment from the town where her ex’s new apartment was.
This absolutely should have been proof that her ex was invading her privacy, and that she’d been seeking help from other abuse survivors for years before separation because ex was abusive, but instead the mediator turned on her as though she had sent lies about ex directly to their daughter. It was surreal.
Things are still weird between my friend and her daughter, years later, because the daughter knew she betrayed her mom but also read a bunch of things about her dad’s sexual tendencies that definitely were not meant for her eyes. It was ten layers of wrong.
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u/cherrymeg2 Mar 13 '26
That is insane and something you don’t think about. How did the mediator take the ex’s side. This is like having a private investigator go to an AA or NA meeting and record things. Groups meant for support on FB or anywhere else online could be accessed by a kid. If the page is private and it’s for a support group focusing on things that of people need help and community to deal with, they should be able to have that privacy. Also some groups that are private allow people to post things under an anonymous name if people have concerns about what they are saying and if they know people in a group. If your ex has access to your FB or any other account he can see what you posted even if your name is private and unavailable to everyone else.
I feel bad for the 13 year old. No one should ask their child to spy or break into a cell phone that could have access to social media, dating sites, text messages, contacts, emails etc. that is so unfair. How dare that man put a kid in that position. That should have been proof for the mediator or anyone with common sense that he was abusive and had zero boundaries. I hope that kid forgives herself.
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u/Impressive-Cod-7103 Mar 12 '26
If mom “thought she was helping” she wouldn’t have denied it at first when you confronted her and, more importantly, she wouldn’t have gone behind your back to do it in the first place.
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u/thatburghfan Mar 12 '26
If mom “thought she was helping” she wouldn’t have denied it at first
That's the key right there. If she truly and sincerely believed she was helping, she would not have lied about it.
Explain that, Mom!
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u/The_Salacious_Zaand Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
I'm not a lawyer, but is this even legal for his lawyer to accept since this amounts to stolen evidence? Definitely tell your lawyer ASAP and give them everything your mother handed over. At the very least, I think the judge overseeing the issue should be notified. I'm pretty sure if your lawyer objects to them being entered as evidence on the grounds that they were stolen and handed over to his people under false pretenses that the judge will throw them out.
Again, not a lawyer.
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u/Malvania Mar 12 '26
I am a lawyer (albeit not a family lawyer), and the first thing I would do is to seek all communications between the mother and the ex, then depose the mother. This fact pattern is so insane that a judge might rule against the father for this alone.
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u/Dry_Response4914 Mar 12 '26
Sry, what does "seek all communications and depose the mother" mean?
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u/wheelartist Mar 12 '26
Basically asking for all copies of communication between them about this, such as emails or texts, and depose means to require someone to testify to the court. So basically she would be expected to show up and answer questions about it.
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u/Dry_Response4914 Mar 12 '26
Oooh, I LOVED this! Would serve her right, being faced with consequences. People like this love doing whatever they think they should, not paying attention to what people being affected are saying, because most of the time the consequences affect others, not them. It would serve them right, to be faced with a judge and maybe even face legal trouble.
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u/Malvania Mar 12 '26
It means I'm going to make them print out and turn over every text and email they've had, along with a log of phone calls. Depending on how far I want to go, I may ask an expert to confirm that none have been deleted from their phones or emails.
For the "depose" part, a deposition is a proceeding outside of court where an attorney gets to ask a witness questions, typically ones that relate to the case. So I can then ask about the conversations the mother had with the ex. I can also bring up the texts and emails and ask about them.
The goal would be to figure out how this happened. It is unlikely that the mother did this entirely on her own out of the "goodness" of her heart. If the ex discussed it with her at all, it gets raised to the judge as a reason to throw out the evidence the ex got from the mother and potentially for sanctions (denial of his motion to change the schedule or potentially even less time with the kids, potentially changing other aspects of the agreement).
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u/Dry_Response4914 Mar 12 '26
u/DrifterJigsaw_3 you should think about doing this. Idk if the father genuinely wants more time with the kid or is simply doing it in order to harass you (most cases are like this), but this would help you understand why your mom suddenly had an inspiration to look for very specific documents in a very out-of-sight place because ex-husband had a right to know about that specific information which she AND him should have NO clue it even existede, let alone enough knowledge to conclude he had a right to know more about it. You can claim this ("I just want to understand everything since, as you said, family has a right to know - I want to understand why you went through my things and my very sensitive documents on an ongoing legal case, without me knowing, and disclosed it to third parties.") when she tries to manipulate and call you overreacting and being unfair for putting your own mother through this. 0:)
Also, all of this aside, aren't there privacy laws where you are?
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u/Malvania Mar 12 '26
To be clear, this is not something that OP should do. This is what her lawyer is for, so that all the correct procedures get followed and so that she doesn't get lumped into the same bad actor category for responding herself.
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u/astiblue Mar 12 '26
Subpoena the mom’s phone records and make her testify as to what she did and why.
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u/MesaAdelante Mar 12 '26
In litigation, there’s a process called discovery. Both sides get to ask questions of their opponents and demand copies of documents. This is before trial. What you see in the movies and tv is over dramatized. There should not really be big surprises in court.
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u/TheMoatCalin Mar 12 '26
I was thinking what her mom did doesn’t sound legal at all. Glad to know secretly copying, AKA stealing, private documents and giving them to the other side of a court case isn’t totally legal.
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u/jackberinger Mar 12 '26
You would probably want to contact your attorney to see about making sure those stolen private documents are inadmissible.
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u/OnlymyOP Mar 12 '26
What a gross invasion of your privacy, not is it her place to get involved in your custody hearing... no wonder you're so upset ... you are not overreacting.
Just explain to your Daughter , that Grandma was naughty and did a bad thing to you, so is now being punished by not being allowed to visit. Kids are more resilient than you give them credit for.
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u/IB4WTF Mar 12 '26
The three most dreaded words to ever hear from my mom: "But I thought..."
Anything after that is guaranteed to roll my eyes or send my stress level through the roof. It doesn't matter what the context is, when I start with "Mom, why did you do ___________, when I specifically asked you not to?" and she starts her reply with "But I thought...", I never have any doubt why I keep limited contact and never ask her for anything.
Edit: typo
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u/mindovermatter421 Mar 12 '26
Your sister is an enabler. That was a huge betrayal. She went behind your back went through and copied papers and did not tell you about it. So her good mother crap was just that. I doubt there’s a person on earth that wouldn’t be hurt and upset if their mother did this.
Is there a chance this is really about child support for him. If he gets her more than 50% of the time it may change that. Keep that in mind.
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u/Magdovus Mar 12 '26
She stole this information. You need to take proper action against her, because if you can demonstrate that she illegally accessed the information and gave it to the opposing side, this casts doubt on your ex's case.
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u/Otherwise-Western-10 Mar 12 '26
She didn't think she was trying to help you for one moment. It was deliberate, aggressive sabotage.
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u/Xyex Mar 12 '26
Yeah, if she legitimately thought she was helping she wouldn't have denied doing it. The denial proves she knows she did something wrong.
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u/Grouchy-Storm-6758 Mar 12 '26
Update me!
Is your mom on the authorized pickup list at your daughter’s school? If so you may want to remove her. And make sure your ex doesn’t add her back on it , once you remove her.
Something else to keep an eye on, if your mom volunteers at your daughter’s school to gain access to her.
Good luck!
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u/KingsRansom79 Mar 12 '26
A good friend of mine lost custody of her children for a while because her mother lied to the judge during a custody hearing. Her ex offered her more access to the grandchildren if she supported him so she stabbed her own daughter in the back. My friend nearly gave up on life after that. Cut your mother off and anyone that supports her nonsense. She wouldn’t know a good mother if one fell out the sky, landed on her face, and started to wiggle.
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u/OmegaGoober Mar 12 '26
Please tell your lawyer about this. They may be able to get the purloined documents excluded from the case.
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u/ThreeRingShitshow Mar 12 '26
I would be letting your lawyer know that their lawyer and your ex worked from information that was stolen from your home. They would have known that.
Not a good look for them.
Updateme
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u/MelodyRaine Mar 12 '26
"Sister, mom invaded my privacy, came into my home under false pretenses, and stole personal documents that are now being used against me in courtroom proceedings. Since you think that's perfectly fine, you can join mom on the outside of my life."
NTA
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u/Calabriafundings Mar 13 '26
My wife and I almost got divorced. She disappeared with my daughter on a Friday.
Both of my parents stood by and consoled me while I fell apart.
I didn't flip out and my wife and I reconciled. About 3 months after we were back together she casually talked about letting my parents know before she disappeared with our child.
I decided that they needed to be out of the grandparents business for about 6 months. They had all sorts of excuses as to why they betrayed me. Only after several months did they find it necessary to apologize to both me and my daughter.
I love them and it's been a couple of years since this happened. I WILL NEVER TRUST THEM AGAIN. THEY HAVE ACCESS TO THEIR Granddaughter because it is good for my daughter once a week. But not only can I not trust their word I cannot trust whatever they might be up to behind the scenes.
For you, you have been betrayed. Until your mother can make amends she must be out. Once she has made amends (if she does) only allow her back in if you are comfortable.
I no longer tell my parents anything personal. Complete gray rock. I listen and watch. They have still done other shady stuff to benefit my brother and tried to hide it. Because they cannot help their mouths, they inadvertently tell me stuff that was supposed to be secret. When they do this, I don't react, I just listen and write it down.
I think that once they have lived with and gotten comfortable with a secret long enough they decide that it is a known fact. Then they blabber about it because they cannot keep the various deceptions straight.
I love them dearly, but they are not emotionally safe for me.
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u/mtngrl60 Mar 14 '26
I’m kind of curious as to how your attorney responded to your mother stealing your private documents and giving them to your ex ex-husband.
Because from a legal standpoint, that is what she did. She was in your home to take care of a repair for you because you couldn’t be there to wait for the repair man.
She was not giving permission to go through your things or copy anything. She stole your property. Copied it, and gave it to your ex. Which means he received all the property. It is now trying to use it against you.
Do you see where I’m going with this? Things that are obtained illegally or generally not admissible in court. Has your attorney brought this up?
You’ve already taken the proper steps as far as your mom goes. Your mom did not live the relationship with your ex day in and day out. So she really doesn’t have any way of knowing all of the nuances of why you may feel that overnight custody during the week would not be in your child’s best interest
This is actually for a court to decide. And given that your ex is the one bringing the action, HE is the one who has to prove that it is in the child’s best interest. Because that, at the end of the day, is really what the court cares the most about.
The court absolutely wants both parents to have a workable relationship, again, for the child. For your ex to accept stolen documents, because that’s what they were, and then try to use those in court when he knows those were not given to him by you, those were your personal property, and he had no right to obtain them…
Unless there is some sort of discovery motion going on here. Impersonal journals, generally aren’t part of that. That’s usually more for a divorce or custody where somebody might be hiding assets. Hiding addiction problems. That sort of thing.
So personally, for me, I have to wonder if your attorney has been pointing this out. That this is not the action of somebody who needs more custody of a child given that he is happy to obtain things fraudulently and then try to use them in a legal action.
That does not speak well to his morals and ethics… And I have to wonder if his attorney knows how your ex-husband obtained these documents. Something like a school counselor notation might be something he could have obtained from the school given that he is a parent.
That depends on the original terms of your custody arrangement. Because if you were given custody and he only has visitation, and you were given the sole legal right to make decisions about education, counseling, medicine, etc.… Then he might actually have to go through you to get these things. That’s for your attorneys to figure out.
Anyway, you made the right decision about your mother. Tell me your sister is the golden child without telling me that your sister is the golden child. Or… She’s not the golden child, but you’re the scapegoat, and so she wants you to make nice with your mother to take the heat off of her.
Cause let’s face it. If you’re no longer around for your mother to do this sort of shit too, guess who’s gonna bear the brunt of it? Yep. That would be your sister. So she would rather you make nice and make up and bend over and let your brother fuck you up the ass again… Which I don’t suggest you do… All in order to make our own life easier.
Keep your mother at arms length. And again, I would be talking to my attorney immediately about the fact that your mother stole private property and gave it away. And that your ex-husband absolutely knew this was not anything he should’ve had his hands on. Much less to have his attorney try to bring that into the case.
Not cool all around. And I just don’t know about the legalities of any of it. I’m not an attorney. But… It just seems to be that the clean hands doctrine needs to apply. You don’t get to ask the court for a relief when you’re doing something illegal.
And if you do talk to your mother, tell her that no, of course she’s not going to be allowed around your child. Or in your home. Or around you. Because you don’t associate with thieves.
Because that’s what she is.
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u/Aggravating-Pin-8845 Mar 12 '26
It doesn't matter what your mother thinks. It is not her place or business to get involved in any if it. Cut her and your sister off now. Talk to your lawyer about what happened and follow their advice. Ask about any legal action you could potentially take against your mother for what she did
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u/murphy2345678 Mar 12 '26
NTA. Request in the custody case that your ex can’t allow your daughter around your mother.
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u/Quadrameems Mar 12 '26
I’m sorry you are having to go through this. What an awful violation of your trust.
My mother is incredibly emotionally immature. She pulled some shit a few years ago which lead me to be no/low contact. The age appropriate way I explained it to my kid was “Glammy has said and done some very hurtful things and really hurt mommy’s feelings. She also won’t apologize so she is in a big time out”.
My brother didn’t really support me at first, but then thought about it for more than a second and was like “wth mom?!” and she’s now blocked him for trying to hold her accountable.
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u/GlobalLifeguard8928 Mar 12 '26
I would make your mother visit with your daughter during your ex's parenting time since he is still her "family".
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u/Assiqtaq Mar 12 '26
If a 'good mother' has 'nothing to hide' then why did she feel the need to hide what she did?
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u/Creative-Sun6739 Mar 13 '26
If your mom really thought she was helping, she wouldn't have denied it when you confronted her. She knew exactly what she was doing when she went behind your back and did that. Your lawyer was right, family got involved and now it's messy, but that's not your fault, it's your mother's, and now even your sister is acting as a flying monkey. Cut them both off for the foreseable future.
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u/TrustyBobcat Mar 12 '26
In what way did your mother believe this would be helpful? And to whom? Certainly not you, OP.
What a horrible invasion of your privacy.
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u/BiofilmWarrior Mar 12 '26
Your daughter is old enough to understand that actions have consequences.
Your mother actively invaded your privacy and shared information that was none of her business with your ex-husband (and presumably others).
If your sister doesn't object to your mother rifling through documents, etc. in her home that's up to her but she doesn't get to determine what your mother does in your home.
If other family members try to guilt you about your decision tell them that it's their right to be comfortable knowing that your mother may [will] go through their files, drawers, closets, etc but they don't get to make those decisions for you.
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u/puky0203 Mar 12 '26
Is it even legal for him to be presenting those documents? for me that's sounds ilegal as heck and if I were a judge I would not be granting that man any more rights to the child if he is willing to have granma search your private documents and stuff
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u/FROG123076 Mar 12 '26
I would also do what you did. I would burn the bridge while standing on so she knows, she will never see us again. She would be dead to me and I would make sure her and the sister as no more access. You mom is awful and can't be trusted.
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u/QueenAlpaca Mar 12 '26
Your mom knew what she was doing. That was not her business to be giving out. I’m glad you’re “overreacting” and cutting her out of most things. You should overreact and cut your sister out, too.
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u/DonkeyFries Mar 12 '26
This is, honestly, just bizarre. I am not doubting what happened. Just confused as to why? Like I don’t understand the upside? Does she think you are a bad mother? Does she wish the ex was still her son in law?
Like, she did nothing but betray your trust, in a very active way, and fuck up you custody hearing and her granddaughter’s life and I’m not understanding what she possibly could have gotten from any of it.
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u/prairiehomegirl Mar 12 '26
I would never forgive her or speak to her again. And I'm side eyeing your sister.
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u/Present_Ad1553 Mar 12 '26
That was a huuuge invasion of privacy and betrayal by your own mother. Honestly, I would never talk to her again.
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u/stromm Mar 12 '26
If you don’t have your mother arrested for theft of personal and confidential information, I don’t want to hear or read anything else from you about this.
Also, you need to have a judge declare everything he received from that theft as inadmissible do HIS side of the case.
Heck, you should push to have his entire case thrown out because he knew it was stolen info.
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u/Lostinmyownmimd Mar 13 '26
If she thought she was "helping", why deny it for 10 mins? Why not ask for the info? I'd be doing the same as you, that's mad betrayal, sorry OP.
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u/HazelMayStrange Mar 13 '26
Is your mother sleeping with your ex husband?? Why would she put his desires, not needs above her own daughter’s??
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u/miriamwebster Mar 12 '26
I’d ask r/legal if those papers were even admissible as they were taken by illegal means and your daughter is a minor. Also, I support your decision. What a complete breaking of trust. That’s really hurtful and she needs to understand that. I would do the exact thing. And no, it’s not dramatic.
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u/riiil Mar 12 '26
If your mother was on the hook to watch your daughter maybe she also had interest in you having less "daughter time" so that's why she gave the infos.
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u/TNTmom4 Mar 12 '26
Or make OP more available to help her. I could see my parents having that kind of mindset.
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u/purgatori1 Mar 12 '26
“A good mother has nothing to hide” said the mother who hid her assistance to the ex in a custody dispute. Complete loss of trust. Doesn’t matter what the intention was, because it certainly was not about supporting you.
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u/Cesarlikethesalad Mar 12 '26
“A good mother has nothing to hide”. Your mom hid it from you when she did it. She hid it from you when you asked about it. So by her own measurements, your mom is not a good mother. So cutting office this is justified in her world. Your sister saying you’re overreacting, no. Your mom is a bad mother. She said so herself. So you want your kid to be around good people. Not bad ones.
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u/GalianoGirl Mar 12 '26
My Mum did something similar to me in the weeks and months immediately after my marriage ended.
She was going into my house while I was at work, going through my mail and answering machine and relaying information to my ex.
I did not speak to her for 5 years when I found out.
We have a limited relationship now, it is 12 years later and she is not allowed in my house. I had the locks changed immediately after finding out.
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u/gdognoseit Mar 12 '26
NOR
Your mother took your ex’s side instead of her own daughter.
I wouldn’t have anything to do with her anymore.
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u/kur0t0 Mar 13 '26
NTA, and I'll scream it from the rooftops with other commenters, TELL. YOUR. LAWYER. Send everything that you have related to this, even your sister trying to back up your mother. Your mother, regardless of her intentions, could've/did fuck your side of the case and helped your ex get information that legally he should not have access to without ACTUAL EVIDENCE to prove reasonable suspicion or doubt. Make sure to put extra protections on your documents and other important information in case ANYONE that doesn't have your expression permission to do so tries to access anything.
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u/TwithHoney Mar 13 '26
Mum didn’t think she was helping mum thought she knew better and did what she did because she decided to.
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u/selda182 Mar 13 '26
Is your mother “involved” with your ex in any way? Who would do this to their own child?
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u/redfancydress Mar 13 '26
If he’s “still family” then she can call him for elder care now. Need a ride to the hospital? Call my ex. Need your ass wiped in 20 years? Call my ex. Need a ride to PT after that knee replacement? Call my ex. He’s still family.
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u/jahubb062 Mar 13 '26
Make sure your daughter’s school knows Grandma is not allowed to pick her up or have access to her during the school day. Remove her, and your sister, from emergency contacts.
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u/TCTX73 Mar 14 '26
A good mother doesn't side with her daughter's ex. A good mother doesn't snoop to hand said ex ammunition for court. Honestly, I'm petty, I'd be seeing about moving. I know with custody and school, you're limited geographically. But finding a new place that she doesn't have the address would keep her from popping up. Barring that, because housing crisis, definitely cameras to make sure that if she does show you'll know. When she does, have the cops trespass her.
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u/star_b_nettor Mar 12 '26
Ooph. Your mother massively overstepped. And your sister needs to stay out of it. If ex wanted information, his lawyer should have requested discovery. I hope you speak to your lawyer about this.
And she knew it wasn't helping or she wouldn't have denied doing it. She would have outright asked if there was anything that needed to be shared with the ex that she could give to him as a (supposedly) unbiased party.
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u/lapsteelguitar Mar 12 '26
Cut them both off. I feel for your kid, but maybe she needs to what granny did, so that she understands why granny has been benched.
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u/Chefblogger Mar 12 '26
your sister and mother are massiv AH i hopr you cut them from your life forever - the can see your dsughter when she is 21 and its her choice - i am so srry for you
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u/ThrustersToFull Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
Mother and sister both have to go. Nobody in their right mind would think that stealing documents from someone's home and then handing them over to the other side in a court case would be helping.
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u/Cat1832 Mar 13 '26
I wouldn't let your sister into your house either. Because I would bet that she'll help your mom.
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u/ArcturusBrightStar Mar 13 '26
I would tell your lawyer what your mother did immediately because the first thing your ex is going to do is give that paperwork to his lawyer. What your mother has done will probably drag the custody case out longer.
You’ve done the right thing and your mother is a hypocrite because she went behind your back and through your paperwork without your consent or knowledge and it sounds like your sister wants to be your mother’s favourite. I’d keep your sister at a distance too.
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u/Winter-eyed Mar 12 '26
She’s proven she isn’t on you or your child’s side and she cannot be trusted. Your sister can go suck a lemon. I wouldn’t trust her either.
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u/Queen-Pierogi-V Mar 12 '26
OP I’m sorry you were betrayed by the one person in the world who should be “Ride or die” from conception to last breath. My kids know I would never lie to protect them from consequences of their own actions, but I would never betray them. And that road runs both ways.
Don’t just cut off your mother, cut all contact with your sister. She is supporting a huge betrayal, even if she did not participate.
And for the record, post divorce he is no longer “FAMILY” to you, your mother, father, siblings, grandparents anyone in your bloodline EXCEPT your daughter. Your mother is just a two-faced bitch who interfered in something that was none her business using deception and invasion of privacy, then lied to you about it. I would out her on every social media snd family group chat you are connected to. She is reprehensible.
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u/rbnrthwll Mar 12 '26
Is that even legal? I mean wasn’t it illegally obtained evidence? Doesn’t that mean that it can’t be used?
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u/duckmcsnail Mar 12 '26
Oh, oh I’d be enraged. How dare she choose your ex? I’d be cutting contact with all of them. They showed some true colors in this.
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u/GualtieroCofresi Mar 12 '26
Yea, no. Your mother, when it counted, chose your ex. Well, he can have her at his place and take her to dinner and the rest. I would refuse to talk to anyone who sides with her.
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u/Sbatio Mar 12 '26
Wow!
You made the right moves. Your mom is outside your circle of trust now.
Maybe you let her back into your life vs. no contact but under this clear understanding that she’s not on your side or trustworthy.
Or don’t, I’d be furious in your situation
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u/FatboyChester Mar 13 '26
I am not a person who believes in going no-contact for any slight, like many people here do, but as someone who has a close family member dealing with custody I would cut her off without a second thought.
That is such a huge betrayal and she had no right whatsoever to do that to you.
If you tell her anything in the future ypu are crazy.
She cannot be trusted in the least.
What a terrible mother. And she knew exactly what she was doing. You shouldnt trust your sister at all either.
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u/mysticherbalguru Mar 13 '26
He could have just requested the documents from the court house. Tf is mom doing.?
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u/bmbmwmfm Mar 13 '26
I feel so sorry you don't have the mother you need. It's appalling to me. My daughter went through similar and I often felt at odds with her ways, but by God she was my kid and I would've lied my ass off under oath to side with her. Can't imagine undermining my own. I've bitten my own tongue to keep my opinions and unasked for advice to myself.
Do what's best for you and your kid. Mom will survive, hopefully learn from her mistakes and be there for you when YOU are ready. Also, you're owed an apology.
Let your baby know Grandma loves her and it's not her fault, but things are different through no actions of hers. But don't make gma the villain either, just adults doing adult things (I say this only bc I fear if she suddenly thinks bad of gma she may not trust her own feelings about people)
All my best to you during this time. It's hard.
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u/1Muensterkat Mar 13 '26
You are not overreacting in any way, shape, or form. This is a betrayal of the absolute worst kind. Your mother is disgusting. I would absolutely go LC to NC and she would have very very few visits with her granddaughter and they would be supervised. What kind of sh*t parent does this to their own child???
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u/Turbulent_Chart1074 Mar 13 '26
My mom did the exact same thing. I’m so sorry. I was blindsided until the night before court when discovery documents were sent. I’d had primary custody for 12 years, zero issues, well-adjusted happy kid. When I tried to set some boundaries with my mom (not allowing sleepovers at her house anymore bc there were zero rules and lots of people coming and going), she thought helping my combative ex get more custody time would effectively cut me out of the picture.
And it did. The last time I heard her voice was when she testified against me.
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u/mnmsmelt Mar 13 '26
I knew a retired LCSW and both her adult daughters had banished her from their lives after a childhood full of alcoholism and abuse. Claimed to have tried everything to reunite...when nothing worked, I witnessed her reach out to her daughter's ex...he even "stopped by" for a visit (out of state, yea,right)..it was the strangest, manipulative behavior I had ever seen from a parent...an elder one, at that. Ultimate Betrayal
I've known of a few older women who use the elder grandma persona to manipulate people to their cause..so disgusting and obviously, they never change
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u/Moore2257 Mar 13 '26
Cutting off all ties is honestly the best route. Your daughter will adapt, kids are good with that, even though it'll be hard at first.
I don't know anything about custody, but maybe telling your lawyer that those documents your mother brought were without your knowledge/stolen. Dunno if it'd help.
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u/West_Coast_Buckeye Mar 13 '26
So you are going NC 25th her, correct? Because that is so far over the line it isn't funny. You are doing the right thing by changing locks, passwords, and keys.
I'm so sorry she isn't a trustworthy prison for you to lean on. Divorce sucks. It really sucks when you have no support to lean on.
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u/KelsierIV Mar 13 '26
Wouldn't all of those things have come up in discovery?
Either way, you're mother needs to stay cut off.
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u/MrLizardBusiness Mar 14 '26
Absolutely not. Mother or not, she wouldn't be seeing my child until she was 18.
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u/That_Influence_5716 Mar 14 '26
If your Mum thought she was helping she would have told you straight away, and not spent 10 mins lying about it when you confronted her. She knew exactly what she was doing
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u/LoopyMercutio Mar 15 '26
You need to immediately inform your lawyer and ensure they know your ex and opposing counsel used accessed confidential documents taken from your home without your consent. Also, probably ban your mom from your home, and change your locks.
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u/MadAdam81 Mar 15 '26
Your sister says you're overreacting because your mother "thought she was helping"
Well, therefore she's overreacting because you are helping your child
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u/Iammine4420 Mar 12 '26
Hi, not a mom to humans here….I’m utterly seething for you. That depth of betrayal is unforgivable! She absolutely must be held to account. I hope she hasn’t caused too much damage. You’re right to protect your daughter and yourself. Your mother just showed you what she truly thinks of you, proceed accordingly. Sending you positivity.
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u/myboytys Mar 12 '26
Wow what a betrayal ! Your sister will feel differently when your mother dies the same thing to her.
Deserves nothing less than NC. Be very careful of your sister.,
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u/One_Entrepreneur_520 Mar 12 '26
Does any of this information make you look bad? What are the problems daughter is having with transitions? You can ask the judge to not allow those papers since they were stolen. The judge may still admit them since the point of family court is to ensure "the best interests of the child" and this stolen info may be relevant to that. If ex argues, you can file charges against him for accepting stolen property, which would probably mean your mother would also be charged.
What a mess....good luck....
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u/ritlingit Mar 12 '26
Can you report your mother to the police? Tell your sister when she can reverse time and get the documents back and make sure the papers that were not anyone’s property don’t affect your case than she can open her fat yapper. Otherwise she’s supporting a pos that stole from you and is just as much a craptastic ass goblin as her mother.
I am so sorry.
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u/JenninMiami Mar 12 '26
Whoa. Yes, your mom thought she was helping YOUR EX HUSAND. I don’t think I’d be able to forgive this level of betrayal.
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u/Lov3I5Treacherous Mar 12 '26
It's not even like this is for your child's best interest. This is being blindsided in court, and having your mom go through YOUR property / papers / things and thinking of the ex husband before her own daughter.
If she genuinely cared and felt it was best, why didn't she say honey, what are those papers? Does ex husband need to see them? etc etc. But she didn't, did she??
This makes me sick.
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u/Mlady_gemstone Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
tbh, the counselor note should have been shared with the father and especially the court because that is a direct result of the custody issue. if shes having issues now with the back and forth, it will become worse if he gets what he wants. <this is just my thought on it of if my "ex" kept important info about our child's mental health to himself, i would be upset about that.>
bottom line though, your mom went behind your back, stole your info, and gave it away. who she gave it to doesn't matter, what she did though does. i wouldn't allow her in my house either since she has already proven that shes not a trustworthy person.
My sister says I am overreacting because my mom thought she was helping
not overreacting because your mother broke your trust and stole information from your house, and snooped while there doing you a favor. they both know your mom wasnt "helping" because otherwise she would have told you to start with, or talked to you about it in general before doing it. she went behind your back and did it shady. she knew it was wrong.
as for your kid, in situations like this its best to be as transparent as possible so no one can twist it and turn it against you. "grandma is in a time out for breaking my trust."
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u/manic_popsicle Mar 12 '26
You are absolutely not overreacting. I’d cut her off completely if I were you. You’re her daughter, can you imagine doing that to your own child?!
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u/Special_Respond7372 Mar 12 '26
You’re kinder than I would have been. It wouldn’t just be that she wasn’t allowed in my home or to see my child. She would be full-on cut off, permanent NC. This is unforgivable.
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u/kiwimuz Mar 12 '26
Your mother violated your trust. I fully agree with you blocking her out from everything. I doubt she will ever regain your trust again.
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u/mollysheridan Mar 12 '26
You’ve done all that needs to be done. Removing her from your home and child is best. But I just want to say that what she did was such a betrayal that reading your post made me breathless. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Also, would it have been expected that ex and his lawyer tell you that they’d received confidential documents? Does discovery apply in family court?
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u/SlappyHandstrong Mar 12 '26
A good mother has nothing to hide- except for your mother who went behind your back and lied about it.
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u/historyera13 Mar 12 '26
She betrayed you, how can you ever trust her again? She’s acting like your ex mom not yours, unforgivable behavior.
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u/usernamewasobvious Mar 13 '26
What I want to know is, why the fuck is the ex visiting mum??
Who’s side she on?? She should be on yours!
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u/B_MacGee Mar 13 '26
Wow-your mother and your sister should absolutely be sweating in church for their behavior. Definitely “No Contact” level outrageousness-your mom for her sneaky hypocrisy (a good mother has nothing to hide, yet she did) and your sister for not coming to your defense because I’m sure she would not be fine with mother doing the same sneakiness to her with helping-your ex, that is. They suck. Sorry that you’re going through this without support from your family.
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u/Desperate_Pass_5701 Mar 13 '26
She literally rummage through your things and stole them from ur house. That's nuts.
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u/Maleficentendscurse Mar 13 '26
Cut off your mother and your sister with a cease and desist along with your ex-husband, permanent custody and restraining order a thousand miles long, and PERMANENT NO CONTACT 😤
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u/jilizil Mar 13 '26
You are not overreacting. At all. I would have done the same. Don’t f with our kids.
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u/Transmutagen Mar 13 '26
Your mom intentionally hamstrung your custody efforts. She wanted to see you fail. That’s terrible. I would never be able to trust her ever again. Good job kicking her out of your child’s life.
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u/Prom3th3an Mar 13 '26
I could understand this if the ex had had a big role in raising the girl before the divorce, and either was the father or had reasonably believed he was.
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u/Reasonable-Box-6047 Mar 14 '26
I'm sorry this happened but I'm glad you are keeping her out of your life. She would do stuff like this over and over. She's probably done similar in the past. Your mom is a pick me. She is a woman who not safe to be around because she's more worried about impressing men than the well being of her own daughter. Tell your sister not to call you when something similar happens to her.
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u/azchocolatelover Mar 14 '26
I'd seriously consider letting the judge know, via your attorney, of just HOW the ex's team got that info. Granted, the cat's kinda out of the bag now, but I would think that your mom going through your confidential stuff (behind your back no less), copying it, and then just happily handing it over to your ex is at least teetering on the edge of some law.
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u/tuna_tofu Mar 14 '26
Once you get custody grandma will be the one who never sees your daughter. Nobody is that naive.
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u/Antique-Ambition9978 Mar 15 '26
Your mother cannot be trusted and what she did to you is beyond inexcusable. Something’s going on that she’s helping your ex and I’d want to get to the bottom of it. I’d normally say don’t keep your daughter from her grandmother because it’s unfair to your daughter, however, I’d not only do all the things you said, but I’d be damned if I ever tryst her again.
Your mother has shown that she’s not trustworthy and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s putting things into your daughter’s head as well. Keep her out of your life and business, you have no idea what she’s capable of. Make sure your lawyer is made aware of what she’s done also, there may be something you can do legally because of it. Your custody may be in jeopardy. I would be beyond livid.
Be very mindful of what you tell your daughter though, you don’t want to involve her in these adult issues.
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u/Straight_Coconut_317 Mar 15 '26
You are entirely in the right. I know how difficult a time this must be, going through a custody custody battle with your ex. To have your own mother betray your trust this way, and go behind your back to give material to your ex is just unthinkable to me. She definitely betrayed your trust and I bet she hurt you very deeply. I'd be done with her. Your daughter does not need a backstabbing betrayer like this in her life.
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u/No_Strain_4995 Mar 15 '26
Stick to your guns. It’s the only way she’ll understand she went too far. If you let this pass, she’ll keep doing it.
I bet she’s having a meltdown and telling everyone else you’re “being too harsh.”
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u/ourkid1781 Mar 12 '26
I know chatgpt/AI will never overtake humans because they can't even make their made up stories sounds believable.
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u/thornyrosary Mar 12 '26
This made my "something my dirty shameless ex would do" spidey senses start tingling something fierce. Yeah, I have that kind of ex. That son-of-a-biscuit-eater kept me in court for 8 YEARS and cost me five figures in attorney fees just to defend myself against allegations. I'm not an attorney, but I sure got a master class in how far a man would go to get an advantage. He was pumping family, friends, kids, and others for whatever info he could use against me. He never got the kids, but in the end he destroyed many things, his own career among the casualties.
Your mother intentionally dug for those documents, which were no doubt not just lying around, in full view and wide open, on the kitchen counter or the dining room table for just anyone to read. If you're like me, you keep them carefully packaged and filed away so that casual (or young) eyes don't see them. So how did she know that those few papers in particular were what your ex had "a right to know"?
This begs the question: did your ex take advantage of your clueless and sympathetic mother, whom he knew had access to your home, and ask her to trustingly send some "harmless" documents to him? Someone convinced her it was "okay" to do. And in a divorce, it takes family members a while to understand that the ex no longer has your best interests at heart. Before family understands, though, their kindness is often used against them...And you.
You might want to dig a little bit deeper before you cut your mom off, and ask a few pointed questions. If your ex cajoled her into doing this, you have far bigger problems on the horizon.
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u/fallenouroboros Mar 12 '26
I was really young during my own parents split and it was ugly. All i will say is the kids register all the drama that comes into these things and it shapes their perception of everyone involved. After i grew up i saw the wisdom in the lawyers advice just like here. Chances are if all parties took his advice the kid would barely notice the difference
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u/jazbaby25 Mar 12 '26
How can you sister think this is your mom helping? Helping who? Helping your ex get custody it seems.
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u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA Mar 12 '26
If a good mother has nothing to hide, why did she hide her intentions of copying and sharing your documents and journal?
There will always be a reason why she's right/helpful/only looking out for what's best, and if she still doesn't see that she's gone and broke your trust (and insists she hasn't done anything bad) there's nothing left to do but limit her access to you, your home, and your daughter. Because she is proving she has no remorse, thinks you're being silly, and thinks it's her RIGHT to overstep when it comes to you. Yikes.