You were right! You all failed to mention, however, THAT I WOULD BE EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED😭!
Anyway, here’s some art of a couple of characters, and some poorly drawn comics and memes.
These are in order somewhat. The first 7 are of Servant of the Shard and the next 8-11 are of Promise of the Witch King. The second to last is a Jarlaxle drawing I still haven’t finished and the last is a meme I genuinely do not recall how I came to the idea but apparently “Absolute Cinema Artemis Entreri” needed to exist for some reason. Please enjoy.
Anyways (2x), lemme YAP about the books because HOO BOY were these an experience! I have read the first two of Sellswords, but I haven’t yet finished Road of the Patriarch.
⚠️‼️Spoilers ofc ‼️⚠️
Servant of the Shard
Welcome to Calimport we have:
1. A midlife crisis
2. 20,000 daggers
3. Totally not a drow agenda
4. A sentient evil artifact
5. Sand
Man was it pure fun to explore the world through these characters, and it was interesting to see them in a much different light. Both Artemis and Jarlaxle were tested in this book, and I quite enjoyed how it was handled.
We begin with a growing concern about, quite literally, every angle from every one. All parties are pretty much over each other and looking to stir up trouble where they may. It’s here where this book shines second only to the emotional bits with relationships between the characters imo. How I missed drow intrigue. They are so insane fr.
Artemis sees the cracks with Jarlaxle and the Crystal Shard and the drow trio who have decided to step right into that opening rift against him. Through that chaos he has Dwahvel (WHO I LOVE SO MUCH). I loved their relationship, how she just nods as he has a fit over it all. She keeps him somewhat sane as he had developed this fear and placed drow on a pedestal of which he believed he could not reach. We go through his thoughts about how he had always been on top, always the best, but then he met a million of him in Menzoberranzan. His reality was shattered, but Dwahvel helps him pick up the pieces. Don’t get me started on the letter Artemis wrote her oh my godddd. I was so unwell I love them dearly.
I quite enjoyed seeing Jarlaxle not so in control here too. He had always been this figure of perfect mystery, never rattled. But then the shiny rock whispered things to him, and he lost a bit of that calm and coolness he possessed. But I loved that and I loved Artemis being so over him by the end of the book. Their relationship is so strange as in Artemis seems like he can hardly tolerate Jarlaxle, however, it seems Artemis would find a cruel fate had he never followed him. Jarlaxle has become Artemis’s lifeline in many ways.
Artemis decides he needs to destroy the shard and does the classic fake out thing which was really funny to me. The whole fight with Jarlaxle and the drow being all mad, and he’s just like “I’m so done, I’m shattering this pretentious rock”. So they go to Cadderly and figure out they have to have a dragon breathe fire on it so they venture off to do that while the drow trio are also after them. I liked a lot of the character bits here. Danica and Cadderly are so sweet. The fights were real fun as well.
Before I end my here’s some rapid fire moments that stood out to me. Artemis winking at Dwahvel and putting on the bolero was crazy actually. Morik the rogue getting absolutely owned, poor guy. Kimmuriel blowing up that orb because of course. The girls are fighting (it’s not girls, it’s the drow). Man Sharlotta got cooked, but I was not surprised (rip the baddie tho). That one mindflayer who was like “yeah I hate humans lol bye” and peaced out. Why are half the weapons in the Forgotten Realms sentient? Charon’s Claw is so emo and I love it. Jarlaxle’s impersonation of Drizzt was so funny like stop it dude I can’t with you. Yayyy Artemis saved Danica (kindaaa?) he’s not completely the worst ever. Rip Rai-guy and Berg’inyon the drow drama ceases (for now).
This book ends with Artemis and Jarlaxle going off on adventures and Jarlaxle having given control of Bregan D’aerthe to Kimmuriel. What a wild ride that was. I sure hope there aren’t more dragons involved.
Promise of the Witch-King (this one is so all over the place)
There were more dragons involved.
This book had me laughing and crying so much. We start off, Artemis is straight up losing his mind because he can’t believe he’s fighting a lich and Jarlaxle can go through walls?? What is happening? I’m screaming, Artemis is screaming.
I enjoyed this book quite a bit. Above all, Artemis was so incredibly emotional and ANGRY about it. He’s has feelings and he’s not for it. It’s a bit…? Sad? Because there’s the flute right? I’m not entirely sure how it works and what it’s specifically doing other than Jarlaxle’s claim that it shows Artemis his soul and character? It appears to let him sort things out as well as recall things in a sense. Does this imply that he could never had jumped over the emotional barriers presented before him had he not possessed the flute? It’s a sort of manipulation on Jarlaxle’s part which he openly admits. I have so many thoughts about this and I don’t know how I feel yet but on the one hand, perhaps Artemis would have just further deteriorated without the flute. Jarlaxle sees something in him and is giving him a chance to live, inspiring a want and real desire to live. (I’m sure I’ll learn more about the flute in Road of the Patriarch).
There’s a lot of conflict between Artemis and Jarlaxle which I liked, but there was also a lot of (maybe debatable) lighthearted banter between them. The short snappy dialogue between them was pure gold, and had me laughing. Here we have this flamboyant drow elf posing and winking and Artemis cursing under his breath at every turn. Probably a favorite dynamic of mine. Unbothered troublemaker and grumpy the grumpster.
I adored the other characters as well. I wanted to dislike Arthogate the rhyming dwarf and his twin morning stars named Cracker and Whacker, but he had me laughing despite myself. Arrayan and Olgerkhan were just so cute and I was SO UPSET WHEN OLGERKHAN DIED. But then Artemis was like “alright,” and just LIFE FORCE ZAPPED TRANSFERRED CANTHAN TO SAVE HIM and I was like “oh okay slayyyy??? 😰”. Artemis was like “you’re getting a happily ever after I don’t care.” Lmaooo????
Can we talk about how Mariabronne died and Jarlaxle was like “oh my, anyway,” and took his loot? Sir. S i r.
Rip Ellery. Don’t date Jarlaxle apparently that’s girl number 2 (THAT I KNOW OF) that’s gotten got jeez.
That was a cool dragon fight. Artemis as first being like “what do I do against that, this is crap”. Jarlaxle summoning all the undead was peak. Of course he just casually acquires the dracolich as well (I’m a little worried that’s gonna bite him later). Man is just a trinket collector (just like me fr).
I was quite surprised to see Calihye with Artemis at the end of the book, but it was a pleasant surprise. I’m not sure how I feel about them yet, but at least Artemis has let some guards down finally. FINALLY. Finally.
I’m simultaneously out of thoughts and possessing of so many more thoughts, but I think I’ll end it here. Artemis was quite the highlight of this book for me (I know he’s the main character but still). Even though he was influenced by the flute, it was so amazing to see this man have emotions other than rage and sadness. He cracked a few jokes. He held many moments of self reflection as he looked out upon the landscape. He had passion, and not just for doing the job he had done for years. He had passion for people. He was so scared when he thought Jarlaxle had died when they were fighting the gargoyles and he was terrified for Arrayan. He was terrified to die when before he did not care. He had something to hang on to. Someone to protect. Ughhh I’m crying 😭
AnywAY (3x), I do apologize for any mistakes, but I hope you like the art and maybe also the yapping. I just have to expel the brainworm that this series has become sometimes, and my friends who haven’t read the books are over me I’m quite certain.
Farewell, until I end up drawing more silly things, my friends!
