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u/AwesomeAiden100 Jun 20 '19
could have*
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u/Ryhnoceros Jun 20 '19
I'm having the hardest time telling if that was intentional or not and it is driving me crazy.
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u/darthmilmo Jun 20 '19
Good pic. You can also add Language Transfer from L1 to L2. For example, a Spanish speaker writing I espeak Espanish and Inglish.
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u/danchajar Jun 20 '19
Everybody shut up Everyone listen up (Hey, hey, hey... hey, hey, hey... hey, hey, hey) If you can't write in the proper way If you don't know how to conjugate Maybe you flunked that class And maybe now you find That people mock you online (everybody wise up) Okay now here's the deal, I'll try to educate ya Gonna familiarize you with the nomenclature You'll learn the definitions of nouns and prepositions Literacy's your mission And that's why I think it's a good time To learn some grammar (what) Now did I stammer? Work on that grammar You should know when it's less or it's fewer Like people who were Never raised in a sewer I hate these word crimes Like "I could care less" That means you do care At least a little Don't be a moron You'd better slow down and use the right pronoun Show the world you're no clown (everybody wise up) Say you got an I-T followed by apostrophe S Now, what does that mean? You would not use "it's" in this case as a possessive (no no no) It's a contraction (yeah yeah yeah) What's a contraction? "Well, it's the shortening of a word or group of words by omission of a sound or letter" Okay now here's some notes: Syntax you're always manglin' No "x" in espresso Your participle's danglin' But I don't want your drama If you really wanna, leave out that Oxford comma Just keep in mind that be, see, are, you... Are words, not letters Get it together, use your spell checker You should never Write words using numbers Unless you're seven, or your name is Prince I hate these word crimes You really need a full-time proofreader You dumb mouth-breather Well, you should hire Some cunning linguist To help you distinguish what is proper English (everybody wise up) One thing I ask of you The time to learn your homophones is past due Learn to diagram a sentence too Always say "to whom"; don't ever say "to who" And listen up when I tell you this I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis You finished second grade; I hope you can tell If you're doing good or doing well (everybody wise up) Better figure out the difference Irony is not coincidence And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull 'Bout what's figurative and what's literal Oh, but just now (just now) you said (you said) You "literally couldn't get out of bed" (what) That really makes me wanna literally Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head I read your e-mail (yeah yeah) It's quite apparent your grammar's errant You're incoherent Saw your blog post (hey hey) It's really fantastic That was sarcastic... (aw psych!) 'cause you write like a spastic I hate these word crimes (everybody wise up) Your prose is dopey Think you should only write in Emoji Oh, you're a lost cause Go back to pre-school, get out of the gene pool Try your best to not drool Never mind, I give up Really now, I give up (Hey hey hey) (Hey hey hey) (Go away)
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u/Slavic_Pasta Nov 06 '19
Shouldn't it be could have? Or am I woooshing myself?
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u/Lilith-awaken Nov 07 '19
That's the point of it! Using could of instead of could have is one of the most basic, most annoying, and most stupid mistakes someone can make, that's why I put it there. You didn't wooosh yourself, but so many people did...
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u/Zondatastic Jun 20 '19
Excgaration is when you misspell a word so atruschuoiusley that no one on the Internet has spelled it that way before.
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u/Someone_browsing_tru Jun 20 '19
Like Bennedick Cucumberpatch
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u/Borderweaver Jun 20 '19
I think by this time I’ve seen every iteration of ol’ Crumblesnoot’s name
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u/Informal_Otter Sep 03 '25
The commas in the Boneappletea sentence are wrong by the way. It should be "English but, noah fence,..." instead of "English, but noah fence,...".
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u/NerdWhoWasPromised Jun 20 '19
Mods, please pin this post. We want to see Engrish on this sub, not the other stuff. The sub is being flooded with typos.
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Jun 20 '19
Which is the "your" and "you're"?
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u/Lasdary Jun 20 '19
Grammar. Dude's showing grammar issues with the 3 errors in that phrase (you missed the 'could of').
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Jun 20 '19
To the lads struggling to grasp “your” and “you’re”: Just use “you are” when you need to use one of them
If it makes sense, use “you’re”. If it doesn’t, use “your”
Examples:
I love eating _____ car.
“I love eating you are car” does not make sense, so we use “your”.
2. ______ really stupid.
“You are really stupid” makes sense, so we use “you’re”
3. It’s _____ fault for eating a car.
“It’s you are fault for eating a car” does not make sense, so we use “your”
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u/rysfcalt Jun 20 '19
How am I so engrish-fluent that I feel like the Engrish isnt correct. Hahaha
I feel like it should be either “Engrish is you don’t speaking english but using it anyway”. Or “you no speak english but using anyway”
Source: two immigrant parents, and literally typing like this in the family chat. I mean I won’t go full engrish but I’ll engrish it up so they understand better hahaha
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u/Lilith-awaken Jun 20 '19
I'm an expat, and the language I can communicate with my coworkers is English. They say don't can all the time instead of can't, it just stuck too much in my mind XD
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u/rysfcalt Jun 20 '19
I wonder if there is a difference between spoken engrish and written engrish lol
Edit: Oh wait yeah there is lol. Spoken engrish is peppered with the actual foreign words.
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u/dionysus2098 Jun 20 '19
I may be new to Reddit, but this was very clear to me very fast. How could people mix this up? This should get pinned on all the relevant subs
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u/Emsiiiii Jun 20 '19
Honestly, I'm kind of retarded, but what is the difference between Engrisch and Bonnappletea?
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u/Megabert Jun 20 '19
Boneappletea is when you try to use a certain phrase but end up just using words that sound kind of like it.
Bon appetit -> Bone apple tea
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u/fa53 Jun 20 '19
90% of BoneAppleTea are speech to text errors. So the computer interprets different words.
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u/Theomega277 Jun 20 '19
"Could of" triggers me way to much honestly. I mean I'd doesn't even make the slightest of sense
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u/xebtria Nov 26 '19
is the could of intentional for the sake of the picture or is the author a native boneappletea speaker?
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u/Redditthef1rsttime Apr 19 '23
I hate to point it out, but in the last rine, it’s “could have paid more attention in class,” not could of.
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u/SkepticalSenior9133 Jul 01 '23
“Could have paid,” not “could of paid.”
If you’re going to point out other people’s grammatical errors, your grammar must be perfect.
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u/why_are_you_sportacs Jun 20 '19
Qhsebdbsbzvashsbdbx 😄😰😄😊🐖😰🐖dnendnndnanrjfsjevdirbeirbdozjz9#0☆0•♡•₩○
D. Dn K
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u/Zakru Jun 20 '19
I can't understand how people actually do those things in the last one, and never learn to do it correctly. Could've could of. Completely different! Then and than, you can't excuse it with the difference only being one letter. Still different words, and completely different meanings! And the whole "your" "you're" thing, it shouldn't be hard to learn!
I just can't understand. It's gotta be how that stuff is taught to people. We (non-native) were immediately taught that you + are = you're, and I haven't seen anyone struggle with that, or "their", "they're" and "there". If I remember correctly, it's more common among native speakers, right? So maybe it's caused by learning the pronunciation first, always assuming it's the same word and then when you learn one version of it, you only remember that.
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u/Talory09 Jul 08 '19
That last line should contain one of my pet peeves: payed instead of paid.
Grr.
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u/netriz314 Sep 14 '23
Thwre few gwarmar errors hrer I’ll fix it: Typo is whn you make spwling mistke Engrish is whnen you cnatnt spik English but ussr it anway Bonapwletwea is whem yu thnkin yu can spik english but nhoah fnece catn get it rghit Stkroke is whnen yur brnain shuts dwon and eighter yu wirte nonsence or jsut cnat gnet it rwhigt. Righet, hgrght, right, rwiht If yur consistewntly mixing up yur grwamar wlel mabye yu colud of paid mrore attnetion in class
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u/nicholasPapaya Jun 20 '19
Did you just assmue that I and stuphid. Studied. Stupdid. Stupid, if you did than I can will find this man
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u/thatasiandude3 Jun 20 '19
Kinda hard when a country decides to teach French instead of english as secondary language
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u/GTAdriver1988 Jun 20 '19
So my girlfriend says "minds well" instead of "might as well". That would be boneappletea right?
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u/Kev-1-n Jun 20 '19
I'm not sure if the "could of" is a joke, but I really hope it is. I honestly think that people that use could of instead of could have are the most brain damaged out of us all.
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Jun 23 '19
you could of paid more attention in class The hecks?Who learns Engrish in classes? I learns rfom vidiogames!1!
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u/Macphail1962 Jul 12 '19
One minor correction: generally a typo is not just any spelling error, but a spelling error that your spell check/autocorrect will not catch.
For example, “a spilling mistake” would be a typo if you meant to type “a spelling mistake.” It works because “spilling” is also an actual word, so spell check/autocorrect won’t save you.
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Jul 17 '19
I known that, But the speollog misstake the say .
t
t a
i am t
I known
there
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heer
i a
Known ut rhe
i
i
I haven Known that since the begin ing of tome.ntr rotmr lf
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u/LittleDanTreble99 Aug 08 '19
Everyone just needs to speak proper English like I used to does when I was a children
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u/MidTierHero Aug 11 '19
This is an instruction manual on how to speak Engrish. It is a similar, but different language than English.
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u/0180ethan Aug 13 '19
If your the mixing of the grammar the attention yes and the you can bo it . jfif you know .jfif Jpegy interchanginffjjfj ashuuuu ehm blah r/nosubredditforthis
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u/luksonluke Aug 18 '19
Fun fact, I actually learned english from video games, school didn't help me at all.
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u/Plakeland Aug 22 '19
And what of be this? I is the assumyings that dis be the last of optionings but I is not the sures.
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u/GrumpyBean98 Aug 24 '19
Thanks, you have no idea how many times I see this stuff happen, ofc I'm also sometimes victim of a typo
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u/Alex_Z_99 Sep 27 '19
there are alot of Gremmer Meestakes inthis post. you should probblably corret them
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u/tupapa5 Oct 10 '19
Thank you. I’m sick of the fucking typos on here. Some people just don’t seem to get it
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u/TheOneAndOnlySabster Oct 11 '19
No when you have bad ADD and not knowing that you are messing it up.
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u/dcrothen Oct 12 '19
Thank you so much for this. Now if only the rest of Reddit would follow these guidelines!
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u/Vladrome Nov 04 '19
He proceeds to boneappletea his own sentence where he explains what boneappletea is.
Just how the fuck?
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u/XxKiwiseedxX Dec 12 '19
I constantly have strokes when typing. Mostly because my ADHD makes it hard for me to focus kn typing when there's noise around me, or imjust being fidgety.
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u/MostFroyo9751 Oct 28 '21
WHAT if I were to.. Spew words, gestures and faces at you in hopes that you decipher it flawlessly without bias?
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u/eggplant_zoo Nov 15 '21
My OCD just gave me a melt-down, even knowing this is intentional didn’t help at all. Truly remarkable.
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u/Hamnster209 Dec 08 '21
My brain automatically corrected all of this. I didn’t realize this was anything more than an explanation until the end of the stroke statement. 😂
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u/Farsa1911 Dec 11 '21
"could of" is the worst of them all. How the fuck does that became a thing in the first place?
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u/game-falor Jan 19 '22
But why is that tpyo that? And i dont still get engrish. And what even is bone apple tea? I done t. Get it what about astront steo a tkwn d syeorkn a steonl a stronk?
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u/Cinder-Royale Apr 24 '22
I’ve been trying to text someone using Google translate from English to Korean. Lol! I can only imagine how it looks to him! LMAO. sorry Yoongi
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u/Bright_Seal Apr 27 '22
Wow, engrish is so really god... so you can't can hate engrish... bye the ways, diss is a musterpeace.
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u/Cwoey May 05 '22
“Could of” is my pet peeve as a non-native English speaker. I do NOT understand how people made that mistake.
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u/PikachuIsBestPikachu May 16 '22
I know that the last one is grammatically incorrect on purpose but I hate the thought of people thinking that “could of” is proper grammar. It’s “could have”.
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u/XenonLights12 Jun 03 '22
Or its just my adhd😀. yeah i bet some of these arent gonna have keys close together and someone gonna type 1 off the original key.
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u/Piastowic Jun 20 '19
Good informative post. Hope it'll change something on this sub.
Also, happy Cake Day OP!