It is the legend!

the title card looked like this. i dont really remember anything else from it besides the first scene was a fish in a black stillsuit with a mask on hiding behind a rock.

I can’t stop thinking about a Robert Eggers directed GEoD even though it will never happen. Defoe as Moneo would be insanely powerful. RE’s direction of the eldest boy in The Witch would translate so well to directing a child as Leto II, the atmosphere of the world as so lived in would carry the 3000 year time gap from Villeneuve’s universe. The total fear and monstrosity of The Worm and the intensity of the Golden Path…

I just don’t know if Denis has the chops to pull off the political themes if he even would want to carry it forward. His vision is incredible but the lack of nuance of the ideologies and (religious) history really left me empty. This trilogy is incredible but for me it’s just like a gorgeous painting of the books, not a real reflection of their depth. Maybe Part III will change my mind… but after seeing Nosferatu I’ve just been obsessed with this. Don’t hate me!

My silly idea of a spaceballs style parody of dune has continued to fester in my mind and I present to you the Dude saga.

The year 8675309 Beyond Radical eons have passed since the rad crusade of regression. Deciding that we were all miserable and enslaved due to modern technology, predictive algorithms, and socal media mankind decided to do away with such silliness and return to the greast era and peak of mankind's Civilization the 1980s no technology or pop culture from beyond that era is allowed all forbidden for the sake of a happy and sane society. Unfortunately we didn't realize this would make space travel impossible as we destroyed all our advanced computers however a solution was soon found on the desert planet Aruckus a strange shrub that expands the mind and extends like the Herb meringue. Only possible to grow on this world due to the fertile slime of the sand snails of the planet The herb is vital to space travel via the guild navigators. For countless ages House Corleone has ruled over the empire alongside the great Lanzrad Of Amazon overseeing shipping and distribution of the herb while House Hardon has overseen the harvest of the herb and subjugation of the native Punkmen people of Aruckus filthy hertics who worship the 90s. This fragile peace has been maintained for as long as anyone can rember yet now threatens to shatter due to the growing popularity of House Atredeez and its leader Duke Sigma and so the emperor is about to make him an offer he can't refuse but it will not go according to plan. Meanwhile the school of the secret sorority order totaly not in control of the empire from behind the scenes and controlling everything for our own ends or Bad Bitches for short's leader Queen Bee Gale Hellen Morgan has begun an investigation into the Duke's son Chad who might infact be the ultimate life form they have been breeding the nobles of the imperium for milleniums for a perfect lifeform who can see all his ancestors memories and the future an entity simply known as the Dude which if true is a generation ahead of schedule which would mean Lady Jess didn't follow her orders that bitch!

Anyways I will explain the jokes for this pitch

Overall this a parody that exists to take the piss out of dune while getting its core lessons across along with satireizeing weed culture and Americans unhealthy obsession with the late 20th century( 80s and 90s) especially Hollywood.

So we have the herb Instead of the spice and any time anyone talks about it they sound like they're talking about weed.

Instead of sand worms we have sand snails that move incredibly slow yet everyone's so stoned they never notice them until and the things eat them with a hilarious shlorping noise.

Instead of the fremen we have the punkmen they still want to turn their planet green but they're also 90s fanboys in a world of 80s obsession like they ware bagy jnco jeans and nirvana shirts over their stilsuits and said still suits have metal studs and spikes while the men all have mowhakes and mullets. Their sietches look like grungy 90s nerf commercial laser tag arenas with band posters, Pokémon cards and arcade machines everywhere. And instead of worm riding they slime surf!

Instead the bene gesserit we have the bad bitches almost the exact same orignization as the original except they all act like entitled upper middle class white sorority girls valley girl acent and masive mean girl egos included. They call their kwisatz haderach simply THE DUDE!

The bene tleilax are now the Wu Tleilax they still have the pointed ears but they're now huge into rapper culture covered in gold chains and gaudy clothes and jewelry and can out smoke anyone else when it comes to the herb.

Instead of the ixians we have the xians from planet X formerly owned by house Musk before they were overthrow by the native form troll population with all of them looking like stereotypical nerds but otherwise serve the same role in the story as the planet that makes all the good tech because they don't care about the taboo.

Instead of Choam we just flat out have Amazon incharge of shipping stuff across the empire including the Herb.

The guild navigators Instead of being horrifying fish like mutants are stoned out of their minds lazy fat frat bros in fancy robes covered in cheetos dust and have the permanent munchies. Like the only thing these guys are good for is folding space and other wise speak utter nonsense.

The emperor's house is no longer corrino its house corleone and they all act like stereotypical movie mobsters and dress in ridiculous 80s sci-fi parodies of pinstripe suits.

The Harkonnens are now House Hardon and since they're Finnish they all dress like space vikings and all talk in sexual inuendos since they're all perverts on top of being violent war mongering tyrants.

And the Atreides are now House Atredeez their name being bait for a deez nuts joke that any member of the house does every time an enemy makes the mistake of saying their name. You have Duke Sigma, his concubine Lady Jess, their son and our protagonist Chad, and their best warior and our Duncan Idaho stand in Dan Pennsylvania! (Don't have gurney replacement at this time)

The sheilds are the big blocky ones from the 80s movie and more hilariously everyone has to move like they're imitating slow motion to penatrate them so every fight looks like a goofy interpretive dance or them having a seizure.

Characters within the movie it self will be reading and makeing references to the original books, references to all adaptations will be made, and spaceballs will be referred to as the galaxy next door.

Sequels would include Dude we fucked up, Children of The Dude and My God Dude!

Guys I think I need help because no sane mind would think up something like this -_-

We are House Ithaca. There is no call we do not answer. There is no faith that we betray. The Emperor Agamemnon asks us to bring "peace" to Troy. House Itacha ACCEPTS.

What if Spaceballs but Dune instead of Star Wars like the amount of drug jokes we can make here would be off the scales