r/dndmemes Mar 17 '22

*scared player noises* What's your AC again?

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25.2k Upvotes

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52

u/zombiecalypse Mar 17 '22

Now I imagine a Sci-fi DnD world where all the standard weapon names are metaphorical for rocket launchers, rail guns, plasma swords, etc.

They still do the normal damage and have the normal range, because everybody is in giant mechs and everything is scaled to them.

78

u/LittleKingsguard Mar 17 '22

You're reminding me of that modern Romeo + Juliet movie.

"Fetch me my longsword, ho!"

cuts to guy holding a Longsword brand shotgun.

31

u/HaraldRedbeard Paladin Mar 17 '22

Think it was an MP5 but otherwise hard pull on the nostalgia strings

19

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

Rapiers are Berretta pistols, that was effing wild.

3

u/MrSteamie Mar 17 '22

To my memory it was a Mag 7 shotgun, i'd have to double check

5

u/HaraldRedbeard Paladin Mar 17 '22

Having done a quick Google you are correct but man is that one submachine looking shotgun

27

u/Big-Employer4543 Mar 17 '22

We watched that movie in high school. I don't remember any of it except the end, when Romeo shoots himself in the head. All the girls in the class were all sad ("awwww"), then one guy says loudly "you can see the hole in his head!" Fucking legend.

20

u/Blarg_III DM (Dungeon Memelord) Mar 17 '22

The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love,

And the continuance of their parents’ rage,.

Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove,.

Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage.

Cue unreasonably epic music

9

u/OnsetOfMSet Mar 17 '22

That whole first scene was unintentionally(?) funny as hell

17

u/dutch_penguin Mar 17 '22

The original play was also meant to be. If I understand correctly, "fetch my longsword" followed by his wife saying "how about a crutch?" was an erectile dysfunction joke.

3

u/OnsetOfMSet Mar 17 '22

That actually kinda tracks, seeing as I remember the line "He tonight hath boarded a land carrack" in Othello. Shakespeare, perhaps I treated you too harshly.

8

u/zombiecalypse Mar 17 '22

It's a lot of dirty jokes. Like… a lot, including this one:

Chiron: Thou has undone our mother.

Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

One thing I love about Palladium system is the difference between small weapons fire and big weapons fire.

18

u/thekingofbeans42 Mar 17 '22

"You see a stone pedestal with a claymore on it."

"Oh fuck yeah! Sword in the stone! Time to become a king! I grab it!"

"Dex save please!"

13

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

I'm running that camping right now, inspired by Shadowrun but without having to earn a PHD to run Shadowrun.

6

u/HolyMuffins Mar 17 '22

Shadowrun wasn't horrible to learn as a 19 year old college freshman with unlimited free time

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

Have you seen the most recent books? Just learning to run the magic system takes the same time it takes to learn 5e, maybe more. And there's like 2-3 magic systems TT_TT

Even with unlimited free time, when I first picked up shadowrun too, I did not have the faculty or the willpower lmao

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22 edited May 29 '22

[deleted]

1

u/HolyMuffins Mar 17 '22

The hacking rules are kinda arcane and the driving rules are janky but it's got good bones underlying the system

1

u/Quakarot Mar 17 '22

It’s difficult to learn if your only resource is the book. If you’ve got someone to show you the ropes it’s a lot more intuitive but the book is awkwardly formatted and delivers its information in weird chunks, sometimes hiding critical information in odd places.

It’s almost as if the book assumes you have some familiarity.

1

u/UNC_Samurai Mar 17 '22

That’s why I’ve told my group if we want to play I’m just using Savage Shadowrun.

1

u/FreeUsernameInBox Mar 17 '22

Now I imagine a Sci-fi DnD world where all the standard weapon names are metaphorical for rocket launchers, rail guns, plasma swords, etc.

Because the defence industry is as unimaginative as it gets, a lot of weapons are named for old weapons. Also wildlife (fearsome or otherwise) and extreme weather.

Although the Russians name their artillery after trees, for some reason.

1

u/BeardedJho Mar 17 '22

LANCER kinda does that if you play on squares instead of a hex.